How do others cope?!

[Kat283]

Hi all,

Feeling a bit low so wanted to come on and get some views/feedback from others.

I just feel like I'm massively struggling at life at the minute. I feel like I'm drowning, and like a crap Mum.

I work full-time (as does my husband), so my nearly 6yo goes to breakfast club and after school club. My 2.5yo goes to nursery FT.

Both girls are clingy to me, and bedtimes are a battle as both want me to read to them/settle them. Most nights it is 8:30/9 onwards before they are asleep (and that's on a good night).

My husband is not very supportive. He focuses on himself a lot and I am left getting the girls ready in the mornings and evenings. I do anything related to them (food, clothes, etc).

He complains all the time about clutter around the house. It bothers me too but as I work FT and then spend most of my evenings getting the girls settled, then have to tackle the post-dinner kitchen tidy up etc. I don't really know when I'm meant to do everything else.

He plays golf most weekends, and for the last month it was both Saturdays and Sundays. So I am left with both girls all weekend. As much as I try to tidy, as soon as I've tidied one area, they've pulled out more stuff etc.

I feel like I can't even keep on top of doing basic stuff like spellings and reading with my eldest. Most mornings, I am late getting her to breakfast club because my youngest is having a tantrum and husband won't deal with it.

How do other people cope?! I feel like a wreck and just seems that everyone else is on top of everything. I constantly berate myself for not doing enough school stuff with my eldest, for the house not being tidy, for not having done enough washing, for not having done the weekly shop. I just find it all too much at the moment :-(

They cope by not having a pricktator of a H/additional child.

Get out OP, your life will become 10x easier and you deserve much better

Your marriage is over. Sorry to be blunt but it might help to realise this, and understand that the real question now is how to move on to the next stage of your life.

You have tried talking to him, his only answer is that he might do more if you had sex with him more often. He's a lost cause.

See a proper solicitor and do not tell him anything. Ducks in a row time.

I agree that your husband is awful; no wonder you don’t want to be affectionate with him when he does absolutely nothing to help with running the house or bringing up your children.

Start making your exit plan. Don’t let his threats derail you. Make an appointment with a good family lawyer to see where you stand. Good luck.

Thank you everyone for commenting.

I think I know I need to get out. It’s just knowing where to start, and the timing.

DH and I both work FT, he plays golf every other Saturday morning for around 4.5 hours too.

1. He bloody well pulls his weight around the house
2. I also get downtime to go to Yoga and a 4 hour hair appointment every 6 weeks or so.
3. I do NOT berate myself for the things which I cannot control, Yes DS(6) should do more reading at home, yes I hate that DS(2) is in FT childcare 8-5:30, but needs must. and we make sure Saturday afternoons and Sundays are spent all together, DH as much on board for this as I am

From your posts, your job, you ability nor and your daughters are the problem

I think the best way to start is just getting information. You don't need to act yet. Just gather information. See a solicitor, see if you'd be eligible for any kind of assistance, get all the financial info together. Then you can figure out the next step.

The timing should be sooner rather than later for your mental health and your childrens happiness

100% this.

No offence OP, but your husband sounds like a selfish dick.