Potty training help please!

[LP12345]

My son is 2 1/2 and we've been potty training for about 3/4 weeks ( the 3 day train go my thing just would t work for us and we're happy to be more relaxed with it ) but I've come to a bit of a dead end with it.

DS is really good and asks for the toilet or takes himself to the potty every time now but only when he's left with no pants/trousers on. As soon as I put his training pants on him he wets them and doesn't even try or care that's he's wet/soiled. He'll sometimes say I need the potty but only AFTER he's just done a wee/poo.

I keep reminding him gently about telling us he needs to go/being really positive with every aspect I can when he does well/have a sticker chart/talk to him about it lots and tell him we can go and pick more pants at the shops when he remember to go potty and not in his pant etc etc but I feel like we're not making any progress now.

Anyone been through similar and have anything that really worked to click this list but into place or is it just continuing like this for as long as it takes til he gets it? I feel like there must be more o can do but I just don't know! A friend suggested getting a bag of cheap toys and telling him he can pick something out when he uses the potty and doesn't wet his pants but I feel like this could get expensive!

If you're 3/4 weeks in then honestly he isn't ready. Take the pressure off and leave it for a while.

See if you can get hold of a copy of "oh crap". It has a lot of helpful information for toilet training.

In all the research I've done it says the average toddler does take between 3-6 months to be fully potty trained so 3 weeks in I know is early days...

Same scenario with my boy at the same age. Only being naked as it wasn't being caught would spur him to go.

6 months later was a different story as he was old enough to want to be independent and take himself. Sit on a normal toilet. Enjoyed flushing and getting the soap etc.

He sounds like he's not ready but regressing to nappies may seem frustrating but might be worth the wait. If he's genuinely ready he will ask to go even if wearing a nappy.

@Tothepoint99 thanks for your reply! Maybe I'll give it a break for a bit and try again - after looking things up everything just seemed to say it can normally take months and months so you assume you just have to keep going!

Might be a bit early, but probably worth leaving him pantless and using the potty at home when you can as that will speed it up as he builds the habit.

But before you ditch it have you tried a chocolate button every time he does it? or (weirdly) the treat of blowing bubbles for her daughter worked for one friend.

IME 90% of the potty training process happens within a couple of weeks when they are ready. The remaining 10% or so is generally the odd accident in specific scenarios, out and about, etc. If it feels like it's stalled then I would give it a break for a bit. Let him be naked sometimes so he doesn't get out of the habit of the potty, and try to introduce pants again in a couple of months.

Is he at nursery? Worth speaking to them too - they sometimes have good strategies for assisting with potty training, and DD was certainly keener to do it when all her wee pals at nursery were starting to use the toilet instead.

Thanks everyone! It's actually really helpful getting everyone's opinions! DS is starting nursery in September and we have holidays in July hence us wanting potty training sorted by then but it is what is it and if it takes longer then that's fine too :)

Honestly I’d give up and try in a few months. We totally thought DS was ready at 2.5, he wasn’t and ended up getting quite upset.

We left it until he was nearly 3.5 just due to circumstances. He nailed it in about 3 days.

I did DD way younger and we did it slowly but the really key thing was pants feel like nappies so it was asking for trouble to put them on. Bare bum till that was solid, then dresses or loose shorts, then leggings and only when she had it NAILED we put under wear on.

Also going to say stop. He's not ready.

Both mine were reliable with potty within days when they were ready. DS was almost 3. We tried at 2.5 for him and he just wasn't ready.

Back to nappies and take your time. Nursery will take them in nappies so don't worry about that.

I'd say he's just a bit too young. We tried DS around that age and he just couldn't crack it. We tried again at 2.8 and he got it within a weeks, barely any accidents.

I'm no expert. But I waited until both of my boys were almost 3 and they were competently potty trained within the week.

When you say training pants, so you mean pull ups? Take him out of them and see how you get on. It means taking 5 million changes of clothes when you leave the house.

Can he also dress himself? There's no point potty training a child you can't dress themselves.

With my kids I found I had to remind them to go frequently. About to leave the house, wee. Arrive at destination, wee. 45 minutes later, wee. Throughout the day.

If he can ask and go by himself don't go back to nappies now, maybe when you go out or whatever but not full time.

But try very loose very short shorts (may need to be From the girls section not sure). There's the feeling of something on his bottom, but very little actually gets caught.

And lots of practice taking shorts/pants off, if he wants to get undressed every 5 minutes at home, let him. Just make sure it's super clear he can take them off (with or without help) if he wants/needs too.

Thanks all! Yes he totally perfect if I leave him with nothing on his bottom half and asks to go to the big boy toilet or goes to the potty himself every time and asks me to wipe his bum 😅 never has an accident. It's just getting onto the next step. I did do putting him in loose shorts the other day and he did really well with that and took them down to use the potty each time so maybe I will try that for a bit then onto training pants ( I don't mean pull up nappies but actual potty training pants that just have a bit of padding to absorb a little but stay wet ) and if it's not going well we can always wait try again in a month or two. I am reluctant to just put him back in nappies when he's perfectly happy and done so well with his potty? He's not upset by anything and is excited and happy when he does well and gives us high fives etc so maybe I would just keep it up like that at home cause it's no bother then try the whole pants thing again at a later date....

If he’s perfect as long as he’s bare bummed then I wouldn’t throw in the towel. I would, however, ditch the training pants, because they’re just reusable nappies by another name and they sound like they’re confusing him. I’d try really baggy joggers with no underwear. My DD got stuck at this stage too but once we figured out what the problem was, and bought joggers from the boys section (they’re generally looser than the girls ones), she was perfect out of the house too. It took us about 2 months to successfully move on to underwear but we did make it eventually!

@RandomQuest Thanks! Maybe it is just that they feel too much like nappies 🤦🏻‍♀️ they are quite padded but just washable now you put it like that!! I'd probably have been better off just getting him proper pants.

Will deffo try with loose shorts for a few days cause he was perfect with that the one time I did try it and then we can go from there! Feel so much better having read everyone comments and being able to consider every option that's worked for you all! Thanks so much 😌

But could that be because the kids just weren't ready when their potty training started.
My DS was around 3. Nursery said they thought he was ready to potty train and to think about putting him in underwear instead of nappies. We did. He had one poo accident, and probably one or two wee accidents, although I don't recall them! And that was it, potty "training" done for during the day. He wore a nappy at night for a few weeks longer as he alway woke up with a sopping wet nappy. Until the day he woke up dry, and then was dry for the next few mornings too. Got rid of overnight nappies from then. He has wet the bed a few times, but I think that's pretty standard kids accidents.
The eagerness to rush the process probably feeds in to the length of time it takes. Save yourself the frustration if it's not working.

@DropYourSword yeah you're deffo right, I think there's a lot of pressure to potty train at the earliest possible opportunity and I've deffo been made to feel like it should be done by the age of 3 already and before he starts nursery. I've stressed over it too much thinking people will wonder why he's not potty trained yet but I'm not going to push it if he's not comfortable or ready. Like I said luckily he's very happy with how it's going so far and enjoys the praise/stickers/treats surrounding it so we've had no issues in that respect. I've got a few ideas now on how I want to move forward and feel better even if we do stop for a bit!

The braggers will tell you it took little Tarquin 4 days. It's more like weeks and weeks that's only daytime!