Early mornings giving me the rage

[Notamorningperson1]

DD (4) has recently been waking at 5 instead of her usual 7. Pretty standard for children, so that's fine in itself, but because she is then tired the whole morning is a nightmare.

We say that she can come into bed with us to cuddle, or we can read a book quietly, but she will then kick off as she wants to be going downstairs and having breakfast, and also isn't satisfied until she knows she's woken the whole household up, including her 6 month old baby sister. She does this loud fake cry, stamps her feet etc.

So the baby is then also overtired, has to nap earlier than normal and the naps won't get her through til bedtime so she will be an overtired mess by then.

By 7am, DD then refuses to come down to have breakfast as she is too tired (basically ready to get back to sleep after 2 hours of playing up), whines through breakfast, keeps crying out that she's hurt herself in some way (she hasn't), and so the cycle continues. Argh!!

Any tips? Do we just let her come downstairs at 5 so at least she doesn't wake the baby in future? Should we insist on her going back to sleep more knowing she really does need the sleep?

It's really starting to grate on me and finding myself having less and less patience and feeling like a bad mum@!

Bring a banana upstairs when you go to bed and give it to her when she wakes up.

but if that doesn’t work then probably yes, one if you needs to take her downstairs so the other one plus baby can sleep more.

if she’s hungry the banana will help and she may go back to sleep or st least be more amenable to being quiet. If it’s just this time of year and sun (even through blackout blinds) then grin and bear it taking turns to get up with her. Use the time downstairs to get her dressed and ready for the day, so if she does then crash out again at 7, she’s breakfasted and dressed and you can let her nap until you need to leave.

Do you need to move her bedtime? She might be needing a later bedtime. Plus just moving it might be enough to snap her out of the habit.

I found out our gro clock out and that's done the trick with my early waker. He has to stay in his room and be quiet until the sun wakes up then he can come get me. He started off looking at books but now just goes back to sleep!

It didn't work at all when he was younger but has worked now he's 4.

At 4 i’d stand really firm on this and treat 5am as the nighttime. I gave my lo a wall clock at this age and marked 7am on the clock in a bright colour. He was then told that if he woke up before the hand reached the colour it was still nighttime and he needed to go back to sleep. I explained that it was normal to wake up at night sometimes and that I do it, but I settle myself back to sleep and that's what he needs to try and do. It's worked really well and he still uses it at 6 to gauge when he can get up. Something similar or a grow clock might work. I think you need to make it clear that there will be no activities or going downstairs until it’s time to get up. Make it as boring as possible.

I know some children get up early as a natural pattern and have the energy for it, but in your case, this is a new pattern and it's leaving your lo tired so she obviously needs the extra sleep. So i’d be boring, repetitive and very firm about staying in bed and trying to fall back asleep.

Also, is her room dark enough? Light and noise from birds in the summer can cause children to wake earlier. My lo has black out blinds and low level white noise which has helped with this. Also sometimes getting cold can cause waking at around 5ish I've found, so an extra blanket to hand can help.

Thank you!

I do think it's mostly because of the light, despite using motorised blinds + blackout curtains. When she came in this morning it was so bright I thought "great she slept through til 7 this morning!"until I looked at the clock and saw it was still only 5.

Interesting question about needing a later bedtime. Do children start needing less sleep at this age?

She did struggle to get to sleep at her usual 8pm bedtime at the weekend, and fell asleep closer to 9pm. I thought it may be due to the bright evenings and heat.
On nursery days she's exhausted though and will pass out before 8pm. Does 8pm to 5am sounds like enough sleep?

She will occasionally still sleep well and do her usual 8pm to 7am though so I do think she still needs the 11 hours, she will lay on the sofa in the day wanting to nap when she doesn't get them.

At 4, I think 8pm until 7pm would be usual and I wouldnt go later. I found that mine needed 11/12 hours with nursery / school etc. Getting overtired can actually lead to earlier wake ups and finding it hard to drift off (something I suffer with!!).

If light is an issue, i’d tape her curtains to the wall to block out side light as an experiment to see if that helps. Good luck!!

Yes that's been my dilemma. She has had phases of waking at 5am in the past and after staying firm and consistent she went back to sleeping til 7. I'm just considering letting her come downstairs just for an easy life now that there is a baby in the picture but it's hard to know what to do for the best.

Definitely feels like I have two chronically overtired children at the moment and it's not pleasant for anyone. On Sunday eldest DD fell asleep on the sofa at 10am when she's not napped for years. Almost makes me look forward to winter when it will be nice and dark and these issues hopefully disappear!

Thanks @Aria2015 I think we have another groblind in the loft I could add as a third layer too, I keep telling DH we need to get it down. It's happening today!