He’s at his first day of nursery and I’m not ok

[Ohtheaudacity]

DS12months has his first day of nursery today. He’ll be doing 2 days a week, 9-4. I don’t go back to work until next week but started him a week early in case of any problems on his first day. I feel lost without him. He was poorly as a baby and the only time I’ve ever left him was when he was in PICU. Leaving him makes me panicky but I can’t be that clingy mum forever, I have to let him go and to back to work (thankfully only 2 days a week, he’s with me the rest of the time.) I know he’ll be ok, but I’m not. God the guilt is awful!

Aw OP. Mine is starting at the end of this month. He’s actually going to be fine , he’s so laidback he’d happily go off with the postman, but I’m going to be bereft! (At first. I know it’s going to become a new normal and it’ll all be ok)

please try and just think how lucky you are though, it’s 2 days a week, you’ll have him back all those other days. Mine will have to go for 4 days, 8-6! But hoping to drop it down to 3 days on a couple of months. he’s only 9 months. But we have no choice, unfortunately. He’s just my best buddy, such a little dude.

did you come back home after dropping him off? My friend has warmed me against doing that, says to plan something out and about until it’s pick up time. Not to just go home and feel empty and sad at the sight of all their toys out etc!

think of how his little face will light up when he sees you later!

Make the most of your free time. Go for a shop, pictures, coffee, do some cleaning.
Really, try to make the most of you free time.

I remember this day. It does get easier, honest!

Go and do something, keep busy. Is there anything you’ve been longing to do but couldn’t because you had him with you? Do that!

You’ve just reminded me to book in for a pedicure while DS does his settling day 😆

Hopefully your child will love it. Both mine went - I returned to work when my first was five months. I gave up work, partly for health reasons, when pregnant with my second (also daycare for two was more than what I'd make). But I kept them both in for a couple days a week. This kept me sane and they both benefited hugely from being with other kids. It also made the transition to school easy.
Hang in there! It will be better when you return to work and are occupied yourself.

thanks everyone for being so kind x

I know I’m very lucky he only had to do 2 relatively short days. He has had 3 settling in sessions and loved them, he didn’t bat an eyelid when I dropped him off this morning so I’m sure he’ll be fine. I have come home but I’m just about to go to the hairdresser - first time in over a year!

He will be fine and so will you, just keep yourself busy!
but if you think you’ll ever stop worrying you won’t. My uni child hasn’t contacted me all weekend ( she’s usually no the phone at least once a day!) I’ve felt sick with worry all morning, she’s just got in touch and has had a lovely post exam weekend. Of course I knew that all along, but you can’t help but worry

Oh bless you. It’s understandable to be nervous/feel weird being away from your baby for the first time. He’ll be having a fab time though! I must say I worked in childcare for years and I still to this day miss some children I looked after and think about them/hope they’re doing well at school. He will miss you but he’ll soon love all his nursery workers who look after him and all his new little friends. And it will do him good to get to know and experience new people and settings. It will also let you recharge and be a better mum to him when you’re together!

Also, if you’re a bit stressed you can phone up! It’s quite common for parents to ring at lunchtime when their child is new, just for a bit of comfort/to hear everything’s ok.

This was me a year ago! I cried the whole way home, but I tried spending the time doing things i had been desperate to do alone for the last year - a mooch around the shops, going for a coffee or got my nails done. It helped pass the time!

My DD took a long time to settle with crying at the door, but it wasnt because she didnt like being in nursery, its because she didnt like leaving me - this was all forgotten within minutes.

She is now two and she stands impatiently hopping at the door to run in every morning!

Also yes to calling in! A good nursery will be diplomatic in reassuring you, even if baby is taking time to settle in.

I completely understand. I had a very poorly DS2 and it took me a while too. Now he’s 4 I have to say leaving him etc doesn’t bother me, but it really did. 12mths is really early days, be kind to yourself it might just take a while for emotions to settle down xx

Aw I feel you OP. I remember that feeling only too well. I think the the starting them before you go to work is so much more for the parents than the child! Stay busy, and it does get easier.

Aww I cried all the way home the first time.

Hang in there. It gets easier x x