How well did your baby settle at nursery?

[Cafeaulait27]

Our baby will be going to nursery 2 days a week from 1 year old later in the year. The nursery do a week of settling in sessions beforehand, but I’m not sure exactly how each day will look for these yet.

I’m a bit apprehensive about sending him so wondered how your babies settled in at nursery? I know it must vary depending on the baby and nursery but would be good to hear some experiences ☺️ Thanks

Mine didn't settle but luckily after 6 months work cut my days and I didn't need to send him anymore.

He was as happy as Larry from day one. I was worried that he actually preferred nursery to being at home for a while 🙈😂

DD had about two weeks of crying on drop-off but being okay through day, then one day she just went in and didn't even look back and that was that!

Mine settled very well at that age - after a few taster sessions with me present, we did half-days at first - I would drop him off at 12pm just as they set up lunch, it was a good distraction for him to not focus on me leaving. Then we moved to full days.
Our nursery is quite good, they cuddle and comfort children and most settle quickly I think.

Omg same!! They have so much fun at nursery!

@Scarecrowrowboat aw I’m sorry your little one didn’t settle, how old was he when he went? Do you think it was the nursery or just his personality? I am worried about him not settling as I need to work, and it’ll be really hard to leave him if he’s not happy.

@Hugasauras that’s great that your babe settled after a few weeks. How was he with the settling in sessions? I’m scared to leave him the first time 🫣 how old was he at the time?

@7Worfs @Frenchyfrog that’s great! Hoping for that ☺️

He was 13 months and I think a little of both. We had little choice with which nursery as we needed a 7am start and it was near impossible to find CM or other nursery offering nearby. They were nice and it was v small nursery but he just didn't like being left. He takes a long time to get used to new things even now. I think he would have been better with a CM if we could have found one or a nanny if we could have afforded.

@Scarecrowrowboat that sounds very hard, but sounds like you have a lovely little boy, and you did what was best for him. I don’t know where to start with a CM, so hard to find the right one and nanny sounds really complicated and expensive. I hope the nursery thing will be ok, I really want him to love it but he does seem to be taking on my shyness and sometimes gets upset or goes quiet at baby classes etc, I hope it’s not my anxiety rubbing off onto him as I’m really trying to not let that happen and get him involved in things but also want him to be happy!

DD1 was like a screaming limpet that had to be peeled off me from 9-18 months. DH tried once but because she’s such a daddy’s girl she screamed to the point of vomiting 😂

DD2 is 9mo, been at nursery for about a month and launches herself off me to get to the fun toys, then cheerily waves goodbye.

They both started at the same age, same nursery, one day a week (grandparents other four days), even the same keyworker in the baby room for both. I swear it’s just pot luck and baby’s personality.

@Timeturnerplease that must’ve been so hard, I’m not sure how I’ll cope if that happens but I have to work. Did she settle after you left each day? your dd2 sounds like mu dream scenario ☺️

Mine took a few months - I think that was mainly because she was off so much with sickness at the start so didn't get into a routine. After that she had quite a while where she was fine about going but never seemed super happy in the pictures. She's been there almost a year now though and loves it - marches in without a backward glance and is quite upset if she can't go for any reason.

My DD started at 11 months, 3 morning a week, not going to lie, it was tough. She was so upset and they called my to pick her up a few times in the early days because they couldn’t settle her. I was so worried because it seemed to really change her personality outside of nursery as well, she all of a sudden because absolutely terrified of strangers and would cry if anyone looked at her. I was so emotional and thought I had traumatised her forever! However it quite quickly got easier and easier. She still cried every
morning for 2 months but would be fine the second the door closed. And now 8
months in she absolutely loves it. She gets so excited when we get to the door and I love seeing all the pictures of her with her wee friends. I have no regrets or guilt!

@Cafeaulait27 Yes, she did settle after I left - the nursery were great and sent Tapestry updates every morning to show she was fine. I’m a primary teacher so I know the littles usually settle when parents are gone, but it’s hard to apply that to your own child!

She did it at every separation (including when going to her grandparents, who she adores) until 18mo, when she suddenly stopped and skipped off happily. Now she’s the child at preschool who leads the criers in by the hand! Not the first clue what effected this change aside from maturity maybe?

Honestly, it seems like a long phase but it’s really not in hindsight!

Mine went at 11 months. It was during the pandemic so hand over was not ideal. Was supposed to do 3 days a week. One of the first sessions he was terribly sad and when I picked him up he was making a funny wheezing, hiccuping noise, which the staff member referred to as ‘that noise he always makes’. I’d never heard it before - he was clearly exhausted from crying. I changed my hours at work so he only went one day, which meant he took ages to get used to it. After about 8 months he seemed to enjoy it but now at 2yrs old he still tells me he doesn’t like nursery although he has a good time most times he’s there and sometimes seems to want to stay longer when I pick him up. I still feel guilty for the way he began nursery. Now I’m less bothered about it if he doesn’t love it. I know he can handle it, but looking back I think it was pure cruelty to put him through that at 1 yr old. Everyone says ‘it’s great - they love it’ mine certainly didn’t and many really don’t. It would have come totally out of the blue to him and he’d had barely any socialisation or much exposure to other people due to being a firstborn and a pandemic baby. When I pick him up now, there is a girl who is crying every time I see her. The hype that nursery is this great thing and not simply a necessity or convenience is something we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better IMO.

Both of ours loved it from the start, they were both full-time from about ten months. Dc1 had the odd wobble at drop off but calmed instantly (we'd get a wave from the window on our way out). Dc2 was a lockdown baby, very sociable from the off and DESPERATE to be out in the world so she was in her element from day 1.

I think two days a week can be a bit trickier than full-time so just brace yourself for that but I'm sure it'll be fine.

What surprised me was how quickly nursery became an extension of our family and how it very quickly didn't feel like we were leaving them with strangers.

Mine both went FT from 5 months and used to practically launch themselves out of my arms into the daycare workers arms.

DS1 in particular, was so attached to his carer that her name was his first word!

In my experience, the younger they go, the easier the transition, but accept that it's later in the Uk as you have longer maternity leave.

My boys are 10 & 8 now and I'm still in touch with their helpers.

Sounds like it’s quite a mixed bag! Really nice to hear some loved it straight away. I really hope he likes it, not sure whether to explore CMs too just in case.

My little one loved it. She settled in quite quickly. She went through a period of crying when I dropped her off but I kept watch and the second she turned away after I left she stopped.

in my experience, from 1yo too, it was exactly what she needed to keep her busy. I just couldn’t teach her and stimulate her like nursery does. Also it has done wonders for her eating. She has a very varied diet.

Thank you @CantStartaFireWithoutaSpark that’s reassuring.

I am quite an anxious person and it’s playing on my mind as he’s a little quieter than some other babies at groups we go to and sometimes gets upset if they are loud. We were at a class today and he was a little unsure at first, but soon settled into it. I hope he’ll manage ok! Really helpful to hear your experiences.

im not keen on a CM as I feel like the older children they look after would just get all the attention (I’m sure not all CM are like that but I know some are) and also ratios - the nursery we are looking at is 1:2 but a CM could be looking after 6 kids. Even with only one baby that’s a lot, I have no idea how they manage it. I wouldn’t want to be paying to have a CM just cart my baby off on school pick ups et. and although I know some don’t do school runs, most do.

DD2 started at 13 montgs. After a few days she started enjoying it. She's absolutely fine whole days there without me now when just a few weeks ago she was breastfeeding several times a day! She does 2days at a childminder and 3 da

DD1 went to