Super Alert Baby

[twentyeight]

Hi all,

I'd love to potentially get together an online support group for people with ridiculously alert babies!

I have a 14 week old, and the weight of parenting her is really getting heavy! I'm exhausted. I have taken a job working from home to pay for a Nanny, to give us a break. My partner has taken her on this week whilst I start the job and is already at breaking point on Tuesday.

She's really a wonderful baby. Smiley, beautiful, a quick learner. However, she's also bored within 20 seconds, refuses to sleep, has bottle aversion, frequently grumpy, will only be held in two ways, hates the outside, won't sleep in her pram (maybe getting better?), won't eat outside, hates the sling and won't have anyone else hold her other than her Mum and Dad (so no one can give us a break, hoping the Nanny cracks it).

She has been wide eyed and tracking us from birth, and has been a real handful but we initially thought that, that was just how it is.

I knew something was up at the first NCT meet when she was about 8 weeks old. The other babies were calm, semi open-eyed, drowsy and feeding happily. Mine was wide eyed, already sitting up straight, smiling at people and refusing to eat. She was the only baby that cried and wriggled around grumpily. I was SO worried and confused.

I feel endlessly trapped because she doesn't react well once out. She hates the sun, being warm, being cold, wearing a sun hat, the park....

I see so many other babies just chilling in the park. Other Mums I know go for walks daily and don't feel panicked the whole time. I frequently feel very envious.

I'd love to hear from anyone else experiencing the same.

@Fleur405 an hour?! An hour?!?! I’d seriously consider losing a finger or toe for that sort of time haha. Like you said even 15 minutes would be bliss. My dream is to one day finish a hot beverage when I first make it. Not heating it up in the microwave hours later which pre-baby me would be horrified at.

Honestly, I wanted to almost cry with jealousy at friends and strangers babies who were always so settled, sleeping in their pram while mum lounged outside a coffee shop chatting to friends.

I have a child who knows what she likes, and boy was she vocal about it. Hated the pram. Hates the sling. Hated not being held. Hated going out. Hated being put on the grass. Never wanted to do any of the activities I copied from the mum pages on instagram.

She then became a toddler and is the best person in the whole wide world. She just hated being a baby!

@Pizzaandsushi Sounds like I really need to work on the crib sleep then! He immediately wakes up whenever we try the crib. We currently cosleep as I’m breastfeeding and I get way more rest being able to feed him lying down. Do you have any tips for how you got your LO to sleep in the crib?

6 months feels like such a long way away for things to improve 😂 but it’s reassuring that I’m not alone in having a super alert and demanding baby and that things do improve, even if only marginally 😅 thank you for taking the time to reply and sharing your experience!

@Fleur405 I’m hoping I get super fit too as I’m constantly on my feet as he knows whenever I sit down in the sling/carrier! Silver linings eh haha 😅

@mmmflakycrust81 I know what you mean about feeling jealous. I often feel jealous that I don’t have an easy baby and then I feel really guilty for feeling that way.

That’s so lovely to hear that your DD is now the best toddler though ☺️ I do often feel like my DS is just old before his time. He seems so switched on and ready to take the world on.

@Biscuits88 we tried a few things and we also never fed him to sleep so he wouldn’t have that association.
The first thing we did was put his moses basket inside the cot. He would sleep fine in the basket as it was cosier and so we put it inside so he could see the walls of the cot and get used to the idea of it even though he wasn’t technically inside it if you see what I mean.
Then starting with naps we would always place him in the cot first. Pop in his dummy and put a hand on him to try and comfort him. We actually started off dipping the dummy in a little gripe water. Worked like a charm to get him to stop crying as he’d be like oooo tasty and settle right down. This was much easier in the early days when he was still in his Love To Dream swaddles as he’d be all wrapped up inside whereas now because he struggles to wind down he flails his arms about which makes things difficult.
At first he did cry quite a bit so we’d pick him up, try and comfort him and then place him back in when calm. We’d only do this 1-3 times and then I know they say not to do this but if he was really struggling we’d get him to fall asleep in our arms and then when fully asleep (does take 10 mins to reach deep sleep I believe) we’d pop him in. If you feed to sleep then at first I would probably still continue tbh if nothing else is working as they’ll never go to sleep if they’re not calm and you can work on changing that later.
Yes at first this did involve him waking up and crying when he realised he’d moved places but again it was trying to get him used to the idea of being in the cot even if he wasn’t in it long. Eventually we were able to put him in and he’d fall asleep inside and then we did the same at night.
like I said we struggle a little bit now as he flails his arms about now he’s in a normal sleeping bag but it’s not because he hates the cot as when you pick him up he screams even more and it’s obvious he’s annoyed he can’t get to sleep but for some reason when we do pick him up, after ten seconds of him screaming and swiping at us we pop him back down and it’s like his body says ok well I definitely don’t want to be held so I’ll calm down and go to sleep. We do also put a firm but gentle hand on his arms sometimes just to help him keep them still so he can relax. We’ve also found as time has gone on he likes less involvement from us and if he can see our faces, then we can forget about him going to sleep as it seems to energise him more 😂. We now pop him in and hide outside the room or behind the bed (we have a single bed in his room to be with him without disturbing the other person in our room) to give him time to settle without extra stimulation but go straight back in if he cries.
Again though, probably the biggest help was time. Yes having a good routine helped but we noticed a big improvement when his naps started lengthening naturally around 5.5 months.
I know 6 months seems like far away. There were days I was convinced I was never going to make it but you do. I think the biggest realisation you’ll find, and something I’m proud of, is how resilient you become. Every time I came up against a challenge (we’ve had a lot) I’d think there’s no way I can do this anymore but you know it’s the only option and so you continue and you do get there.

