How can I help my son

[Lovelycupofcoffee]

So last night was trying to talk to my teenage son which is very hard at the best of times. He mentioned he’d been to the doctors and had been given a really low dose of anti depressants. I’m really upset as I feel like I’ve let him down. I had no idea he was feeling like this . He works / runs a little football club and looks like he’s ok. I have noticed that he has put on a bit of weight so he was planning on joining the gym . He always tells me he’s ok but obviously that’s not the case . How can I help if he doesn’t talk to me ?

OP I'm sorry your son feels this way. The fact he has been to the doctors for help is a very positive step forward. This means he wants the help. Sometimes children (even older ones) struggle to talk to parents, maybe he didn't want to worry you? Depression can be a very silent illness and sometimes hard to spot. Painting a smile and saying I'm ok is very common. Just tell him your there to support him and if he needs to talk then your there. Tell him to take a break when needed and to continue seeking the support he needs. There are so many people suffering silently or don't know how to get support so the fact your son has seen this and sought help is very positive. Big hugs sent your way.

Instead of feeling bad about this I’d see it as really positive he felt able to share with you how he’s feeling and went to get antidepressants- so many boys / men don’t talk about their feelings so for him to share that is amazing. My dh has severe long term depression and takes 30mg citalopram long term and has found it brilliant, it’s meant the difference between him being able to work or not - and to actually enjoy things. Keep talking to him and let him know you’re there for him. That’s all you can do.

The roman kemp documentary “our silent emergency” which was on iPlayer was well worth a watch if it’s still there.

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p098hsv6

I think you're doing a fab job if he went to get help himself 🙂 that is amazing! Don't forget that and remind him of that

Now he has opened up to you, you can gently talk to him and guide him.

Best of luck to both of you!!

Just so you understand better, I think he's a bit introverted like me and it took me a while to open up to DH when I had my depression. But I did go to the doctor. It was easier to talk to a stranger 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks for the feedback it’s very appreciated. He’s a good lad and I just want the best for him. I will continue to lurk in the background and always let him know I’m here if he needs me . I think he didn’t tell me as he thought I had enough on my plate . Work us a bit tough etc etc .

I know you're his mum, but tbh it sounds like he doesn't need your help on this. He felt like shit, he realised he needs help, he got help. Hovering and fussing is not likely to go down well at this point, he's showing you he's well on the way to independent adulthood and can manage these situations on his own.