2 year old ADHD or normal behaviour?

[HotChocolate16]

Hi all

just posting for some advice really! I’m really struggling. So for context, about 3 weeks ago we moved into my in laws as we bought a new house that we are renovating. For context, I am also due my second child in 4 weeks (although i don’t think DS understands this).

Anyway, since moving in, my DS (2 year 3 month old) behaviour has escalated badly, to the point i don’t think this is normal and I’m worried about ADHD. I know this is all a big change for him but it’s really extreme now. Today I had to drop my basket and leave the supermarket as he was running around all over the place wouldn’t stop to stand still, like he’s got a rocket up his ar**. When I picked him up he screamed the place down and everyone just stared.

These are an example of some things:
Hitting, slapping, kicking me and others
Screaming when he doesn’t get his way
Not listening to instructions
Running off down everywhere, rarely walking not stopping when running or when asked to
Excessive energy
Screaming when being picked up
Doesn’t sit still
Gets bored easily
Won’t focus on one toy for longer than 1 minute
Pushing his cousins
Kicking and throwing toys at people and tv not listening
Gets frustrated very quickly with toys and then throws them and kicks them in anger
Throws all his food everywhere if he doesn’t want to eat it
Won’t sit still when eating

its so challenging all day dealing with this and it’s escalating. I am wondering if if could be signs of ADHD?

anyone with experience with this?

thank you

He's moved home in the past 3 weeks and is living with extended family. The behaviour has escalated since then, but you think it's ADHD rather than the changes to his home, his routine and his feelings? Can you not see the connection between him misbehaving and all the changes he's dealing with?

The entire world as he knew it has been completely upended. Plus he's also aware there's another child arriving soon.

His behaviour is totally normal for a young child who has experienced a monumental change in their life. You need to treat him with kindness and understanding, not harsh discipline.

Pretty normal for a 2 year old who has had a big change in his routine.

This - but also firm, reliable, consistent boundaries are more important than ever. He is scared because everything seems different. It is kind to maintain boundaries with him, otherwise you add to his confusion. (Not saying you aren't doing this by the way!)

Thanks guys. I know that seems like the more
logical reason. However I just sometimes think is it really that as:

1. I don’t think he’s that much aware he’s got a new baby brother arriving soon


2. he is extremely comfortable with in laws. Spent 2 days out of the week here alone whilst I worked previously before moving in, and would see them multiple times throughout the week. Loves spending time with them without us there.

Ive read up on this and heard that changes like this can cause this behaviour, but I didn’t know if this extent / extremity was normal? It’s like he’s hopped up on something all
the time. I’m just really struggling mentally with it all

Agree with others, his world has turned upside-down and he's not old enough to process his feeling yet, or explain to you how he feels, so he gets more and more worked up and frustrated.

Hang on in there, it will pass, but probably not for a while.

He’s confused by the changes to his world as he knew it and he hasn’t got the skills to verbalise it so he’s lashing out. He’ll be missing his routine, the security of just mummy and daddy and living with extra people pits a strain on any relationship. Adults find it hard to cope and it’s especially hard for a toddler.

Absolutely normal - the phrase 'terrible twos' derives from exactly that sort of behaviour!

Thank you for your responses.

i guess I am over analysing it. It’s just so hard when I speak to people about it and they do say ‘it’s just boys for you, they’re more hyperactive more energy etc’ then when I asked if their DS was the same, they will always say yes but not as much as mine. Which makes me thinks his is extreme

I guess it is just the change and I need to persevere. There is more change on the horizon with the new baby in a few weeks and the new house move in a few weeks too when it’s all done up. So I guess it’s just going to get worse before it gets better. This whole situation is just turning me into the type of mum I never was, and never wanted to be. Always shouting, losing patience, aggressive in my tone. I’m losing it a lot more with him than I ever did and feel so guilty afterwards. I should try remember he’s struggling even if he doesn’t seem it, because as PP mentioned, even us adults struggle I guess. I know I’ve been upset plenty of times moving in with my in laws because of the change, lack of personal space etc.

Sounds normal

It could be normal, it could be something else. There's quite a degree of variance and normal toddler behaviour covers a wide range, but that doesn't necessarily mean there isn't something else going on.

Is he meeting milestones generally? Have you been having HV checks? Is he in any form of childcare and if so have they said anything?