Sleep deprivation is really hurting me

[lionz]

I know I chose to be a mum and I’m the luckiest woman in the world to have 5mo DS this isn’t me saying I’m not. I know babies don’t really sleep

but DS is now sleeping the worst he ever has - he was a better newborn sleeper!

he’s not wanting milk more, due to teething he’s actually went down on his milk (plenty of wet nappies and still taking a good amount but he used to always be hungry so just isn’t now!)

Hes waking for settling. And when it gets to the 3rd time in a night I give up and get him in with us and safely (following lullaby trust) co sleep with him from about 2/3am

I want my bed back I don’t want to always go sleep and everyone says to teach him to self settle but he’s still quite young in my
Opinon? Can he even do that yet?

if so please drop any tips. I really struggle settling him to sleep

im so exhausted I cried to my
mum today. He only wants me not DH in the night. Dh even tries tp give him the one bottle he has in the night and he won’t take it he only will for me

I’m lucky he wants his mummy so mych and adores me I adore him, it’s just hard when I can’t do anything at night or have an extra hour or so because he really only wants me

Have you tried removing yourself from the situation? I.e. sleeping in another room/downstairs for the night? Don't let him see you if he wakes, just let your DH deal with him.

You may find once he realises he can't have you, he stops waking through the night at all soon after. 5MO's are more than capable of you through the night without a feed, a lot is just habit by this age. Like you say, he wants his mum (and he knows he can have you). But you need to think of your own health and wellbeing too.

The answer is staring you in the face. You have a DH. You need his help. Your DC will settle with him when he realises he doesn't have a choice.

You need rest and need to lean on DH to do 50% of the parenting. Start as you mean to go on and don't make yourself a martyr.

Babies sleep changes around 3/4 months old as they get 4 stages of sleep (a bit more like adults). Most people refer to this phase as the 4 month sleep regression, it doesn't affect all babies but those that it does affect seem to go through a really bad period of sleep.
My little girl did and it felt like it went on for ages, she was waking every hour and co-sleeping helped. By 6 months her sleep had gotten better but it was never quite like it was before she hit 4 months.
She's 10 months now and some nights we have 1 wake up, others 3/4.
If you're not breastfeeding then see if your DH can help with some of the night settling or keep co-sleeping for now if you're ok with it and it should pass soon.

He’s not too young to learn to self settle. Loads of people sleep train after the 4-month sleep regression. My DC3 started sleeping through at 5 months, 7:15pm to 5:45am (would love a bit later, but I’ll count my blessings!). We used the Ferber approach and it took about 3 days for him to sleep through. Best decision ever. I became a totally functional human being again!

(Also, he was exclusively BF. But nothing stops a BF baby from sleep training! I gave him a good feed before bed, and a good feed in the morning when it was time for him to wake up. Any other wakes during the night, my DH would deal with. At first, DS protested a bit (about 20-30 minutes of his “annoyed” cry) but my DH kept going in to soothe him, and after a couple of nights, DS was fine and didn’t cry at all. Lack of might feeds did not set him back at all. He upped his milk intake during the day, and kept gaining weight along his set growth curve.)

If he's teething then it will pass.

It's probably also a developmental phase that you have to ride out. Mine went through one from 6-8 months (yes, two months straight of multiple wakeups) where he was up AT LEAST half a dozen times every night. He was also teething.

At the time he was fed to sleep, so it was massively draining. Eventually the feeding seemed to stimulate him, because it seemed that as time passed he was up more and more each night.

It did eventually pass. I was also sleep training to break his feed to sleep habit, and this helped massively. It's a lot of hard work for both of us, but it's absolutely worth it (we used controlled crying). It's not a quick fix, but he's now at a stage where I can put him in bed and leave the room, and he falls asleep happily.

5 months isn't too young to begin thinking about sleep training. I really would recommend doing it - it is life-changing.

Im a mum of 3, 10,8 and 4. 2 boys one girl. This is typical mummyhood for a boy mum, yes it is very full on until they turn 7-8 and they are all about daddy…. mummy when they need a hug or food… enjoy every minute while it lasts.
the sleeping and feeding is a nightmare. Is there times DH can help during the day let you get freshed up relaxed and a good afternoon sleep or he could get up with DS and let you sleep in? Sleep deprived can make you feel like you are loosing it (Been there, still there youngest is nonverbal and sleeps 3-4 hours a day,I’m sadly used to it now, but I really really wasn’t for the first 3 years!)
best advice I can give you is when DS sleeps, take a nap to, house work can and will wait, that thing you really wanted 5 mins to do, can wait. It’s hard sometimes to make these things wait but I’m the long run you will feel better and you will still have managed to get other things done. Ask DH when he can to take the mornings over once or twice a week, you are not missing out, you see these little moments all week. (Speaking from experience, as I did not want to sleep I wanted to get shit done, wrong choice in long run)
when u can get the time DH, mum or whoever is in that is close ask them to sit with baby and get a proper relaxing bath not just a wash and freshen but hot bath lush bath bomb, nice music and chill take that moment for you. On the long run these little things make u feel human! Xx

Agree with those that have said it’s probably the 4/5 month sleep regression, this happened with both of ours, I read they are more aware and now have to learn to get themselves back to sleep.
They can become dependent on any sleep crutches created - like a top up of milk or you rocking them to sleep etc. It’s really tough but they should hopefully get through it in a few weeks, there are some ways you can help like a bedtime routine.
www.healthline.com/health/parenting/4-month-sleep-regression#tips-for-managing-sleep-regression

One of my sons in particular was like that but it eventually sorted itself out by about 18-20 months. It's part of the mums job description and doesn't last forever, enjoy all of the stages, they fly past unfortunately.

Hi everyone thank you for all your messages I read them before the bedtime routine!

only tonight instead of rocking to sleep I got him sleepy in my arms and then put him in his snuz pod

After 10-15 mins he fell asleep (with help of the dummy) and I don’t know if it’s a fluke but I genuinely can’t believe he fell asleep without his nose on my chest and holding on tightly to me

I don’t know why I’ve been so nervous to slepe train I think I’ll definitely look it up because it will save our nights a bit by the sound of it :)

and also DH has been amazing he will take him when he’s off work as soon as he wakes so I can try catch up on sleep! I normally get to grab 30-60mins but I’ve fell into the habit of struggling to sleep if I can’t check on the baby being next to me

so we’ve said we’ll work on that too because he is giving me the opportunity to rest im just starting to get slight anxiety about not looking after our baby 24/7

I'm lazy. I'd go for the easiest option that worked at the time and for us that's always been co-sleeping. Try to make it as comfy as possible, buy another bed if needs be, but if everyone is sleeping it doesn't matter where.