Bigger age gaps

[tingalayo]

I have a 3.5yo, trying for a second but it seems now there'll be an age gap of 4.5yrs or more and that does seem a little uncommon, I don't have any parent friends with that big a gap. I have a 5 year gap with my sister and we're close and I know my mum loved that gap, so I don't need reassurance as such that a bigger gap can be a positive, I know it can. But I would love to hear some experiences from parents of kids with a gap of 4 years or more, just things that are nice about it, what your kids relationship is like, challenges etc? :)

I wanted a 2 or 3 year age gap. I got a 9 year age gap. It didn’t matter what I wanted, nature and other ideas.
No it’s not ideal in some ways, but they are very close.

Just had our 2nd and have a 4.5 year age gap, I didn't want a big age gap either but I've absolutely loved it! The eldest hasn't been jealous at all, understands baby needs feeding and he has to wait some times. He's been really helpful as well, he will get everything out when she needs her nappy changing! Definitely glad of the age gap now!

I have a just turned 3 year old and miscarried this year just short of 20 weeks. I hope to start trying again at some point this year and I do feel sad that I've lost the age gap I would of had. At the end of the day though, that will just be your family, you'll never know anything different and it'll be amazing and perfect because it's yours. I could never wish my 3 year old was born at a different time because then he wouldn't be him - and I love him. We will feel the same about any other babies we are lucky enough to have and hold in our arms.

7 year gap in this house. Hoped for 4, but Mother Nature didn't agree.

They adore each other. One of the challenges we find is trying to find things to do that works for both of them. That's a bit easier now the older is 12 and the younger is nearly 5 and the 12 yo likes to "help" (read has an excuse to have a go) on bouncy castles, the swing at the park etc. But it was tricky when younger was 2-3 and just wanted to move, but the activities that worked for her, older one got a bit bored. It's also easier now, because the older one can take herself to activities after school, so don't need to try to work out how to be in 2 places at once.

We also ended up getting a second tv for our study during lockdown because neither could agree what to watch - cocomelon is not nearly so fun when you are 10/11.

Otherwise, my biggest challenge was getting used to sleepless nights again, and I had to buy everything again because I figured a 2nd child wasn't happening for us, and gave all the baby related things away (then got pregnant a few months later 🤷🏻‍♀️).