9 week old -15 minute naps.

[Emmaeloiseee]

Hi,

am I doing something wrong?! My son who’s 9 weeks won’t nap for longer than 15 minutes then wakes up and cries! He’s got no health concerns such as reflux, colic. He used to nap for over an hour but for the past 5 days hasn’t been great at naps.

i know he’s young but I’ve made a nap routine for when he does nap, i swaddle him in a dark room, give him a cuddle, turn on the white noise and put his dummy in. All this works but he stays asleep for only 15 minutes.

I watch out for his tired cues such as yawning, staring into space, red eyebrows etc and he has about 1 hour 30 minutes of awake time in between his daytime naps.

he’s getting to the point in the day where he’s tired and wanting to sleep on me, which I sometimes allow however I also have a toddler who needs his needs met and it isn’t always practical to have him nap on me all the time so I’ve been putting him down in his cot to nap for the past two days for every nap in the day.

at night time, he goes to bed around 8-10pm and sleeps for 4ish hours then feeds then sleeps for another 3 1/2 then feeds then has a quick nap.

Yeah, you'd be wildly lucky to get a baby who naps alone for long stretches at that age. They sometimes do when they're very tiny, but once they wake up a bit they generally don't sleep very well alone for a good few months. Evolution and biology tells him that sleeping alone is dangerous.

Also, at 9 weeks he shouldn't be napping in a separate room away from you anyway, all sleep should be with an adult in the room til 6 months, to prevent SIDS.

If I were you I'd get a sling, and let him nap in that while you get on with life. That's what works for me, I have a 4m baby and a toddler.

You've done so well to be able to put the baby down at all! that's going to pay off so much in the future I think. I couldn't get mine to do that until around 4 months. maybe pick up and contact nap the rest? - definitely in a sling if you can so you can move around? Baby should nap for longer as they get older

Oh sorry but also to add what above poster said baby should still be in same room as you for all sleeps at their age not a dark room.

Wait I’m confused, they shouldn’t sleep in a dark room? I only close the curtains and in the daytime it doesn’t darken the room as I have light coloured curtains, it’s just to stop a lot of sunlight from hitting his face as it’s a room that faces the sun In the day!

the next to me is literally next to me in the night time but I cannot be with the baby when he naps all the time, even if I put him in the Moses basket downstairs in the living room I’d still have to move from room to room doing jobs and chasing after my toddler, on the off chance he slept more than 15 minutes and he slept an two hours I couldn’t sit there and not make my other child lunch etc and go to the kitchen.

in the evening & throughout the night he’s in the same room as me napping/sleeping but this baby doesn’t like to be put down ever and if I can get 15 minutes to 1 hour when he’s sleeping I need to be able to make tea and more around the house as otherwise I wouldn’t be able to do anything!

Do you put him in the bedroom to sleep during the day? Until he's 6 months old at least, he should sleep in the same room as you during day time naps and in the evening. Leaving the room for 5 minutes is fine as long as his sleep space is safe. Check out the lullaby trust for info.

Yeah sorry 😞 popping out to kitchen and other rooms etc is fine but away from you and in own room isn't really advised. I said 'dark' room just because like you say you need to be able to do things during the daylight so baby will be napping in a room that's not all dark.

Pp are correct, he shouldn't be in the other room for naps at 9 weeks old. Could he have his daytime naps in a sling? Then you can get on with whatever you need to.

I have to admit we didn't do it until 6 months as per the guidance as my baby was such a light sleeper so he did start going into own room around 4/5 months for naps. Not ideal or recommended but he started to really need that quiet place. He still slept with us at night until 7 months. However at 9 weeks he was definitely still napping in the same room as me - they can usually sleep through more and not need the room to be darkened when they are so young.

Perfectly normal unfortunately, even though it's frustrating. Just stick him in a sling if you need to get stuff done. My first baby would only nap on me for 8 months! As soon as he was put down his eyes would ping open and he'd scream.

I’m envious you can put your baby down for 15 minutes, my boy wakes up immediately when put down the little monkey!

My daughter will only sleep and settle if she's put down. She doesn't like being held at all and won't sleep unless you lay her on a flat surface and give her peace!

She spent time in NICU so I think that's why. It feels like my baby doesn't want me OP so strangely I'm a little envious

If she didn't wake to feed every 4 hours, I'd feel like she wasn't even here at all

My DS was the same, also a NICU baby. I just embraced the freedom and the good sleep. He's 4 next week and obsessed with me so don't worry too much!

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I second the sling suggestion but alternatively, do you have enough space for your pushchair in the house, baby could nap in there and if the wheels are clean you could wheel him about downstairs as needed. May also comfort him a bit with the movement and you could put a shade over it to darken maybe

It’s what’s recommended but what works for my baby especially in the evening time is having a mini routine of bath, bottle, bed. Being put on his back, feet at the bottom in a room which is temperature recommended with the window open for a fresh breeze oxygen. A dummy and a swaddle which is actually a swaddle bag 1.0g tog to prevent overheating and him from being able to wiggle out and have anything over this face. The sleeping bag tog gets changed if the room is cooler. We also leave the door open to have access to the house noise and he has a baby monitor so I can see him at all times.

a sling just doesn’t work for him or me as when he’s asleep that’s when I shower and make tea and sit down to eat

I go to bed one hour after he’s put down so once I have made the bottles, showered and eaten I go into the same room as him and sleep.

as Harsh as it sounds I cannot have him only napping on me as I go back to work in 5 months and will need him to settle without me there for his daytime naps

Hmm, this is really difficult OP. Maybe how he's grown a bit he can deal with longer awake times? My son is 8 weeks and has never stuck to the 1.5 hour awake window, he's only really has 2 naps most days. Could you try keeping him up for another hour and see if his nap lengthens?

Well you're just going to have to wait it out I'm afraid, he's unlikely to be developmentally ready to nap alone for a good few months.

If I were you, I'd work on adjusting your expectations, and on doing your chores/having your shower when he's awake as you're going to have to go with the flow and accept at least some contact/sling naps as 15min naps will leave you with an utterly miserable baby.

5 months is a long time away in the life of a baby and I don't think you need to worry too much about starting now. Everything you're doing sounds great it just needs to be with you around. Annoying when you need to do things but it's the safest thing at 9 weeks. I used to take baby with me awake into the bathroom at that age and have him in the bouncer.. you kind of just need things to transport baby around with you..carriers, bouncers, pram in the hallway.

i have a bouncer but it’s easier said than done with having him in the shower with me etc, he cries near enough every time he’s in it or just down from me in general and if he leave him to cry or I’m mid shower he will wake my other son up. During the day I cannot shower while my toddler is awake too as having both of them in the bathroom would be chaos.

i have a pram in the hall but sadly he hates it and I’ve only managed to use it with the car seat attached instead of the pram when going to the shops etc so he cannot sleep in it

even when not put down and he’s asleep on me it’s 15 minute naps all the way.

Unfortunately the baby doesn't know what is convenient for you and what isn't. All he knows is that he wants to be close to you.

One thing that did work a bit better for me was putting him in the seat of the pram to sleep (he always hated the flat carry cot so I put the proper seat on when he was really little) as then he was a bit more upright so he seemed to settle better.

I do get it, I found it really frustrating because I needed to get things done. But after trying bloody everything to get him to nap on his own I mostly ended up having to give up and either sit and hold him or put him in a sling.