In tears

[Noomorepepperpig]

Hi,
I have a 1 Yr old and a 3 Yr old. This week both are supposed to be in nursery while I work. 3 Yr was first unwell, I managed to work from home really well. My manager was aware. Today my 1 Yr old is also sick, Im sick but I have a very important meeting I need to sit in today. And there's no cover has others off for bank hols/school half term. Don't want to go sick, I was literally of sick with the same bug 3 weeks ago. Also, if I keep going sick, that will be an issue.

I'm just in tears I have no family support, paid childcare only works if they are well. They always seem to have some bug. How can I do it, I'm in tears. Today is going to be soo hard, I just want to quit.

Do you have a partner? If so, it's their turn to take a day for a sick child as you took the last one. Turn up for the meeting if its virtual, but not if its face to face, no one else wants your bug! It fies get easier, imo, this is the toughest age with both in really expensive childcare, but catching every bug going.

Is the children's dad able to support? Are you together? If so, if you've been WFH with a sick toddler and I think it's fair that it's their turn.

We sometimes stagger the childcare with work if a child is poorly, so if one of us has an important meeting in the morning one parent will take the morning off and then we'll swap over.

Oh, love. I remember this well.

It's so, so tough with little ones. Especially when new to childcare / nursery - they seem to have bugs, colds, chicken pox etc almost all the time 🙈

It is such a stressful, anxiety inducing time,

It does get better and you're not alone.

If your meeting today is virtual, can you occupy the children with a treat or device and do it without your camera on as a one off? Blame technology, bad internet or similar?

Anything you need to get you through.
You have my sympathy x

It’s the absolute worst when they’re sick and you’re sick

All I can say is it will be short lived, you’ll get through it one way or another, and - hugs. Hang on in there.

Thank you both. My meeting was awful, but it's done. I need to chat with other half, but he was out for work already and his work is just not very flexible. Mine has a degree of flexibility but that's not endless and today was a prime example, had to be in and working from home with 2 sick children is very hard.

From your OP I assumed you were a single parent. It sounds like your partner isn't pulling his weight when it comes to childcare. This isn't just your problem - you're meant to be a team.

This always seems to be the way - the mother's job is 'flexible' whereas the dad's cannot be affected under any circumstances. Even happens when men & women are in the same role in the same team with the same boss...

He is entitled for time off for sick dependents just as you are, he needs to pull his weight more equally.

I have to agree with this. A friend's husband works for the same organisation as me. He continues to tell the family he cannot take carer's leave so his wife has to take unpaid leave. He can take it, it's paid, it is flexible and people take carers leave all the time. He just doesn't want to.

I think it’s unfair your Oh went to work and left you with 2 ill young kids trying to work! That isn’t ok

Not all men are like this…in our house it’s the other way round as my partner works from home with fairly flexible hours and I am a teacher with no flexibility. He does over 50% of sickness cover usually.

yes OP it does sound like you might need to have a chat with him about taking time off tomorrow if this continues.

it is so stressful, pouring money down the drain on childcare you can’t use, feeling guilty as you aren’t doing your job well, feeling guilty for resenting your lovely children when it’s not their fault….yeah it’s crap.

It's really hard.

We often had the 'who's got the most important day' competition.

Definitely make sure you both take your turns if it's at all possible. Obvs if one of you is a GP, surgeon or pilot this becomes
harder.