Some parents don't know how to play without telling child what to do

[chocinthefridge]

Just wondering if some parents only know how to play with kids by telling them how to do it. How do you nurture/explain the importance of some child-led play?

Have you played with many children? They are bossy and most of the time let you know how to play the game and are quick to tell you you're doing it wrong 😂

I expect some parents are better at child led play than others like most things. I doubt anyone always tells the child what to do when playing, especially imaginative play. I can't see many children not giving any input even if the parent doesn't think to encourage them.

I never played the way others did, and was also not able to play with my kids the way other parents did. But my kids didn't play the way others did either. We are autistic. It makes me extremely uncomfortable to try and initiate or respond to play requests where children do play appropriately. It's alien to me.

But yes I've seen several parents over the years who seem to need to tell kids how to

My DP were good at child led play. Even with adult led play at least the parent is playing with the child, which cannot be said of some parents who do not play with their kids at all and or pay others to.

Ime it doesn't take much effort to participate in child led play. "Mummy be the bear. NOT THAT BEAR NOT THAT BEAR the BETTIT BEAR mummy. Mummy be the bettit bear with feet. FEET mummy. Put feet here, you are a bettit bear. Make your face like THIS mummy, bettit bear face, FEET mummy" etc.

I heard some child expert on the radio once saying that parents shouldn't feel they have to play with their children, it's of no benefit to the child and most parents don't enjoy it.
There were a number of reasons for this.
Imaginative play is when children practise being in charge and making decisions. When adults join in that end up directing play (even when they think they aren't).
Children learn by copying adult behaviour, not by having adults join in child behaviour.
Parents generally don't enjoy playing with children and children can tell.
Parents engaging in imaginative play with children is unique to middle class families in western countries, they do it in the misguided belief it is good for developing intelligence. Throughout human history and across every culture parents have never played with children like this before.
He didn't say you shouldn't play with your children in this way if you want, just that it's of no developmental benefit to them. Read to and cuddle them instead. Imaginative play, they can do by themselves or with other children.
Unfortunately I heard this advice to late and had already wasted years on the floor bored stiff being a diligent middle class parent playing with my children.

This is music to my ears! I will happily do a jigsaw together or play a board game but I lose the will to leave after about 45 seconds of imaginative play.

Imaginative play with a 4 yo is torture to me, thank you @Kendodd for validating my feelings!

Nurture it or explain it to who?

I'm guessing you don't mean telling your friends how to play with their kids...?

Yes, spread the word!
Don't waste your time on this nonsense.

@kendodd I really wish I'd met this expert.

I overheard someone playing with their child (a wonderful fact in itself) but the adult was making all the suggestions and saying 'I think XYZ' and was definitely in charge. I think if you are in an organisational role at work, it must be hard not to carry it through to play!

This in spades!

Honestly, I dont know if you realise but this post is coming off as very judgemental. Are you actually looking for suggestions on how to tell this parent the right way to play with their child?