been training for 3 weeks, nusery says he's not ready

[bigbanana]

DS is 2.5yrs and goes to nursery 3 days a week. Started potty training him 3 weeks ago - went really well and kept him off nursery for a week so we could really concentrate on it. When he went back to nursery he regressed massively - barely does 1 or 2 wees on potty there - and I think it's becuase after 3 'accidents' there they put them back into pull ups - so he's getting a real mixed message about it all.

He's reasonably good about going on potty when he's at home with me. Nightmare if we are out and about (if he has trousers on - he forgets to tell me all the time)

Nursery told me this morning that they are not prepared to keep going with it as it's too much hard work and too unhygenic. . I'm so cross and feel that all my hard work has gone to waste.

Maybe he's not ready - any advice from anyone appreciated - not sure if I should put him back in nappies (well, pull ups) the whole time and try again in a few months, or if I should persevere as I've come this far.

From what you are describing he sounds like DS... as it happens I typed this yesterday on another thread :

"DS was always doing on potty when naked (no pants) but it took 4 months (I stopped in between of course) for me to try again with clothes on... so at 23 months he was fine when naked (would hold easily and sit on potty without any prompt) but after 3 weeks he went into pull ups as I got tired of accidents in clothes (tried star charts and didn't work... he didn't care) but I tried again at 27/28 months and he was clean ASAP. "

I think the nursery is right (sorry)... if he was at home potty trained for a week and he is not clean when dressed then he isn't ready. Are they suppose to allow him to run around naked (bottom bit I mean?).... sorry I have been there, I was annoyed too but I think your DS is doing the same as mine... and 4 months later DS was VERY easy to potty train... you might only need to wait 2 months or so. I went back to pull ups... hope this helps (a bit!).... sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear... I can appreciate you're thinking how great he is (and I was too)... but realistically if he is NOT dry when dressed.... then.... he really isn't in a state to be left without nappy.

Agree with pupuce, and if its any consolation I don't know of any boys who've been completely ready at 2.5. Ds1 was over 3 and tho' I tried training him on and off from about 2.25 its only with hindsight now that I know he just wasn't ready then.
Does he show an interest in you or your dh going to the toilet? IMO that's a good sign that they're getting ready.

bigbanana - I tried at 2.5 and it didn't work all that well. Tried again at 2yr9months and completely cracked it in about 4 days. This was with ds1 - perhaps it is worth just waiting that extra bit longer.

Thanks to both of you for advice. I think you're right...although I think if he's not ready then he's jolly nearly ready!

When he's with me at home all day - with no bottoms on he might only have one or two accidents - he'll do 5 wees on potty and happy to poo on potty/toilet too. Although since going back to nursery with their method, it's a bit hit and miss whether he makes it to potty or not even when at home with no bottoms on recently.

Maybe I'll go to pull ups and try again after xmas...?? Do you think I should put pottys away so there's no further mixed messages - or still let him go on it if he wants to?

Bigbanana - I was feeling very smug about my DS who went into big boys pants and wore them for a week or more - can't remember. He even got up first thing in the morning and did a poo on the toilet by himself. he, he had one accident at a friend's house (and I think her older children may have laughed at him or teased him or something) and 2 accidents after swimming the next day and then refused to go on the toliet. That was about 6 weeks ago and he is still very definitely in nappies although in the last week has started to ask to use the toilet again. He is 2y10m. I'm tearing my hair out with frustration but I guess he's just going to do it in his own good time.....

Give it a rest for at least 1 month (probably start after x-mas)... no potty nothing.
I thonk 5 wees in a day is a lot actually... well I only speak from MY experience where both my kids were potty trained went to toilet when they woke, went at lunch time and once in the late afternoon and just before bed.
i was lucky that both mine were dry day and night at the same time... you may have that too.
I really think your DS is exactly like mine and NOT ready enough to go to nursery in pants.....

It's bizarre isn't it - potty training and all its glory is just something you don't think about until you are doing it - and it's actually quite hard isn't it, when it doesn't go how you expect it to go!

I'm to torn between giving up and trying again later - and thinking I should persevere as I have worked soooooo hard for the last 3 weeks and he understands but seems to be lazy/lacking in concentration about it all the time!!

Aaaaaargh - I know in the grand scheme of things it's not a major deal, but it's stressing me out a bit (quietly without ds seeing!!) and making me not want to go out - becuase of having to take 4 changes of clothes for him and a huge potty under my arm!

I should add most boys are ready at around 3 but you can have them potty trained easily (in some cases) earlier, DS was 28 months old. Onmce he was really ready it was a doddle and I don't think we got more than 5 accidents ALL TOGETHER... worth waiting !

I think 3 weeks is a long time actually.... I don't think he is lazy either.
DS (when I thought he was ... but he wasn't) went with me to ToysRus and I realised (after several prompts for toilet) that he had actually done the LOT in his pants and he was sliding down the shop's slides.... brilliant.... I was livid ! I can tell you cleaning him (in the car) was a nightmare ! This is when I decided - NOT ready....

Hmmm...I will take all the pressure off all of us and try again in the new year. We were in a cafe sitting on whicker chairs when my DS did 3 wees (in quick succession) and a poo...imagine my face as puddles appeared on floor of cafe, dribbling through whicker chair! NIGHTMARE!