Systems for dealing with stroppy teenagers?

[Scramblinghealingdreaming]

I have a wonderful son who I am normally very close to.

He is now a teen and I recognise it is tough, hormones, coming through Covid etc but gosh he can be hard work sometimes.

I am looking for a book, forum, system, anything that can help to guide me through effective ways to deal with him.

I find myself getting sucked into ridiculous arguments about nonsense or reacting in ways through I know are not productive.

I found great coping strategies at other times in his life but can't seem to find anything that is effective for the teenage years.

I need a way to not get bogged down with this while still showing him I care, just till we come out the other side. Plus if I dont get overly involved in the drama / arguments etc. I am sure they will burn themselves out - I seem to add fuel because I am absolutely rubbish with conflict.

It's a minefield isn't it?! My Ds can be really quite vile and unreasonable! And then be quite sweet. For example...I gave him a lift to school, he got out the car whilst muttering that I should shut up. Then he turned round and waved to me like he was a little boy again!

Love bomb them and try to find some humour in it all. Apparently there's a good book called something like, Get out of my life but first take me and Alex into town...I keep meaning to read it.