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Original poster

To feel tearful a week after giving birth?

23 replies

cakeandprosecco1 · 09/06/2022 16:48

A week ago I gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl. I am over the moon with her, and very grateful.

A few days ago I've started feeling really tearful, and finding I'm bursting into tears over nothing really and struggling to stop.

I had a tough and quite traumatic birth which I think I need a debrief on, I'm feeling quite overwhelmed at the sudden change in my life (even though I know it was going to change)
I wasn't prepared for how sore I would be after birth..

My partner is very supportive so no issues there.
I'm overwhelmed with the love and protectiveness I feel over my baby, but also just so tired and broken, sore, loss of my old life and hoping I'm doing a good job as a mother.

Is this all normal?

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wildchild88 · 09/06/2022 16:52

@cakeandprosecco1

I think it's normal. After the birth of my son I was actually ok, I think I maybe felt a bit emotional for one afternoon. After the birth of my youngest who is now 8 months (a girl) I cried hysterically for weeks. I remember crying 9 days after the birth at my dads birthday meal as the dog had chewed one of my eldest's old toys!
It actually in my case did develop into full blown PND. I thought I was ugly and had nothing to wear, I felt my baby had ruined the life I had with my eldest and meant I couldn't get a job. I didn't have an overall supportive DP though and we have since separated.
I think it's normal but do keep an eye on it. You should still be able to function relatively normally (as much as you can with a newborn!) even with baby blues but with PND day to day life becomes a struggle.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2022 16:54

This is very, very normal, op. It's the Baby Blues due to hormonal fluctuations.

undermilkjug · 09/06/2022 16:54

Absolutely normal. It's hormones (which doesn't really help) combined with exhaustion and the end of a massive Adrenalin rush.

Sleep when you can and eat plenty of deliciousness. A glass or two of wine can also be quite helpful!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Antenatal & postnatal Families General parenting

pastabest · 09/06/2022 16:58

Its called the baby blues and it is very very normal. It would be more unusual if you didn't get them.

There is a huge hormone drop that coincides with reality setting in a bit combined with very little sleep.

It usually passes after a few days but if it doesn't let the health visitor or the GP know.

I also agree that having a glass of wine and a hot bath helps.

Odile13 · 09/06/2022 17:00

Completely and utterly normal. Giving birth and looking after a baby are huge events and take time to get over / get used to.

pitterypattery00 · 09/06/2022 17:02

Absolutely normal! There are massive hormone changes a few days after you give birth - combined with lack of sleep - our antenatal classes focused on that a lot.

I needed a debrief of my son's birth. I actually ended up getting 3! One the day after he was born, another on day 4 (we were still in hospital) and another when he was a week old (while back at hospital for a blood test). The third was the most useful as it was with the midwife who delivered my baby. She spent a good hour or more going over everything with me and I felt I took it all in. But with hindsight I was severely sleep deprived, hormonal, and my brain just wasn't functioning normally. So I still have questions now. So while I'd absolutely recommend a debrief, don't feel it's something you have to rush into. And I'd recommend writing down the specific questions you have - I wish I'd done that.

Topseyt123 · 09/06/2022 17:04

It is very normal. I remember mourning the loss of my old life and freedoms too. I actually wondered if I had done the right thing having DD, although she was long planned, very much wanted and I adored her.

Having a baby was one of the hardest times of my life, especially my first.

It is probably baby blues and it can be in varying degrees of intensity for different people. You need to be kind to yourself. Take advantage of all realistic offers of help and understanding adult company. Watch carefully that it lifts soon and doesn't progress into full below PND. If it doesn't lift then see your GP.

For me it did lift, though I took about six weeks to begin feeling more like myself again. It was horrendous while it lasted though.

GnomeDePlume · 09/06/2022 17:05

Totally normal for a few days as pregnancy hormones subside plus the adrenalin aftermath.

If you still feel this way after two weeks then please do speak to HV or MW. I didn't and really wish I had.

GailTheSnail · 09/06/2022 17:05

Big hugs mate. Childbirth is a huge thing to go through especially when things go awry. I felt broken afterwards too even though like you i was so so happy to be a mum. Please do get all the help you need. You need looking after as well as baby x

SpaghettiNotCourgetti · 09/06/2022 17:07

Very normal. DD1's birth was long and traumatic and it took me a long time for it to stop feeling so raw.

I had a C section next time around (a month ago) and it's been night and day in terms of emotions. I've had a few teary moments but it's been nothing like it was when I was a bit shell shocked after labour.

