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Parenting

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Original poster

do you think its a bit odd to buy the house next door to your mum and dads?

41 replies

spottyzebra · 14/01/2008 15:54

name changed for this as it could get me into trouble!

yes the house thats joint on [semi]

this is what my brother did, sil sees my mum and dad everyday! allday!

feel a bit sorry for her as she doesnt have any friends and she is alright.

do you think this is a bit unhealthy?
she doesnt go to any groups and there ds 20month old doesnt get to go anywhere or do anything

i do make an effort to see sil and parents, and do once a week but thats enough for me

id hate to live in the house thats actually joint onto my mum and dads, but can see the perks esp about babysitting lol

anyone else think its a bit odd?
or am i a cow?

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bobsmum · 14/01/2008 15:58

I think it's strange. Even if I wanted to, my mum would have kittens is she thought we were moving to the same street as her! She would be v unimpressed.

I would be more worried about what could be heard through the walls!!

TheIceQueen · 14/01/2008 15:58

I think it's lovely - my family have always lived miles from each other (several hours drive) and I really envied my friends who had grandparents/aunts/cousins etc all living in the same town,street etc.Used to be very common to live close to your family - now it seems to be the norm to live miles from them.

saadia · 14/01/2008 16:00

I would like it, but I'm from a culture where extended families are the norm.

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makingnosense · 14/01/2008 16:00

No way I would do it as much as I love my family. We all live in the same town and thats just fine, but would hate to live next door!

Saturn74 · 14/01/2008 16:00

Each to their own.
Would be handy for babysitters.

But the idea of doing it myself makes me want to hide in a corner and shake!

ginnedup · 14/01/2008 16:04

Living next door to your MIL is odd.

Perish the thought - makes me shudder!

Anna8888 · 14/01/2008 16:06

The woman I know was horrified when her PILs announced they had bought the flat next door to their son's. Imagine - they didn't consult first and just decided they were going to live next door to their son and DIL...

lazarou · 14/01/2008 16:06

we lived with my parents for a while and I was quite happy, as was dh. We live round the corner now but my mum comes round every day. Obviously she gets on tits sometimes, but I like living close.

UnquietDad · 14/01/2008 16:08

I find it very odd.

MIL would love it. To her "family" is all-important. She never really got over DW moving "away" (we are in the next county )

doggiesayswoof · 14/01/2008 16:12

I (briefly) considered buying a house in the same street as my sister/bil and niece.

Same street as my mum or MIL though? NEVER.

sallystrawberry · 14/01/2008 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Piggy · 14/01/2008 16:14

My parents are 450 miles away. That's close enough for me.

FioFio · 14/01/2008 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 14/01/2008 16:17

no, i see nothing odd about this. like saadia, i'm from a culture where living among family was the norm.

i grew up in an extended family and parents, siblings and grandchildren all lived right round each other.

playgroups and the like are just a sad factor of a fractured society, IMO.

even when i was a child, there was no such thing! we played with our cousins and neighbours all day.

sallystrawberry · 14/01/2008 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

branflake81 · 14/01/2008 16:30

I think it's nice. I live half an hour's walk/ten mins drive from my parents and I like them being so close.

Original poster

spottyzebra · 14/01/2008 16:34

i think it's just the house thats attached that i find odd, if it was just the same street don't think id find it as strange

you wouldnt really b able to have a good old row with your dh/dp as your inlaws would hear it all!

OP posts:

alfiesbabe · 14/01/2008 17:05

Wouldnt be my cup of tea. Too many potential pitfalls - eg what if PIL get fed up with being expected to babysit all the time? What if you want to have a damn good rant at dh/kids?
A good car journey away is near enough for me!

mamadoc · 14/01/2008 19:28

My parents lived next door to my grandparents when I was a kid. I don't know how they did it but for me as a child it was fantastic. I was always round there and was incredibly close to them. Grandad taught me gardening and granny baking- things my parents weren't interested in. My mum went out to work but I have no memory of her going as it was normal to me to be with gran. I feel sad often that my DD won't have the same.
I know my mum did have to put up with interference but she would say it was more than compensated for by all the support.

MrsMills · 14/01/2008 19:32

We have jsut had this conversation with DS1 (7). He wants to buy the house next to us rather than leave home comletely when he's older, and then when we die he's going to buy a glass box and put us in it and then we can all live back together again.

I told him he had beter ask his wife first, she may object(or maybe she won't).

princessmel · 14/01/2008 19:34

I live a 3 min drive away from my parents. I like that they are so close.
Living in the adjoining house is pushing it abit but I wouldn't say that I'd not do it. My parents have their own lives and I know they'd carry on the same.

CountessDracula · 14/01/2008 19:34

It is a bit odd I suppose
But if he and SIL get on with them then I can't see any issue with it really

What i find odder is that my parents live next door to each other

I mean why get divorced then move in next door?

freaks

(there was an intervening gap of 20+ years)

noonar · 14/01/2008 19:35

well, we are moving house and dh's parents have just announced that theyve seen a house in the same street! i would go loopy if they bought it! could just about cope with them being in the same neighbourhood, but would hate them to pop by on a daily basis. my mum is 10 min walk away. perfect.

i do think its odd, unless its the norm for you, culturally.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 14/01/2008 19:36

I don't live next to my parents but as of last year we live a few streets away. Now they are getting on in years it's much less of a worry for me.

When I was young I lived with my parents next door to my maternal grandmother. We were all very close and it was fab, my mum has no siblings so her mum was her only family really.

drivinmecrazy · 14/01/2008 19:43

I Do live next door to my parents. We all find it works fantastically. DDs can see as much of them as they want, but I don't have to. Mum and Dad recently moved more permanently to their house in Spain and I really miss the contact. Dad has just come back for more cancer treatment, and i am secretly glad he is back. After school 7 yo DD1 often pops round to spend time with him, and he even takes my 2 yo if she gets a bit of a handful. To be honest, we rarely see them as we all have our own busy lives. Loads of perks though. As for the arguments, that work both ways, when we hear them rowing, but we all just ignore it and its never mentioned. my DD1 was traumatized this xmas because we couldn't have lunch in their rather posh dining room as they stayed in Spain, so we cooked it in ours then took the kids round and used their house for the day

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