iPad sent my toddler insane

[ghoulie]

My (just turned) 3 year old is usually quite a soft, sweet boy. He has tantrums obviously but he's generally very sweet, thoughtful and reasonably well adjusted for a toddler. His speech is great so he can communicate well which helps. He's always had a bit of CBeebies here or there and been fine. My mum bought him an iPad, he has had it a little bit the last two days, he had it more today and when we took it off him to go for a walk he flipped. He begged for it back this evening after dinner and his dad allowed it and the battery died about 10 minutes in. He picked up and started whacking the iPad into his face repeatedly, he then picked it up and threw it across the room completely smashing the screen. I took it away and he started head butting the wall and screaming. I tried to pick him up and he bit me so hard I have teeth marks! He's never done that before. We've finally got him to calm down but he just lost his absolute shit like nothing I've ever seen for a solid 40 minutes.

What the actual fuck? He has never acted like that before. If this is how access to technology is going to make him act I don't want him to have it. Is this a thing? I know it obviously doesn't happen to every kid, I'm firmly in the camp of in moderation technology is fine for kids but that what just insanity.

I think some kids just can't handle tablets and stuff at that age. DD(3) has never been bothered about stopping playing with hers and doesn't use it that often except on long car journeys, but your son has very clearly shown you he can't handle it right now so I'd leave it until he grows up a bit. They don't need them at this age.

It does sound like a very extreme reaction though, so not surprised you are shocked!

Yes he just can't seem to handle it, I'm not going to allow anything that triggers behaviour like that. It's just nothing like him and I'm a bit shocked how intense he was after only owning the thing for two days!

My DS started having reactions like this when he was 3. It got to the point that he'd have a meltdown at the slightest thing, so perhaps it's a phase/age issue? If his communication is good then I'd let him calm down and then talk to him, ask him how he felt and why he reacted. In the meantime I'd definitely remove the iPad and put it away until he's older.

Wow. 😮

Never let him play computer games!!

I hope he and you are OK now.

Time for a break! Hide it, don't give it back to him.fot a good fee months and then see again.

Bought my DS(6) and DD(9) a switch at Xmas and it's the worst thing I've ever bought. They have the worst tantrums ever over it. They now have to have it once a week with a timer so they can see it counting down.

Games have a negative effect on some children, there's just something in their make up that makes them to either become addicts and to lash out when it's taken from them. DN was introduced to games like Minecraft when he was 12 and is now a gaming addict there's nothing we haven't tried! all night on it, can't eat cant sleep (I know this is extreme). Take it off him while you still can, there's nothing to be gained and everything to lose.

Mine are 8,6,3&2 and no iPads here, no games consoles. My older two have tablets which are for audio books and music only, they’ve never done anything else on them. I think iPads for children are a terrible idea.

My DS could have been like this. He is 8 and he's not got an iPad.

3 is far too young and completely unnecessary. Keep him away from it as long as possible. Some kids just LOVE screens. My DS would watch TV all day every day if I let him. My DD isn't bothered at all.

At 3, I was restricting my DDs to half an hour of children’s tv or video - this was 30 years ago, so tablets and mobile phone games weren’t a thing. They need to be active, have time outside in the fresh air, interact with people, develop social skills, motor skills (eg ball games), and reading/counting.
None of that is helped by obsessive use of computer screens.
I would be in no hurry to replace your DS’s tablet, OP. And if he has many more violent meltdowns, I would be considering an autism assessment.

My daughter was ok with screen time as a three year old during lockdown but after a while started noticing it made her behaviour a bit cranky afterwards. At first we thought it was just lockdown stress but it became more obvious it was screen related. She just watched YouTube kids. Now she’s older I can clearly see that she gets super aggressive and negative after screen time. Worse after some programmes (the stuff that’s not regulated just made by some random is always the worst) and I have a tv instead now as it doesn’t happen when she watches tv. In fact I’ve been sick recently and let her watch a tonne of tv and she is perfectly fine. I’ve decided it’s because they’re so concentrated on one tiny spot right in front of their face it blocks everything else out around them…but that’s just me making stuff up haha. But definitely definitely a thing.

Why do you still let him have access to it at all?

We've had some pretty epic tantrums induced by allowing screen time in the evenings. For us, ipad has to be put away before dinner or its a guaranteed meltdown!

My DS is older now but reacted like this with screens when he was younger and still struggles now in some ways. My friends think I am controlling and weird for restricting his screen access but honestly, he can't handle it.

I definitely think screens can do this to kids. We have a projector for a TV (no blue light) and my dd (3) doesn't have a huge reaction when I take it away. But the phone on the other hand- if she ever has it (v.rare) and has to stop using it she will kick off in a big way!!
I'm convinced the screen lights addictive. Who knows!