Going back to work worries 😭

[SunnySide1992]

Hello, need some advice. My daughter is just over 6 months old. She's starting solids which is good. She's exclusively breastfed. My mum is going to look after her when I go back to work end of August, so she will just turn 9 months. My question is do I have to start introducing a bottle for her? Will she need milk during the day? I'm so worried, she's so attached to me, uses the boob to relax and falls asleep via boob only. I'm just really worried about the whole thing to be honest. Any advice? I'm getting my mum round twice a week and starting to leave them for a bit so she can get used to me not being there. But can't leave them too long incase she gets hungry and needs boob. Or tired and needs to nap on me 😭😭

Yes, she will still need milk in the day at that point. You can work on getting her to take a bottle, or you could just put milk in whatever she drinks her water from at meals. The feeding to sleep thing is another issue - how you tackle that one depends on you, and your mum. Do you want to stop feeding to sleep and contact napping completely? If so I'd sleep train now. If you want to keep doing that, you're going to need to trust your mum to figure out a way to get baby to sleep without boob. That could be quite stressful for them both, short term, so you'll need to work out if you're happy with that.

It's up to the baby, but most are still on at least 3 feeds by that age. don't bother with a bottle; she'll be able to drink out of a cup.

Start sleep training right now if you need to stop feeding to sleep. I started just before 6 months and baby was 9 months before he totally got it.

Here's what we did. It's gruelling, but you just have to stick with it and they outgrow their crutch.

I would say after about an hour, give up and let her feed to sleep for that nap. For us, it only took 3 days for him to fall asleep in his bed.

Also, good luck! I've done 2 keep in touch days at work, and my 10 MO was so unbothered by my absense. He literally did not care that I was gone (though I did get a big hug and very wet kiss on my return)

she will need milk (breastmilk or formula) as her main food until she turns 1
You can introduce either formula or breastmilk.
As for her needing you to sleep, babies adapt- if you disappeared tomorrow she wouldnt starve or never sleep again. It's a transition, probably much harder for us mums than the babies themselves..

You don't need to sleep train. Your mum will find her own way of settling your DD, and your DD will be much more amenable to going to sleep without a feed with someone who doesn't smell all lovely and milky.

Re the bottle - try it, my DS was 10 months when I went to work and he took formula from a bottle. DD (DC1) was 8 months, she had a morning breast feed, a feed when I got home, and one at bedtime. Plus some overnight but she was always a shit sleeper. She never took a bottle in her life but would drink some formula from a cup.

I'm going against everyone here.

At 9 months she doesn't need milk in the day. She will be fine with solids and water. She will also likely take breastmilk in a cup if she wants.

As a breastfed baby she can manage her own milk intake at that stage. You might find she has 2 much longer feeds to get all she wants / need in less feeds. She likely won't bother too much and find other comforts if you're not there.

When you wean work to make sure you get her up to 3 full meals before you go back.

This isn't right. Between 6-12 months they will naturally decrease their milk in favour of food.

They COULD get all they need from milk if other food is not available but don't NEED to have milk as their main food source.

If they drop below 150ml of formula they should have a multi vitamin as well

Thanks everyone. I'm just so worried she I super attached to me, which I love but it's making things harder. Should I start trying to feed her milk via a bottle or a cup once a day? I mean should my mum try feeding her if shes the one who will be looking after her?

Sorry didn't see your comments there, thankyou!

I'm sorry but this really isn't correct, according to the NHS at 9months they will only just be having 3 meals a day, if they are at all, and should still be having around 4 feeds a day if BF, or minimum 600ml formula. Vitamins recommended if baby takes less than 500ml of formula.

Baby will need a milk feed during the day at 9m. If this was gonna be a one-off day with Grandma it would be fine, but it sounds like this will be full time, and baby will 100% still need to be drinking milk during the day the majority of the time.

