13 month old doesn’t want me!

[ShleepyMumma]

My 13 month old just doesn’t seem to want to be around me, only wants her Dad. She’s never been very clingy or cuddly to me but neither was she with him. This is a recent thing but has been going on for a month now. Whinging with me when she knows her Dad is in the house, wants him to be around her. Happy to cuddle him, be picked up by him. Cries when he leaves the house or puts her down. Seems to really want nothing to do me, has pushed my face away when I try to do cuddles and will happily wave bye bye to me when I leave the house🤣
Ive read these phases can be normal but it really hurts! How should I handle it? Do I pull away a bit and give her space to be with her Dad? Or do I keep trying to be involved with her?
Would really love some advice/what this all means! Making me a bit sad!

No don't pull away, just keep doing what you're doing. Its just a phase but just so you know girls are for their dads haha

Have you recently returned to work?
It is deffo a phase, don't pull back.
Keep doing what your doing and you'll soon become her favourite again until she changes her mind, again 🤣

@HSKAT yes I have just returned to work! And I do nursery drop off. Feels like she’s punishing me!
What can I do to have her not cry with me? Tried playing etc, giving cuddles and kisses but she really seems to not want it

It’s a phase, mine went through similar when she turned 2, after a holiday it was all “dad this” “dad that”
I just kept playing with her and let her have cuddles with her dad when she wanted
then one day she decided she wanted me… and I have not been able to get her to back off… she’s 11! Lol
don’t worry, it’s a phase, in a bit you’ll come back to ask what to do so dad does not feels left out

I hear that girls can favour their Dads. My two friends have baby girls of similar age and they only want mummy, always have done. So it’s hard to not compare. Feel like I haven’t bonded with her maybe?!

No of course you have bonded.
She's been used to daddy going to work but not you.
It will take awhile for you to both settle into your new routines.
She'll come back to you, they always do.

If I were you I'd let the two of them have some lovely time together and soak up the opportunity to have a bit of breathing space! My 2.5yr DD goes through these phases and DH and I have both confessed that it's quite nice to be persona non grata because it means a chance to lie in bed for an extra 10 minutes, and peace and quiet during bedtime!

I love it when DS has a "daddy day" because I get a break from it being mummy mummy mummy.

It'll pass OP but it's ok to feel a bit sad.

Enjoy the peace 😂😂😂

I would like it to not get worse, even if it doesn’t improve because I feel it is getting worse. She really does just moan and cry with me but stop the minute my DH takes over. DH is loving being the favourite (very keen to be a Dad, wanted kids before me) but at the same time then doesn’t want to put in the work as main caregiver so I don’t really get to enjoy the rest. I just have to look after a miserable baby who doesn’t want me.
Any tips?

Make him take care of the baby if she wants him! Don't put up with Disney Dadding.

It's just a phase OP and I don't think there's a magic way you can stop it. My DD was a massive daddy's girl at this age but now she's a teen and we are really close - it's fab. Just carry on as normal, but make sure DH shares in the grind of parenting as well as the fun stuff!

Totally normal, my 19 month old DD constantly goes through phases of who is her favourite. Don’t pull away but equally don’t force kisses and cuddles on her if she doesn’t want them. Just play with her, get involved in her games, do bath time and maybe get in with her and make it fun. Play peek a boo and read to her. She will come back to you and you will wish it was dads turn again 😂

I'm the dad in this situation (not the OPs partner I hasten to add!) It started in similar circumstances to yours OP, when dw went back to work at 9 months our son got very clingy onto me. He's now 2.5 and it's still going on, although it's definitely more equal now and there are hours at a time when it's just 'want mummy'. Ways we have dealt with it have been having a strictly alternating bedtime and bathtime rota to make sure dw gets time with him alone, and me leaving the house for longer periods and even weekends away (I WFH and had extended paternity leave so have been around a lot) to give dw and ds a chance to hang out without him prowling the house looking for me. Good luck with it, it's not very nice especially for mothers, I think the best thing you can do is keep going at it and not withdraw if you can

thanks @YRGAM , nice to hear a Dad’s perspective of it all! I will do as you and others have said, not withdraw, try and be normal and get involved. It’s definitely getting worse and she just follows him constantly, cuddles him but will not even consider getting close to me. Mega painful when you give so much to them! I’ll try the bedtime routine idea, and having times when it’s just me to see if that improves things.