Need a head wobble. Having a third child would be daft.

[MaggieFS]

I mean, we took about 18 months to confirm our decision. We are both in our early forties, met late, married late, had DC late. We both work FT just to stand still. We have filled our house. We are SO a tired. All of the time. At best, get two (short) unbroken nights sleep per week. And with our younger one now 21 months, can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Plus, especially given our ages, we are lucky to have two healthy children.

BUT our DC don't/wont have any cousins and three feels like more of a happy crew (I know they might hate each other). And suddenly everyone is having babies (again). One NCT pal is only just about to have a second. A close colleague who didn't really want children but decided on one is about to have her third. Another NCT pal is due her third.

Why are three children families and babies suddenly taunting me everywhere? I am a head over heart person.

I felt like you for a few years. Didn't have the third. DC are now 12 and 9 and I'm relieved. I could never give attention to 3 properly!

Would have loved to have money enough to have 3 DC, to afford help, a bigger house, etc. But things being as they are, stopping at 2 was the right decision!

Once the "broodyness" passed, I couldn't even think about being pregnant again.

It's not a race.
That sounds so damn irritating, I know. But it's not.
I think it's so hard for us women when everyone and their dog is having a baby or in your case, baby number 3. Undeniably you can't help but wonder if you too should just hop aboard the crazy train.
Going by what you've written, I wouldn't have baby number 3.
Seriously, by 45, you get off the baby train and actually wholly enjoy the package you've been blessed with. Broodiness fades! The 'need' to have one more finally leaves us. It is bliss!
But right now, it's closing time at The Last Chance Saloon and it's not a great venue. I think most of us women can honestly say, we've been there, wondering, between the ages of 38-43, if we should have one for the road. In the end, only you can decide this. But in your position, I'd be leaning away from having another one. I really would. You're going to come into a good time as your other two get older here and a third one right now, at this age, having just been through the hell on wheels experience of no sleep, can put such long-term strain on you and, crucially, on your relationship.

Yes but your youngest is 7... not 21 months. It makes a big, big difference.

In your situation I wouldn't.
You're over 40 (which means greater risk of disabilities), you already have 2 kids (i.e. both of your kids have a sibling in each other), you're financially stretched and tired.

Thanks everyone! Brilliant posts. My head is well wobbled and also not full of red wine anymore and I shall save this thread for the next time these stupid thoughts enter my mind.

I think last chance saloon is a good way to describe it and I just have to ride it out.

I agree with the other posters that it's far better and more sensible to stop at two. But, like OP, I'm driving myself slightly mad wondering if we should take the plunge and try for a third, so I know how you feel OP - and friends' new babies are not helping me either!
I also understand your point about cousins as I'm really close to mine and feel a bit sad my kids don't have them. I too love the idea of them being part of a little gang of their own. Fundamentally I always wanted three, and knew even when dd2 arrived that I didn't 'feel done' - but this was before the reality of having two hit (!) and is completely heart over head, of course.
We need to make our decision soon and are both torn. There are so many financial reasons to stick with what we have and count our lucky stars that we have two healthy dds. Also we're at that 'light at the end of the tunnel' stage where they are getting easier, too.
For me it feels like a choice between going with my heart and gambling on a third with all the chaos I know it would entail (but all the lovely and unquantifiable benefit of an extra member of our family), vs knowing we will have a comfortable life, nice holidays, enough spare time etc if we stick with two - but one where there's the risk I'd always have a 'what if' ?
I do think both working FT with three would be full on though, I'm lucky on the job front as mine is flexible and part time. I don't think it would work if we were both FT.
On another thread about three kids someone commented that she felt that if she accidentally got pregnant with a third, or if someone told her she couldn't have any more, she'd get on board with it in either case, but making an active decision was the thing that she was finding really hard - and I think I'm in the same place! Sorry not very helpful to you, OP. Good luck!