If you want to give her milk in a cup go for it. If you don't, dont :)

My DD refused all bottles but at 9/10 months would have the odd cup of full fat cows milk (didn't bother with formula as she was breastfed )

At 10 months I went away for a day and she was fine with just morning and bedtime feeds. She ate well for Daddy and slept happily too.

Work on a routine for sleep which have several sleep cues including a feed. Things like being in her cot / pram, curtains closed, special song etc.

Also feeding to sleep stopped working for my 2 at about 9 months so we sleep trained with controlled crying then.

Weaned two kids with dietician support. They were both well into 3 meals and 2 snacks by 9 months and dropped feeds by themselves.

Advice from our paediatric dietician so .... yeah ... guessing it was good advice.

@Twizbe the fact that you were weaning under a paediatric dietician (which isn't usual at all in the UK) suggests that your situation wasn't standard and there were other issues at play, which is why you received non-standard advice.

Guidelines are 3 meals by 9m and no snacks til 12m. Guidelines also say no cows milk til 12m.

You were presumably given this advice after consultations and investigations, it was presumably specialised medical advice tailored to your children's specific situations. It's therefore not appropriate advice for OP's child.

Thanks for all the advice everyone! I think I might try and get my mum to start feeding her a bottle during the day to see how she gets on with it.

Never heard no snacks before 12 months - everyone I've ever met has started snacks before 12 months including nursery.

Babies can have cows milk from 6 months (though not actually one of mine) on cereal. Cows milk is not able to replace formula until close to 12 months. However if a baby is breastfed they can have cows milk as a drink as their milk needs are covered by their breastfeeding.

Main thing is not to stress about it.

She will be fine and you will work out what is right for you. Guidelines are just suggestions and your baby doesn't know or care about them.

A 9 month old is so different to a 6 month old (just think back to how much she's changed since 3 months)

You'll all be fine :)

I'm in England and I got told off by my HV at the 10 month check for not providing snacks as well as meals.

In my experience (of course it all depends on the individual baby) there is no need to sleep train or for you to stop feeding to sleep and contact napping. My DD was a similar age when I went back to work and family looked after her. Instead of feeding to sleep, they gave a bottle of expressed breastmilk and then rocked her a bit to sleep or used a sling. It worked perfectly fine. On the days I was at home, I still fed to sleep and contact napped. Babies understand different care givers do things differently.

Yet another indication that most HVs don't know their arses from their elbows - NHS website says 3 meals at 10m, and 3 meals + 2 healthy snacks at 12. At 10m you'd expect mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks to be milk.

Yes you will need to wean her onto a bottle. At 9 months she will still be taking a significant volume of milk, and most won't manage to drink that much via a cup by then. Start now to give you plenty of time to get her used to it. You might be surprised, she might like it, and either way it will be okay, she will adjust.

I went back to work when DS was 7 months old. He was just on solids and water while I was at work because he refused to drink any milk. He made up for it with lots of extra night feeds.

It depends on your working hours as well. If you are away for 8-9 hours a day then she should be fine with solids and water (but be prepared for the cluster feeding when you get home), whereas if you work 12 hour shifts + a long commute then she will need milk while you are away.

it will be fine, my kids lay down on the mats when they were at nursery and just went to sleep. I was still pushing them around for naps when they were 18 months.

I would go out and see if your mum can get her to take a bottle now, if she knows you are around she will be more likely to refuse.

I have just gone back to work and my 9 month old is with my mum or my husband. He does fine without me to settle to sleep, they just find a different way to soothe him, either rocking or a walk on the pushchair. He won't take a bottle but will happily drink Aptamil follow on milk out of a sippy cup so that keeps him going. He does tend to have more feeds over night on the days I leave him but I'm only part time so we manage fine!

I think babies adapt so much quicker than us mums, I was so so sad to leave him the first couple of weeks but we are in the swing of it now and he's bonding so nicely with his Grannie, it's lovely to see! Grannies are a fab resource of knowledge and will cope just fine! The thought of it will be worse than actually doing it too. Just make the most of being home for the next couple of months ❤️