I need some help here...why won't he do it?

[Squirdle]

DS3 is nearly 3.1. I have been trying to train him on and off for about 4 months, but I stop when I realise he really isn't ready.

Anyway, I know he could do it now, but he is so bloody stubborn he won't!

He has a 5 yr old brother who he watches go to the toilet, he knows exactly what to do and I think he knows when he needs a wee.

This morning I have left him bare from the waist down, given him loads to drink and thought that if he at least does one wee on the potty/toilet he will get it. I have just sat him on the potty as I felt he needed to go, he didn't, 2 minutes later he comes to tell me he has done a wee on the playroom floor I am trying really hard not to be cross with him, but it is frustrating as I know he knows what to do. I just wish he would do one wee in the right place and then I can praise him to the hilt and give him a small chocolate as a reward! I know that will trigger it with him.

What do I do? Heeeeeeellllllppppppp

i really struggled & stressed with this too...until they want to do it themselves its unlikely to happen..

i dropped all treats and bits when toilet training. I gave him some buttons (fav at time) and after they were eaten said, if you can use the toilet / potty etc there will be more of the same for you my boy...and showed the evidence...

we made a pee chart with him lots of funny pictures and final picture of what we were gonna do when he had mastered the art..(trip to toy store i think)...

it is so frustrating though and i can feel your pain esp if he has older sibling to copy..

iirc ds managed it not long after third birthday so it could be all about to change for you soon..fingers crossed!

I know all children are different, but DS was was dry at 2.3 and DS2 at 2.5, so this seems really late to me. I know it is all down to him being Mr Stubborn (the wee in the playroom showed that!) Tbh if I gave him chocolate now, before he has done anything, he just won't bother. I think I will just pump him full of juice/water etc today, leave him bare and hope that he actually does a wee in the correct place at some point today.

I have been toying with the idea of giving DS2 a chocolate when he goes to the toilet, but knowing DS3, he will kick up such a fuss that the meaning of it will be lost.

He did it!!!!!!!

Hooray!

He has been dry all afternoon and has weed twice in the potty and once on the toilet!

Now I have a dilemma. He has nursery tomorrow, more of a playschool than a nursery iyswim. Do I send him in a pull up? He obviously have to wear trousers tomorrow and I think that will be confusing for him. Aaah what to do.....

great stuff!
am really pleased for you, its such a tricky thing esp with stubborn toddler!

..why not give them both small chocolate when ds2 does it...that way you'll have someone else on your side too..?

pull ups i found ds found them confusing actually
i might wait til he knows the routine in home first with clothes or take lots of changes of clothes and fingers crossed ..

I know, I don't want to confuse him, but I don't think it is fair so soon in to make the nursery staff have to change him loads tomorrow. I will ask if they can get him to try to go a few times during the morning though.

He is doing so well and even sat on the loo by his own choosing at bath time.

Am relieved to hear this, because my 2.11 yo DS1 knows exactly what to do and has IRON bladder control, but WON'T - or CAN'T - go on the potty!

We supposed to be going swimming today and unsure whether to put him in nappies today. Will see....

At the moment, struggling to get him to even sit on the potty. And he hasn't pooed for 2 days - usually goes at least twice a day...

Ah - the poo floodgates have opened. We have had 3 turds around the house.

Oh joy.

Where's Squirdle? I need to know how it's going. I'm in exactly the same boat with DS2 who was 3 on Friday and equally as stubborn as Squirdle's!

I'm here

Well what with nursery and friends over today, it hasn't gone well.

He has however pretended to go to the toilet an awful lot today! He likes turning the light on and off

I will keep trying when ever we are home, but for now while we are out I will have to put a pull up on him.

I reckon I will try to crack it on Friday and over the weekend. Oh saying that though he has parties to go to Saturday and Sunday

Gawd, the other 2 weren't this difficult!!

spl, DS doesn't poo on the floor, he just waits until I get him ready for bed. But, he has been nappyless since 3.30 or so and didn't have an accident at all...just didn't wee. He must have an iron bladder too!!

