Days at home with young children- laborious and exhausting!

[Heyjumbo]

My children are 7 and 4 and I'm finding days at home with them relentless. But after being ill over the weekend, I didn't really have a choice. I get out with them a lot as otherwise, they make a mess in the house and requests for tidying end up in meltdowns from the 4 year old and the 7 year old gets stroppy because she's having to do more than her sister. I then spend the late afternoon/early evening tidying. Not only that but they will help themselves to playdough and paints and I'll have to scrub the table and get playdough from down the sofa. I'm usually very strict about the tidying but when I'm unwell and don't have the energy for battles, it's like they know and take advantage.

Then the squabbling- they're constantly falling out and arguing over toys or what is on the TV. If the older one goes to her room to get away, her sister follows her screaming and beating the door down.

Lockdowns seemed much easier as I kept a tight structure- I'm a teacher so I kept to a schedule and taught full lessons to the older one. The younger one continued going to nursery. There wasn't much time for making lots of mess.

I hate staying at home with them. It's anxiety inducing. And they don't leave me alone. "Watch me do this, watch me do that" "play with me, do this, do that, reach this for me , reach that."

I refuse to be their maid and if I say no, the younger one tantrums and the eldest one cries and sulks then falls out with her sister over the slightest thing.

I'm really fed up. It's showed me that, it's all well and good taking them out all the time to occupy them and keep the house tidy, but sometimes, we have to stay in.

Any ideas for better, smoother days at home?

Same here.

We've been to a massive outdoor party in the park this morning then to a mate's to swim in the afternoon.

We try not to spend full days at home.

Sorry, I realise this doesn't answer your question at all!

But structure helps - TV, puzzles, colouring, etc each for an hour.

My child is younger so no not really sorry 🙈 but I’m a teacher too (infants) and you honestly sound like you’re describing an afternoon in my class. It’s completely unmanageable! Just total chaos with no extra pair of hands to help. Children are in helping themselves to things, I can’t sit with one child to do anything because I’ve got paint out in the other corner (that’s what we’re supposed to do to encourage choice etc etc🤷🏼‍♀️) and you’ve got kids in refilling the paints, driving toys cars through the paints. I made a hair salon because children showed an interest in that so went and bought all the model heads for it. One of them ended up in the sink having their hair washed 🙈 it’s just utter carnage!

Sorry no help but I do feel your pain 🤣 and that’s one of many reasons why I’m quitting asap. People working from home doing a lovely peaceful office job have no concept of an afternoon in there

I left the classroom a few years ago @Sarah13xx as I felt that the 'good' children were missing out on my time, because the naughty ones got all of my attention. I felt very frustrated so, I really empathise. I teach highly SEND children now in very small groups and find it much more rewarding.

Being at home with my own children at the weekends I find is harder in some ways. Atleast in a classroom you can impose on bells, timers, schedules etc. It's harder to impose it at home when the children just want free reign over their toys and crafts. Like you, trying to allow for freedom and access to materials, but the reality is that is makes for a LOT of work for me at the end of the day! Particularly when they're bored after 2 minutes and on to the next task!

Sometimes, we just need some down time don't we and so hard not to just allow screen time for some tidier peace! The younger one is obsessed with drawing at the moment, and the minute my back is turned she's got felt tips out and has marked the furniture with them. I'm genuinely run ragged by them when at home. I imagine being in a classroom with little people is amplified during free time!

Maybe I'm too strict but if they are making a mess with felt tips, play doh etc then I just wouldn't have have those sort of 'messy' craft toys in my house. I do think DC have far too many toys so become overwhelmed with choice and get everything out and don't really play with anything. I regularly culled my DS's toys, sounds mean but I wasn't prepared to live in a tip.

The long and the short of it is that you need to be strict. I’m actually fairly easy-going but there’s no way my DC would have got paints or play dough out without permission at that age. DS is 10 and now allowed to get paints out on his own to paint his models but only at the kitchen table and with newspaper down. They’ve never ever been allowed paint or messy stuff in the living room and it wouldn’t occur to them to even try. No felt tips around soft furniture until 8 or so. They’re not regimented (right now there’s a Sylvanian family village and a hornby train track on my living room floor!) but they can’t just wreak destruction without consequences. Messy play is fine in the right place but needs to be cleared up afterwards. Drawing on furniture or walls I’ve always come down on like a ton of bricks and it’s been a very rare occurrence as a result. Remember behaviour at home is the same as school - what you permit, you promote. If they’re allowed to do stuff of course they will do it.

Why are they helping themselves to craft materials, play dough etc? The answer is no, even when you are ill. Surely a 4 year old knows that drawing on the sofa is wrong? I'd be nipping these little things in the bud asap.

I'm with you on the bickering - it's relentless. The only half-solution I've found is sending them to their own rooms to play for a reset - although I appreciate they may not have their own rooms. But you could try one in the lounge.

Re: screen time, you need to let the guilt go sometimes. We have one iPad and one TV and they alternate between these. Not all day obviously, just when needed, usually at the beginning and end of a day.

I strategically ignore mine for long periods on days at home.
when they aren’t getting attention for whinging etc they soon go and entertain themselves. It’s good for them to be left to themselves for a bit.

Our craft materials are all in the conservatory on a trolley. I lock the door but the youngest has figured out how to open it.

There's a sofa in there (felt tips aren't allowed in the lounge!!) She got felt tip on it by leaning on it as she was drawing. The same for the table.

Perhaps I should get rid of the trolley and keep everything higher up. The eldest never got anything out without asking at her age- the youngest is in to everything and refuses to tidy up. I've confiscated her toys but it makes no difference.