She will never let me brush or brush teeth herself 3 year old

[Lottiebugz22]

I'm so concerned about my 3 year olds teeth. She refuses to brush her teeth. I've tried songs, choosing her toothpaste, singing, bribery. Everything you can think of. She just hates the whole sensation. The thing is I can't even hold her to brush them and I'd have to physically pin her down and risk hurting her. I don't know what to do anymore I'm so worried!

Ah I'm sorry to hear that @lindaellen. I had overcrowding in my mouth and had five extractions, along with extensive brace work for about 10 years during my childhood. Despite all that I've never had a dental phobia and neither do my kids. I've never had a cavity or a filling and I'm in my thirties. Children need to be informed, this has nothing to do with scaring them. I'm sorry you were failed.

Completely agree that it just had to happen, and explain why.

Sometimes we had to pin DS down when he was 3, but as he is nearly 4 he now does it fine only having a proper whinge when he's in a grump but then the threat of "ok come here & I'll brush them for you" sends him into "ok I'll do it". Before pinning down I'd do "DS I'm going to count to 5 & hopefully you'll choose to brush then yourself" count up & after a couple of times he never let it go past 3. Then he gets "well done on making that choice, thank you"

Does she have sensory issues? If so an electric toothbrush is likely to make it worse. But you can get a sensory toothbrush which is quicker to use as it brushes several teeth at once. This is useful for children with autism etc who genuinely struggle with the sensation as you don't need to brush for as long.

Try a reward chart like a sticker chart (rewarding doing it herself/doing it without a fight) and after a certain number of days completed she gets a toy.

When DS2 went through a refusing stage I would do it for him and aim for a different quarter of his mouth each day so that at least one part was getting a good brush each time.

I’m a full on gentle parents and we do games, playing dentist, looking a photo of decayed teeth, cleaning toys teeth (try laminating some), books and them if it doesn’t work just swaddle them and do it.

We have a game where she has to find all the germs hiding in her mouth and brush them away. The germs have specific voices and they'll hide at the back, on her front teeth, etc and she has to brush them all away. Then we have to do a final sweep to make sure there are none left (and she then does the germ voices!)

Teeth are def a non-negotiable but much nicer if you can make it stress-free.

Have you tried a kiddies electric toothbrush? We've had some success with this lately. It's really hard though, my 2yo fights me on it every time but the electric toothbrush is a novelty at the moment!

This. My took a good year or more of doing this day and night and now she will mainly do our with out fuss. You do have to persist and I absolutely hated it. Unfortunately not something that is negotiable.