How to deescalate a 3 year old

[Cait73]

Sudden onset of anger resulting in screaming and throwing things, I remain calm get down to eye level and explain we're not going to throw things etc etc

Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't

I know it's a normal part of growing he's testing boundaries but does anyone have any tips on how to either stop them going from 0 to 100 in a split second OR how to best calm them down?

Stay calm, acknowledge their frustration and then distract them

I am sure you have but i will say it anyway. Have you looked for the precursors? over tired, hungry, stressed for any reason and so on?

For my children, sitting on the flooring at a safe distance and waiting it out was the only thing which worked. Occasionally saying and here for a cuddle when your ready. Any other intervention just made it last longer.

I would get down to the same level, speak very quietly and explain once that they needed to stop whatever they had done. Then just count quietly or hum a song they liked that week and not try to engage in a conversation.

Once she had calmed enough I would explain the reason they had been told to stop ie you hit mummy and it hurt. You must not hit people, if you are angry or upset you should use your words or walk away.

Try coming down to their level and giving them a firm warning and saying "don't throw things, we don't do that", if the behaviour carries on place them in the corner or on a mat and let them reflect on their behaviour, set a timer minute of their age and at the end hugs and kisses. When my kids are bad this works perfectly for them and I have a 11,9,6,1 years old.

The sitting on a mat etc only works if you've got compliant children.
I've got one that gives no fucks whatsoever. Would never stay on a spot to reflect. Wouldn't stay in room when sent.

I think it's down to the child vs parenting prowess !

I always always get down to his level and sitting it out/distraction is fine normally but I'm talking about when he lobs a (toy) laptop at a smaller child's head or tries to throw a chair into a greenhouse!

Obviously I'm jumping in and removing "weapons" but he's going quite balistic by now so telling him to stop and trying to calm him at the same time is proving difficult

This behaviour is very unusual for him I think he's coming down with something

FirstAidNowPlease how old is your child, there are other timeouts you can try to help your child out. I have more problems with my 9 years old with her backchat plus swearing at me all the time, I come down to her level, give her a warning, and says if she carries on this behaviour she will sit in the naughty corner, mat, or timeout chair to reflect on what she has done and think about everything.

Cait73 all children get to an age where they like to push parents buttons to see how far they will go before getting told of, I had the same problem when my 9 year old was 3 years old the amount of throwing things, hurting other children was unavailable. I stayed calmed in every situation and try to understand why she was so angry. Being a parent is hard and always obstacles on the way.

My three year old did it in the middle of the shop today because I wouldn’t buy a £30 toy. I tried distraction , didn’t work - nothing worked. everyone was staring but actually now that doesn’t bother me. I just moved the toy and let him cry and scream and tried to blank it out I then carried on doing the important thing I had to do with him clinging onto my legs , he calmed down as we were leaving and needed a lot of cuddles. I spoke to him about his feelings and how we can’t always have what we want, and can’t shout scream etc/ and then all was forgotten. I try to just manage my own feelings and levels of stress and ignore most of the tantrum unless they are being aggressive which then if we’re are home I will put him in his calming corner in the bedroom. But I don’t believe in punishment they just have big feelings they literally can’t deal with. It’s not easy is it.