Toddlers - do they get easier?!

[Sumshinebound]

Hi all, so we have a fairly spirited son/DS who definitely went through the terrible twos. It was a shock to the system as he was a very chilled baby.

lately in the last few months he seems to be getting (dare I say it!) easier in many ways and listening more /wanting to behave. He’s just turned 3. My friends who had easy two year olds are finding the opposite and three is a nightmare.

did anyone experience anything similar? 3 being easier? I keep hearing how bad 3 is and hoping that’s not the case for everyone. 2 was incredibly challenging. I know they all go through phases but some positive stories would be great!

My 2.5yr DD is getting easier every day, and she was awful early this year.

Ha ha. No.

4's alright so far but it's only been a few weeks.

Good to hear!

Well... they grow out of being toddlers and become pre-schoolers. Then they grow out of that...

Honestly OP, each age and stage has its wonders and its horrors. I say embrace the madness as well as the calm!

Honestly I've found some things better and some things worse. DD is 3.6 now. It's better because we can discuss things more - she understands explanations for things and is better able to articulate what's wrong.

However, now we get tired emotional strops over stupid things because she dropped her nap a few months ago but is now a tired nightmare by 5pm! Things like "Daddy poured my milk into a cup" - yes, like he does every night.... (This one lasted 20 mins tonight!!)...

For us, yes. 2.5 was peak horrendousness, got easier at 3 and easier again at 4. Easier mind, not easy 😅

2 was bad
3 was lovely
4 is horrendous!

My eldest has ASD/ADHD and was always on the go; toddler years were utterly exhausting.

Couple of things that helped:

• Go swimming/park in the morning then do one other thing in the afternoon to burn off energy. Aim to kill a few hours. Afterwards, let them pootle about/watch tele etc. - don’t overschedule yourself!
• Keep meals extremely simple and snacky with a couple of sides of chopped carrots/cucumber with dinner in case they don’t fancy it.
• if you have to do haircut/whatever, combine it with a treat like an once cream afterwards. They’ll come to associate it with a nice day out.
• Don’t argue. Just ‘okay then’’, and pick them up if you need to go. Limit choices. If they tantrum, empathise with them (DS2 would stop immediately if I said, ‘you’re so upset about this, aren’t you? You can’t have/do it right now, which feels really horrible.’ etc.).
• Loads of praise

The next step is constant whining at about 4 years old, but this fades, too

Thanks all! some helpful tips!! 2.5 was soooo horrendous

I found that as they became able to negotiate and understand consequences like what could hurt them as well as behaviour consequences then slowly it became easier.

I think my DS just really didn’t like being 2! He was very frustrated all the time. Now he seems to get things a bit more at 3. I’m sure we will have many more ups and downs

Hi op, dc1 was a demanding baby, a placid 2 year old and a nightmare three-nagar. Dc2 was a dream baby and is now going through the terrible 2’s and everything is a battle. I’m hoping this all means he will be easier at 3!

My dd is coming up 4, and 3 has been such a fun age. Everyone warned me about 2 and 3 but neither have happened.

Both my dds never went through the “terrible twos “ but at age 3 they were challenging !
easier in some ways as they understand bribery 🤣

DD’s meltdowns at 2.5 were legendary. She’s now 3.5 and so much more reasonable.

So true

My DD definitely went through the terrible two's! She turned 3 a few weeks ago so yet to find out about the rest! But we had some phases of really bad behaviour/tantrums. Then would go really good again. At the moment she likes to shout at me when she's frustrated that shes not allowed to do something, and stamp her foot at me! Waiting for this phase to calm down 🤣

DS1 was a very easy baby, a lovely 1/2 year old and then a very difficult 3 year old! Now he's 4 he is fairly easy but a bit too clever for his own good and omg the whining...

DS2 is only 6m but he is a very demanding baby, be interesting to see how this goes.

I think every stage has its challenges especially if you have a few dcs as you go back and do it all over again each time! Tbh I always found the baby phase the chilled phase and I didn’t have all easy babies , they stay in one place, can’t argue back , nap a lot, you can still have quite a lot of headspace etc. I’m reminded of when I meet my friends who are all on their first baby , all asleep in the prams and I’m chasing after older kids or my eldest ones get bored and they wonder why I don’t bring kids to their restaurant meet-ups!!
Its an ever evolving situation , my neighbour with two teenage daughters is going through a really challenging time at the moment . My kids are all from 5-11 and there’s challenges with every age , some things get easier and some other things harder but the baby stage for me (with one baby obviously) was the least impact so far!! I just don’t think you can say once they hit this age it’s all fine , I find 5 years a magic age but found 8-10 challenging again etc etc..

My DD was an angel between 18mo and 3, she only lost some of it because she started preschool and developed a bit of an attitude. She was still very good at listening and following instructions, etc. I could take her anywhere and not worry.

DS is nearly 4. He was an angel until he turned 18mo, then it started. Massive tantrums over nothing, constantly attacking DD, bolting, leaving a trail of destruction wherever he went... He's nearly 4 now, and better. Still has tantrums about nothing, but much much less than he used to! He's still not great at listening when he's doing something else, though.

Thanks for your replies everyone! It’s so interesting how they are all so different and in some ways very similar. It’s crazy how so many of the boys hit 18 months and go wild. I do wonder if testosterone is involved. Lots of friends similar experience.

Yes ds2 seriously rebelled at 18months and hasn’t been the same since! I just want my placid cuddly baby back! He is 2 and a half now and I’m hoping he’ll settle down by 3 at least.

2 was easy for me he was so chilled. 3 he has turned into a threenager. It’s really hard but he’s also lovely with the things he comes out with “mummmmy I just love you so much you are my favourite thing in the whole world” the tantrums are challenging though.

This was me!