I'm trying the 'nappy off at home' and 'pull-up away from home' technique without much success. It's very hit and miss as DS2 is just not bothered whatsoever. I need a decent amount of time at home to have a good run at the 'nappy off' time but am finding it very difficult with school run, playgroup, parties etc. My latest cunning plan is training pants - bought a pair from a bargain bucket by the till at Mothercare yesterday. The accident shocked him but I had time to clean it up before it went everywhere. Think I might go an invest in a couple more pairs!

Ooh training pants, are they different to pull ups?

DS3 is doing amazingly well today. He went for a wee on the loo last night and this morning, had a pull up on for nursery this morning, but came back dry and went on the loo again and so I put pants and trousers on him this afternoon and he has just asked to go to the toilet!! I'm not going to say it too loud, but I think we may have cracked it!

Chocolate coins are helping lots, but I think the thing that has really done it is that he seems to be able to make himself wee now. He would sit on the loo before and not do anything, now he is every time.

Now, do I take him to pick up DS2 from school in pants...hmmm

My DS is 2.11 and has only started using the potty (maybe once or if we're lucky, twice a day) in the last few days. Before that, he showed all the classic signs of being ready, but just point blank refused to go, so we tried and stopped and tried and stopped several times. This time, he seems to be getting the hang of it at home - when we leave the house, though, it's another story. He wet himself in the library yesterday, and won't use the toilet at nursery, so he's still wearing nappies when we go out. It is frustrating, especially when I know children a year younger who are already dry all the time, but I really have come to the conclusion that until they want to do it, they won't.

LoveAngel, I know it's not the 'done' thing, but the chocolate coin treat after he goes on the toilet is really helping! It's just to start with until he gets used to going regularly.

He is doing really well and even pooed on the toilet this mroning (god we don't care what we talk about when we have children do we ) We have only had one accident today. I did put him in a pull up to go to a soft play area, simply because I knew he would be so engrossed in playing that he would forget, but he did a wee on the toilet there and was dry when we got home. I do have to keep reminding him atm, but he really has got it now!

Hi Squirdle
Is it still going well? I don't get to treat myself to Mumsnet very often, so I soon get out of touch. It sounds like you were committed to the process and I've often heard that you have to be ready too. I think I've only really been making a half-hearted attempt. January's such a busy month for us as both my DS's have had their birthdays already which has meant lots of parties and birthday teas. I just keep making excuses and putting it off.
Hope it's still going well for you.

Hi Wid, it is still going really well, I think this is it now. He goes to the toilet on his own a lot of the time already. I have been putting him in apull up to go to the aprties we have had this weekend, but otherwise he has had pants. I also don' think the nigh time training is far off either as he woke at 2.30 last night (v unusual), mesed about fir a bit and then I realised he might need a wee, so he went! Trouble with DS3 is that once he is awake it takes forever for him to settle again, so I'm not too with it today

I think the thing with DS is that he has realised this is what you do. It hadn't clicked when I have tried before and now he knows, it's easy.

I did exactly what you are doing and made excuses to myself...birthdays before Christmas, Christmas, more birthdays etc etc, but I also think you have to time it right and do it whn you feel comitted and when your DS really is ready. Do you try the chocolate button bribary thing. It really does work. We don't even need to give him it every time now, but it did make him go!

He is now pooing regularly on the loo and that in itself is wonderful! There is no going back now!

We also seem to have bypassed the potty too and he goes on the toilet, with no special seat or anything (we do have one unused) and actually thinking about it, it is easier as when we are out he will go on any toilet without fuss. He is still liking to have a choice of toilet at home though Takes him long enough to decide which one of the 3 he wants to use!!

Hi, Squirdle! Looks like you've well and truly cracked it. I think, no, I know my DS2 is ready and I just need to commit and not fear the accident during the school run! Congratulations.