Everyone else’s replies are so long 😁I just have one tip. Mine is super alert and demanding, but he loves Hey Bear sensory videos on youtube. Now hoping nobody judges me for putting the tv on. He is in his play pen thingy with the dangly toys while its on, or sometimes we dance together (mostly me waving his arms around) or name the stuff we see in the videos. But it does help 😉

My firstborn was like this. Super alert, grumpy, clingy, didn't sleep. He was just fucking hard work. I hated other mums and their stupid content stationary potato babies.

Things got easier when he turned 3, and then again when he was properly at school. He's still sensitive, alert and not a great sleeper, but aged 7 he is a wonderful companion and a piece of piss to look after.

Hi all, did that support group ever get started?

I have a very alert baby just on 6 months and am hoping it’s normal and just how he is! He is usually happy and not often grumpy unless teething, but he talks a lot (esp showing off to other people!) and is constantly moving now it seems. He is very near crawling and I’m not looking forward to him being mobile! Any tips for how to manage that?
we are also finding naps tough though seemingly not as bad as some of you. He wakes after a half an hour and sometimes it takes aaaages to get him back down for his midday nap, that’s the one I really don’t want him catnapping for.

My DD was similar in some ways, always watching people even from birth. At 4 she Is VERY opinionated and also tricks me into doing things i dont want to do 🤣. She's also quite stubborn but luckily her brother just does her bidding haha

This thread has given me SOOO much hope. OP - I’m not kidding, I could have written your post. Word for word. Every single stranger comments on my baby’s alertness. I see other babies that are a similar age and they’re so much more… calm? Motionless? Sleepy? With my little girl it is like she wants to take in everything all the time. I changed her to her flat seat as she hates not being able to see out the pram, she protests naps, hates bottles, dummies, hates the carrier as she wants to see the world, has to be held facing outward so again, she can see the world. needs to be spoken to and interacted with all the time. It is so physically demanding and I’m constantly thinking I’m doing something wrong or that I’m a crap mum who can’t keep her happy or content. I find leaving the house so stressful because I never know what mood she’ll be in. She’s also soooo talkative and is hitting all her milestones early. Just this morning she was turning pages of a book?! Hahah. So I’m feeling much more hopeful now that she’ll be happier once she can walk and talk.

I can see you posted this a couple heads back - how are things now?!

Hey! This is all so familiar! We turned her around in the sling early, and she became a much calmer baby - she just wanted to see the world!
Now she is 3.5 years old, and she is an intense little girl, but in a fun way. It took her a long time to have the concentration necessary to watch TV for longer than 2-3 min stretches, but now she sits and watches Peppa Pig or whatever she is into, and I actually have little breaks for myself! All this will pay off when they are fascinating, funny, energetic adults who are great to be around.
Make sure you find the breaks when you can - you deserve them. Look after yourself and get help from others as often as you can make them. Do fun things for you. These kids are not for the faint-hearted! I decided not to have a second because I can't do two of these! 😂 But it's great - I have one with enough personality for two, and I get more time back for me.

Also - if it helps we didn't have many tantrums at all through 2 - she is a proper little threenager now but she loved being a toddler. She was adorable. Seems a lot had similar situations.