Ds4 changes personality when poorly

[PreciousL]

DS is 4, he's so loving and amazing and no trouble at all, unless he's poorly. Even if he only has a runny nose and seems physically perfectly fine within himself, we will have 3 or 4 days every time he has a virus where he is horrendous.

I'm currently hiding away crying after an awful hour, he's been screaming at me, hitting himself really hard, throwing things and is just in tears saying he doesn't know why he is so cross and it's breaking my heart. To make things worse I lost my patience and shouted at one point and it made things even more awful.

I swear it's everytime he is poorly, I get that he might be more tired, perhaps in pain too, but the reactions are so extreme. Is it a thing?

Yes definitely a thing. A few days before ds is ill he is a nightmare. It took us years to make the link. He’s 12 now and much better. He’s poorly at the moment and just slightly grumpier than normal.

Have you given him pain relief (paracetamol or ibuprofen)? He may well be in discomfort (headache, sinus pain etc) and unable to verbalise that to you since he is still only 4.

@Harrysutton thank you, so glad to know I'm not crazy. And yes, same, it tends to be worse in the lead up to the illness. So we'd often be pulling our hair out wondering why his behaviour is suddenly so awful and then some symptoms will appear.

Actually I just remembered a couple of years ago I thought we'd hit the terrible twos after 4 days of uncontrollable hitting, screaming, etc... then he started with a runny nose and cough, and tested positive for Covid. It just can't be a coincidence.

I guess I just need to work on not letting it get to me and shower him with love rather than discipline. I was alone today with him and the baby and it got too much. I was genuinely scared he would hit the baby in a fit of rage.

@EgonSpengler2020 I sometimes do but don't want to medicate if it's just bad behaviour but I guess I need to trust my instinct. It's so not like him he must be ill in some way.

Yep, ds was the same. Appalling behaviour for a few days then the ear infection would start.