Behaviour / Routines

[Picklebob123]

Hi all
5 1/2 year old son is an angel at school, polite, listens, behaves etc and a gem.

He loves routine (patterns as he calls it). School clothes have to be in the correct order in his draw, hair has to be done before teeth, we mustn't change his breakfast without telling him and he won't drink his drink until his sister finishes for a race. Every morning he asks if we can go a certain way to school and have to play the same game all the way to school.

After school he is in aggressive mode towards his sister so I send him straight to get changed. He comes down more often than not in a fowl mood, shouting (his voice is constantly on loud), reading his school books is mission impossible and then the complaints, shouting continues to bedtime.

Taking away toys means nothing, the 'thinking' spot has no effect, take away priviledges, he may cry for 2 minutes but is then over it. I am very consistent.

Saturdays are our getting used to being home day and very stressfull as the smallest thing will set him off wrong for the day.

He eats a varied range of foods however 'slimy foods' eggs, mushrooms, onions are off the cards, he will take one bite and vomit.

Yet on a holiday he is much more relaxed with his sister but still very routine based. Everything has to be on his terms, he constatly talks over everyone. Things have to be done specific ways if not he is sure to let us know.

Is this "normal" reception behaviour?

Gently, no. He sounds like he has some sort of additional need going on here, and that being "an angel" at school takes all his concentration and effort, so bad behaviour explodes at home. Google masking. I'd speak to school and the GP for an assessment ASAP.

Has his behaviour changed recently or has he always been like this?

Sounds super stressful for you ♥️

This sounds a lot like my autistic child who loves routines and structure and seems to be thriving at school, but by pick up time has exhausted herself managing to meet all the requirements of school and then hardly has the energy to talk and will often be aggressive and moody and sometimes violent or destroy things. I'm not going to diagnose your child, but might be worth investigating if there is any neurodiversity or unmet learning needs

He has always been like this and I have always thought something is not quite right however since starting school he is harder to calm down.

He has 2 younger siblings and they have been so much different (easier) to parent.