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Spontaneous play dates angst

4 replies

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts · 08/06/2022 16:55

Does anyone else get anxious when other kids come to play? DS will start kindergarten in the summer and the little girl from the apartment downstairs will be in his class. They have recently discovered each other and now have spontaneous play dates, where one knocks for the other, about 3 times a week. Whilst I love it for DS that he has someone his age to play with (DSS comes EOW but is 8 years older) and is getting to know a classmate in advance of starting school, I get so anxious during these play dates, and I’m not generally a very anxious person.

they tend to play quite boisterously and make quite a huge mess, which is nice in some ways because DS doesn’t play in his room much on his own. I think it’s just because the house is usually so quiet, I’m sure it’s pretty normal if you have more than one child, and I’m just not used to it. Any advice on how to chill out, I don’t want to be a nervous wreck for the next 10 years! And I want DS to feel relaxed when his friends come to play.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MolliciousIntent · 08/06/2022 16:58

What are you actually worried about? Properly think about that, and address those issues.

Flakeymcwakey · 08/06/2022 16:58

Were you allowed to be noisy and make a mess as a child, OP? Only asking as I notice myself getting uptight about stuff that I would have been in trouble for, but isn't really a problem. Loudness for example

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts · 08/06/2022 17:53

@Flakeymcwakey and @MolliciousIntent thanks for taking the time to respond. I think you’ve both probably identified the underlying cause of my anxiety if I’m honest. And I’m really trying to not to say anything when DS is playing as I don’t want to pass it on to him.

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minipie · 08/06/2022 17:59

I don’t like spontaneous playdates but for totally different reasons… It’s because I don’t know if I am expected to feed them tea, what if I don’t have the right amount of food (I meal plan so there often is already 2 portions of something ready for my DC), how do I know when to collect if my kid is at theirs, what if we needed to get a job done that afternoon. Etc.

I do have some social anxiety so this is probably part of the reason.

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