Overreacting or is this concerning ?

[Bobbylong1988]

Good morning ,
I just would like to hear some input about something , please understand I’m trying hard to see all sites .

my 6 year old is doing karate and she is doing alright , recently about 2/3 months another older trainer entered a lady in her 50s .
from the start she seemed to have focused on my child which I obviously found great since she was basically offering a one to one .

over last weeks there was a hugging moment which they not allowed to do , my child likes this person so she was allowed to set her own boundaries . Then the trainer women bought my child sweets , she been actively trying to engage with me . During the lesson she watches my child a lot , focuses on her and interacts with her a lot .

then there was incident where she offered to train my child privately for free without letting the company know .

also she has come out of the lesson just to say bye to my child when there really wasn’t a need .

I personally don’t like how much she focuses on my child , she might have just good intentions on helping and she cares but it just gives me a weird vibe .

how would you guys feel ? I’m prone to overreacting and seeing the worst so I’m aware that I might be misjudging this .

any input is welcome :)

It could be entirely innocent, with just an experienced trainer who has spotted a possible talent. It also might not be.
I don't ignore 'hinky' feelings and I would be very, very careful going forward. If you don't like it however, tell her and see what she says.

Hard to know. But I do think instinct should be listened to - not to overreact and take any drastic action, but to maybe have a quiet word with the trainer that you've noticed she pays your child more attention than others and are wondering why.

Feels odd and inappropriate to me. I would not overreact but keep a very watchful eye.

Thank you guys , it helps to hear that I’m indeed not completely crazy . I will continue to keep sharp eyes on it , luckily I always stay for her lesson so there is not much danger for her to do anything without me knowing .

My alarm bells are ringing louder than Big Ben’s at this.

She sounds like she is trying to groom your DD, the sweets, extra attention in lessons, offers of free lessons. Individually these might raise an eyebrow, but together it’s a major red flag.

I'd be concerned.

Not necessarily because she has bad intentions.

But because no coach should be favouring children in sport at grassroots level. It's neither good for the child singled out or the others.

But it's not unusual for coaches to offer free private tutoring away from a club for children they feel have potential.

That’s what I feel like , I really want to see it as innocent and just her wanting to help but i was this morning at the point where I considered moving her away from this group .
feel torn since I haven’t verbalised anything yet , not sure if I should talk to the owner ( who also trains ) . Luckily she is never alone with my child so there nothing she can do , after the hugging incident she was told off by the owner too .

so yeah im
mentally feel all over the place .

You are aware, which is important. I wouldn’t take DD out of the class as you are present so she is not in any immediate danger.

It might be innocent, but you are right to be on guard, if she has an ulterior motive then she will try to befriend you first.

I’m going to see how the next weekend goes , considering having a chat with the company owner /trainer . Just letting him know about the concerns , really don’t want to ruin anyones life , also will start to gently remind my kid to keep her distance and see if I can redirect her .

thank you for the advice everyone

Op, just to add no sports teacher should be offering sweets to children. I would put a stop to that easily.

glad you have your eyes open but abuse/grooming/inappropriate behaviour does happen when others are around, it’s a tool to communicate to the child that this behaviour is ok (cos look mum is just there).

That’s a very good point , the lady did give the sweets to me for my child . I think I was naive at the beginning and didn’t really see what was happening . Should of catched onto it earlier really