Starting nursery

[catal]

Hi,

My 3 years old starts nursery in August and I'm wondering what kind of support the children get at that age as he's still not eating by himself, not dressing or being able to put his shoes on and he's not potty trained.

Thanks

That's the biggest load of rubbish I've ever read.

Can you not potty train him over the summer? You need to teach him skills, such as eating and dressing. It's really important.

@MolliciousIntent
Well that's what I thought! Haha! But thought.... well maybe in a weird way she means something else!!

Yup my child at 2.5 could put her socks and shoes on, changes from her dressing up outfits very quickly too! Just mastering putting on coats!

Obviously OP doesn't know that your meant to teach your child life skills xxx

This.

Yes, staff will help children within the ratios they have, and obviously spend more time with those with additional needs, but from what you say this is just you delegating your responsibilities as a parent, rather than supporting your child to learn age appropriate skills.
Your dc will be 1 of 8 children for each adult (unless there is a teacher there, in which case will be 1 of 13). Why do you think they should be spending time on skills that you have failed to teach when you are presumably 1:1 (or possibly 1to2 if there is a sibling, or maybe 2to1 if they are an 'only' and there are 2 parents). ?

In the nicest possible way your son will struggle at nursery. As others have said it’s pre-school they’re refining their gross and fine motor skills not just learning them!

My youngest is 3, she has been able to do socks, shoes, pants, trousers and top since she was 2.6 at the latest. My eldest was the same. And they have plenty of other stimulation!

Teach her the overhead method.

My niece could out her coat on by 2 like that, and taught everyone at nursery

Is this a joke? Why are other children responsible for teaching your child stuff but you're not? What an utterly bizarre attitude.

Hi, I never said the other children are responsible for teaching my child. I said if other children are doing it maybe he'll copy them. If your children have only learned stuff from you and not from any other person (adult or child) then you are a great parent but children are all different and we are told not to compare. But if you have nothing useful to say maybe you shouldn't write on this forum. I wouldn't have asked anything if my child had no issues, but obviously he has and I'm trying to address them but just in case I can't I just wanted to get more info for my peace of mind.

As first time parents we all make some mistakes and if you haven't then great for you.
I didn't put the question so that you all compare my child with yours as you don't know my situation and I don't know yours.
My question was a simple one but it turned into how much of a bad parent I am. Exactly this is what a first time parent needs to hear. So well done.
Anyway I will speak with the nursery and explain the situation.
But just so you all know there are children out there that have food sensory aversion and because of this feeding them is difficult and I hope you'll never be in this situation.
With regards to him dressing and undressing we never pushed him to do it but recently he started being a bit more active with this.
The reason I put the question in the first place is because I wanted some peace of mind and get some advice from more experienced mums but all I got was judgment and trolling.

Well, we all asked you if there were any additional needs, and you said he's smart but lazy! No mention of sensory difficulties or food aversions, just the suggestion that children who learn practical skills are understimulated.

If you want useful advice you need to give people all the relevant information.

Some harsh responses here OP. A good nursery will support your son. And of course you are right that he will see other children and copy.

You have some time to support some of the behaviours at home between now and August too.

He is a very smart child but very lazy on the practical stuff. I've noticed sometimes children pick more on the practicalities of life because there is no other stimulation in their environment, but he has plenty. Everywhere you look is something for him to do.

It was this accusation that "other children" might be further on with independence skills "because there is no other stimulation" that has annoyed everyone catal .
There has been no trolling. You got "judgement" because of what you wrote.
If you had said that you were concerned that your child wasn't where they might be, and - i don't know - maybe not criticised everyone else's parenting, then you would have had very different replies.

On the internet, people only reply to the information you give them.

If both my DC had a choice id still be dressing, feeding and wiping their bum no doubt ha ha they are 3 and 13. Both highly stimulated and learned because they were taught. Not out of boredom.

They learned because daily I would let them help get themselves ready. Whether that was trying to put on shoes/socks/pants/coat/pyjamas. DS struggles putting his head in tops but can manage the rest purely because he has been taught.

Feeding is the most surprising to me as most children will make an effort to feed themselves. Youngest of mine especially as he loves his food. He's messy eating still but can easily eat a meal.

Potty training at our nursery they support with this but majority done at home.
DS wears pull ups as only recently toilet trained. He asks to go for a wee but hasn't mastered poos every time yet.
Nursery have said send him in normal pants or pull ups as they expect some accidents but want children to at least have started learning.