Adoption - is it too late?

[Jennarator]

Not sure if I have posted this in the correct section.
I’ve been with DH 10 yrs and we’ve had 4 miscarriages. We are now 41 & 47 and are considering adoption.
I don’t know anyone who’s adopted and I’m wondering if we are too old and will be turned down.
Thoughts or advice?

A good friend of mine adopted at 45 and again at 47 (brother and sister). I don't think there's an upper age limit, although obviously within reason as you'll need to be in decent health and able to look after a young child. But your ages shouldn't be an issue.

I think it depends on where you are and what sort of agency you contact. Where we were living when we were considering it, our county council adoption service wouldn’t let you adopt over 40 - but that was over ten years ago, and I am sure things will have changed since then. I know that even at the time it was different in other areas, and with charitable adoption agencies.

Good luck.

I was 38 for the first adoption and 42 for the second, so DH must have been 43 and 47. That was the age that we adopted though, it took a while to be assessed and for the right child to come up so we were younger when we started. You can always ask, there might be adoption information evenings or something to get more information.

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses :( Plently of women in their 40s have kids, so I don't think you're too old at all.

All the best x

It might depend on the rules where you live. Where I am it would be too old for a baby, but maybe not an older child. Look up the rules or make a phone call and you'll know for sure.

I was 43 when I adopted a 1 year old. I was approved again 4 years later (I must have been mad!) but decided (sensibly) not to go through with it
Personally I wouldn't recommend adoption to anyone. The support is just not there. I have had battles with the LA, education, health, camhs
There are pockets of good practice and some good research but for the main it is abysmal. My DC had 7 moves in their first year which has had a lasting impact in terms of attachment, trauma and development. You can do your best but cannot change the lasting damage done by those first months

It takes a while to get through the adoption process so if you are seriously considering it, I wouldn't hang about!

You might want to have a look at the adoption board, lots of experience and advice there:

Adoption board

Lots of adopters are older when they adopt, adopting in your 40’s wouldn’t be unusual at all in the adoption world. The adoption support group I’m in ranges from 27-52, with the 52 year old only starting their journey four years ago.

We do have an adoption board on here in becoming parents.

@Jennarator
In our area, when I looked into adoption I was told that they wouldn't permit an age gap of more than 40 years between the child and the adult. So if 41 youngest could adopt would be 1yo and if 45 youngest would be 5yo.

I’m 47 and Hubble is 48, we are adopting a 5 and 3 year old this month… age was never an issue for the assessment process. As long as you are healthy and fit you’ll be fine.