Don’t know what I’m doing wrong, can’t do this

[Geordielass1987]

good evening, I hope you’ve all had a lovely bank hol.
ive contemplated writing this post for so long but I’m desperate now, I have a 4 year old daughter and a 7 month old baby girl. 4 year old has had her time of tantrums and colic as a baby and sleepless nights and all that, got through that absolutely fine.

my 7 month old, I have never met a child so miserable. I want to take her to the hospital for a full body check because something must be wrong for her to be so unhappy and moany 24/7. Every sleep is a contact sleep I can’t put her down, she’s in bed with me at night my husband is in the spare room. I miss him and our relationship. He works a lot but if he’s home he’s helping, house work cooking whatever he really is good. Not selfish at all I know I’m lucky. My baby cries all day and all night, suspected cmpa as a newborn so she’s still on the appropriate formula for that. I use mam bottles, I don’t think it’s colic. She’s never happy and I don’t know what to do anymore. My heart is so heavy I have a very lucky life I have no other worries really but she moans from the minute she wakes up til she eventually admits defeat and sleeps. Sorry I know this is long but I have no idea what to do now, thank you for reading.

DD’s health visitor referred us directly to the dietician so if your GP isn’t helpful, try talking to the HV.

The tins says this both my girls paediatrician and paediatric dietitian both say it isn’t suitable but it isn’t illegal to sell it so it can be marketed that way. I thought the same and gave it to DD2. Please go back to your GP with a list of your concerns and ask for a referral to at least a paediatric dietitian. I found them much more helpful than paediatrician who was dismissive of allergies. DD1 wasn’t diagnosed with CMPA until she was 11 month and things became much easier over night. DD2 had CMPA but her soya allergy is actually much worse.

Feel free to PM me if it’s helpful.

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas @INeedNewShoes please dont worry about what you think I don’t want to hear, I’ve come here because I’m desperate and I am so grateful for everyone’s advice. I can’t believe how evil I’ve been to think she is just a miserable baby when she could actually be in pain. I won’t bother with the GP it’s so stressful, I Will contact a private dietitian (children/baby) today and get her seen asap. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been. Do you have any recommendations of a hypoallergenic formula I can buy this morning? Thank you so much, I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been to what’s infront of me.

OP, stop beating yourself up! Seriously!

Your GP has let you down.

You’re a long way from evil. It’s very clear to me that you want to help your DD.

I think it’s formulas like neocate and nutramigen that are hypoallergenic. They used to be prescription only but I’ve had a quick Google and it looks like you can buy them. Even so, I’d definitely want medical advice asap once the long weekend is over before making a permanent switch to a new formula.

(I didn’t use either of these products as I was lucky to be able to breastfeed once I realised DD was allergic to dairy but a good friend used them with her DS. I remembered her saying that the Nutrimagen tastes very odd so it might take a bit of getting used to).

So sorry you're going through this, I had the same with my youngest. The only comfort I can offer is that he grew out of it once he was on the move, and became the loveliest, easy going toddler! He continued to have tummy ache a lot though and still has IBS as an adult, I'm convinced he had constant wind and once he was mobile it helped a lot. Hang in there, I hope someone else can give some useful advice.

Similac is meant to be very good for allergies, and Neocate.

You need to see a dietician and stop using the Wysoy when you are able to.

I work on an infants ward in a hospital and we often see babies admitted with potential CMPA and they are seen by Paediatricians and Dieticians and Wysoy is never suggested as an option. It’s either Nutramigen (not used as much anymore), Neocate, Apramil Peti or Similac.

My son also had a dairy allergy and even though much lesser so, he still couldn’t tolerate Soya.

He used to cry and cry and cry and cry 24/7, it was just unbearable.

Thankfully his CMPA was suggested at 9 weeks old and steps started being taken then. God knows how you’ve coped for 7 months.

Thank you all so much. I think because when I changed to the wysoy and the rash stopped and the swelling went the visible allergy went I thought I had sorted it and that she was just a higher needs baby and a lot harder than my first. I do worry that it still isn’t an allergy as when being held she is fine but I guess a mothers comfort can fix and hide a lot. I could cry that she has potentially been in pain and I’ve been moaning about her being miserable. I will go to the pharmacy this morning and ask what they’ve got out of the suggestions on here, I know you can buy aptamil pepti it’s £26 a tub but she wouldn’t take that at all, but I will try whatever. How would you suggest giving the new formula? A straight swap? Gradually? I have emailed the secretary of a private paediatrician and asked for an appointment asap.

You will need an NHS dietitian because you will probably need prescription formula. Its cost £50 a tin so it’s not sustainable to buy.

DD1 wasn’t diagnosed until 11 months and was happy with food she just came off formula and DD2 was bf. The CMPA Facebook is good. Ask for advice there.

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas thank you, I will buy what I can today I know it’s pricey but I can’t continue giving her something which could be causing all this it feels so wrong. I will buy a few tins, keep the receipts. Speak to someone privately just for ease especially with the weekend and then if needs be go to my GP with the evidence and see what they say.

Hi OP! This sounds really tough I'm sorry! I also have a 7 month old, he's very good overall but goes through fussy periods that last 4-7 days at time and its so difficult when he's going through it. I can just imagine how stressful things are for you.

I don't have a lot of advice to offer but I do think sleep training would make your life a bit easier and I think its best to do it at this age rather than later. I contact napped for every nap since my baby was 8 weeks old and once I sleep trained and was able to put him in his cot for naps it was a total game changer! Having those 2.5-3 hours to yourself to do whatever you need makes all the difference.

My Ds was a quite like this. He cried and vomitted pretty much non stop for the first 3 months, then seemed pretty miserable for another 3 months and very serious and solemn for another 12 months. He's now 15 and pretty much delightful. He can still be withdrawn in a teenagery way, but is never, ever whingy or whiney.

My 3 Dcs were all horrendous as babies. On reflection, I'm pretty sure they all had intolerances. My eldest is 17 and when she was a baby there was much less info around about this topic. The light only really dawned for me when my youngest turned out to have a life threatening allergy and I started doing lots of research - the all over rashes, the vomiting, the distress, the eczema, the refusal to eat milk based products until around 12 months.

So babyhood was pretty tough. But they have all been bloody brilliant since and have (so far) negotiated teenhood fantastically without any stroppiness. What I suppose I'm trying to say is parenting can be a bit swings and roundabouts. At the moment, you're having a really tough time. But I promise you it will pass. You might sail through the terrible twos or parenting teens when others you know will be having a nightmare. This may well be the hardest part. Just hang on in there. It won't last forever.

Just a heads up if you swap before seeing a HCP - sometimes babies can struggle to adjust to the taste of the new formula, I think it’s particularly disgusting unfortunately. It does smell and can turn their poos a horrible green colour. Someone suggested putted vanilla in the bottles to help with the flavour. You can do a gradual switch as well, start the bottles at 80% old formula, 20% new formula, then reduce down the amount of old formula and increase the new as long as your baby will take it. This obviously takes longer but some babies need time to adjust to the different taste. Just depends on how fussy they are.