I grew up in a family that was very mentally damaging and insular. Having anyone do anything for me was such a massive issue and full of drama and you were made to literally grovel or be overly thankful until the end of your days. As a result I find it very hard to rely on anyone and strive to be as independent as possible. I know this is my issue and I am working to overcome this. My DH is wonderfully supportive.
My DD is due very soon. My DS is currently 2.
My sister has said she will take DS during childbirth. Daytime arrangement seems fine, they will take him back to hers and he will stay there. They have a DS of their own the same age and they do see each other about once a month so this seems like a perfect option.
I am really stressing about going into labour at night. Sister has said she will come and expect us to wake DS up even at 2am in the morning and take him back to hers. I have said I’d rather this not happen as he will be very confused and upset and will definitely not settle at theirs. I said she or her partner could come to ours, sleep here until morning and then take him, but she refuses to do this.
I could just about accept this as I understand it’s a one off, it’s not the end of the world and I may be being a little over protective. But now she has said she and her partner will then be going to work in the day and leaving both kids with her mother in law to look after. My DS does not know her mother in law at all. I am extremely uncomfortable with this.
I have an alternative option which is a relatively new friend we see once a week at a toddler group. She is a wonderful person, and has said she has no issue coming to look after DS. Day or night, she said to call her and she would come and stay at our house with DS.
But I am finding I have a massive mental block with this. To need to rely on someone with such an important task. I don’t want to inconvenience my friend. It’s like I have some horrendous guilt at someone doing such a big favour for me? It’s at the point where I am genuinely considering just telling my DH to stay at home and I’ll just go give birth alone. I know this tends to be habit of mine, I always tend to martyr myself rather than inconvenience or rely on anyone else.
Im just stressing out about this so much and I know I need to relax and focus on labour.
Please can someone talk some sense into me