Tips for when you're partner works away

[Belle2210]

I'm pregnant just now with my first baby. My husband works away often for a couple of months at a time so I wanted to get some advice and tips for these months I'll be home alone with a newborn onwards.

I know won't be all the time like single parents often have to cope with (honestly I salute you) and I will have some family and friends help but it's still daunting!

Bumpity bump bump if anyone's out there

Hi. I’m in the same boat. My DD is 4 months. My hubby had his first trip away after she was born when she was 6 weeks and honestly it was pretty hellish. I didn’t accept help and wanted to do everything myself. So my advice is accept all the help you can get!

Im finding it easier now cos she’s in a pretty good routine and is sleeping a lot better! But it’s still a lot doing everything solo!

Accept help
Get some easy to cook options in so you're not struggling to prep dinner and juggling a baby at the same time
Getting out to baby groups helped as I got some adult company in the day
Book some "time off" when he's back and make sure you share the load when he's home, it's way too easy to be the default parent/housework person

Dh was away a lot when DS was young (away Sunday night to Friday every week and then for weeks or months at times, probably not hard to guess what job!).

My tips:

Get into a routine that works for you
Reach out to friends and family for support, make plans to meet up and do stuff if you feel up to it
Don't worry about the house being super clean, as long as it's hygienic and tidy enough it's fine!
When he's back make sure you take some time to yourself and he gets involved and pulls his weight
Baby groups are a great way to meet people and add some routine

Trust yourself to manage. You will.

Online shopping and easy/quick meals that you can eat one handed.
If possible, hire a doula for the early days who is used to supporting women and babies after birth - there was a lovely one at a baby group I went to
Hire a cleaner if possible
Try and get out most days even if just for a walk round the block

As everyone else said: accept all the help you can. I had someone stay over once a week (my mum/a nanny) and take responsibility for the baby overnight as I have a medical condition that is severely impacted by lack of sleep. (Helped that he was formula fed). Those nights I’d go to sleep at about 8 and have about 11 solid hours sleep.
try to leave the house every day - to meet baby groups, go for a walk, but a pint of milk - whatever.
know that you CAN do this. It will be ok!

Enjoy it! You’ll find your way more capable then you think.

Make sure you have food in, nap when you can and set everything up ready for the night x

You’ll probably love it! With just one it will be super cosy and lovely. You’ll be tired I’m sure, but with only two of you it will be whatever routine you fall into with no pressure. My suggestion would be to either order food, order gousto, meal prep or just have in easy to cook food. Maybe batch cook some bone broth in advance because it’s really good for you postpartum.
Enjoy!

Thanks ☺️

My dh works away, from Sunday afternoon till Friday eve. We have 3 dc aged 12, 9 and 5. I work part time and am studying. We have our own routine, it takes a while to get it right but once it's set you will be fine. It is harder when they are little but now I find it easy!

Tips from a single mum that have helped me:

online food shop once a week
meal plan / prep. Make sure your thinking 2 days in advance minimum
Dont stress too much about the housework, get a cleaner if necessary / affordable.
Except help and don’t be afraid to ask
Laundry on set days (always has helped me)
Prepare the bag for the next day, the evening before. Nappies, clothes etc
Get out at least once per day; walk, cafe, baby group
Nap when they do if your feeling tired, but try go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.
Have one extra of things in the house (you can’t just nip out)
If formula feeding measure it out for the day and night in the morning, into pots.
Have a caddy with nappies, wipes, clothes. But also our things in their for you, bottle of water, biscuits, tv remote etc. then make sure it’s in reach and take to bed etc.

you will probably find that you fall into your own little routines and ways. But it can be quite daunting at first.

Pace yourself, don't try and do too much because if you get exhausted, there's no one to take over. So try not to get to the point of exhaustion, even if it means you don't get as much done as you would like.