Make sure you get your debrief. I didn't get mine until I was 34 weeks with DD2 and I wish I'd had it earlier to save me from three years of feeling like I was weak and useless

CharIotte · 09/06/2022 17:08

Agreed with all the other posts, completely normal - just wanna say congratulations! I'm sure you'll be a great mama

Whoatealltheminieggs · 09/06/2022 17:10

I don’t know how normal it is but I was like this both times and the midwife did tell me that some women were very sensitive to all the hormones. I did have fairly crap births and had significant birth injuries and sepsis too. My feelings did progress to post natal depression though. See how you feel in a few days but get some help from your GP if it doesn’t improve

shivawn · 09/06/2022 17:16

Completely normal. I actually didn't experience this but all my friends with babies did.

knittingaddict · 09/06/2022 17:25

I cried buckets about day 5 or 6. It's the baby blues and totally normal. I also had a difficult birth and some uncomfortable stitches and I was also stuck in hospital for 5 days post birth (normal for the mid 80's) and one nurse was spectacularly unsympathetic. She was vile and made a bad situation worse.

More than likely it will pass soon op. 💐

BertieBotts · 09/06/2022 17:25

Absolutely normal. They call it the day 3 blues but it can happen at any time shortly after birth. I had it the worst with DS2 which was a slightly traumatic birth and it did hit me on day 7. It felt like homesickness and used to be worst at dinner time for some reason.

Cry as much as you want/need to keep an eye on it, it should start to feel better over the next week or so, if it doesn't, talk to your GP or health visitor. Definitely worth doing the birth debrief as well, and talk to your partner or anyone else who was there and see what they remember, that helped me a lot.

Vsirbdo · 09/06/2022 17:26

Definitely normal; I used to cry around 4pm each day when the tiredness seemed to hit for the first week or two

peachy3 · 09/06/2022 17:40

I could’ve written this exact post word for word after my birth. All I did was cry. I had gone through 27 hours of labour, two hours of unsuccessful pushing and then an emergency c-section where I lost 4 litres of blood, passed out on the operating table and almost died. Spent 9 days in hospital, had infections and black outs so couldn’t do anything with my baby except hold him sitting/laying down. Didn’t change a nappy or his clothes, didn’t feed him in the first few days. Healing process was absolute hell. Once I had healed enough to be able to do things for him it was a crazy adjustment and I felt like the worst mother on the planet because he was about 3 weeks old and I had no idea what I was doing. All I did for the first month of his life was cry and cry and now that he’s two months old and I’m in full mum mode I’m having a great time. It does really take time to process the trauma of birth and the drastic life change of becoming a mum but I promise it won’t last forever💐

Bumpsadaisie · 09/06/2022 19:27

Oh definitely. It's the post partum blues!

You've been on a massive hormonal journey, your body's a bit wrecked, you've had quite a shock even if a lovely one.

You've sailed through and now there's the crash.

Don't worry. It passes. It's just your body's way of settling down and adjusting be starting recovery. Just have a good old cry.

cdba88 · 09/06/2022 19:28

Very normal, surely you've heard of the baby blues?

If you feel it's getting out of control speak to your health visitor or gp.

BertieBotts · 09/06/2022 20:22

I honestly feel like birth is such a massive intense experience anyway, even the two births I had that weren't "traumatic" were HUGE and I needed to process them. Talking to other women who have given birth is helpful for that. Even talking it over on here. Figuring out the timescale and what happened when is also useful.

mia2201 · 09/06/2022 22:29

Sending you a big hug, so normal. Please be patient, it may last much longer than you expect. I cried most days for so many reasons, peaked around 6 weeks. Unusual? Maybe but having a baby us monumental change, it really takes a while to find your feet. Indulge in food, a little wine and get out of the house, even for 5 minutes- daylight makes such a difference. It really will be OK!

girlmummy25 · 09/06/2022 23:15

Very normal, just keep an eye on it though. There are questionnaires you can fill in online that will tell you if you are brinking on PND depending on how you feel/your answers.
My top tips to help:
Get sleep (hardest thing to achieve!) but accept any help offered if you have any and go have a lay down
Keep taking your vitamins!
Stay well hydrated
Get a B12 injection or high B12 vitamin
Talk about it! Dont bottle it up - family, friends, anyone!
Speak to a therapist if needed
Go for walks / light exercise if your able to

MayDaze · 09/06/2022 23:24

Completely normal. You've been through a huge upheaval, have completed a massive feat of endurance AND been traumatised to boot. On top of all this you are feeling things you've never thought possible and you're suddenly aware that this is on you, the weight of responsibility is totally overwhelming.

I had my first baby at Christmas and sobbed because I couldn't go home and enjoy my usual Christmas celebrations 😂 I then spent days poring over the information leaflets from the hospital and sobbing because I took it as red that everything they warned against was going to happen to my precious baby. My mum turned up, took all the leaflets and chucked them in the bin!

One thing I found was if I didn't keep on top of my hydration, I got that feeling of "homesickness" (excellent way of describing it btw, whoever said that up thread) washing over me more frequently.

You've got this, huge congratulations on your little girl and just keep talking and take as much help as is offered.

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