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Original poster

A 'Baby Meet & Greet' party at 3 months old?

73 replies

Honeymint · 28/05/2022 18:15

I'm just looking for some advice. I'm just past 40 weeks pregnant and will be a first time parent.

My OH has been thinking about holding baby meet & greet party in 3 months time. When he first mentioned it I thought he meant a medium-sized event.
But I realised today when he described it as 'a wedding sized event' that he wants to host around 60 guests at our house at the end of August, with several families to stay the night as they'd be traveling from far away.

Since the baby hasn't even arrived yet, I have no idea what it'll be like, how the baby will be sleeping and feeding by this point. Plus I've been hearing a lot about how hard those first three months are.
He got the idea from a meet & greet my cousin held for her son's 1st birthday. (Due to lockdowns, barely any of the family had met him at that point) It was a great day, but he was 1 and there were 30 guests.

It's not like I don't want an event to look forward to, but I said perhaps closer to 6 months and perhaps with fewer people? He's upset now because he was really looking forward to it.

I really don't know what to say. I don't want to be a party-pooper but I'm also wary of agreeing when I have no experience of being a parent! I have no frame of reference at all, so any advice is appreciated.

(As an aside, of course closer family and friends will have already met the baby by this point, but I suppose he's thinking it's a nice opportunity for people living further away and for a nice party.)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

megletthesecond · 28/05/2022 19:39

Stupid idea. You'll both have enough on your plate without sorting out a party.

Rayray18 · 28/05/2022 19:43

This sounds awful. Please don't make this a thing same as gender reveal parties etc! I definitely would not attend a baby meet and greet even if it was a close family or friend's baby - and would heavily judge the parents just for having one in the first place! At least a christening there is a point to it. But this just sounds like you want to show off your baby for attention...

ChaosMoon · 28/05/2022 19:44

Come to think of it, we held Dad's Naming Day at 3 months. Slightly smaller, but we all had a great time.

I think people are getting very caught up with the name and this being weirdly negative about the principle. But it really is little different to a christening.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3rd trimester Families General parenting General pregnancy

Johnnysgirl · 28/05/2022 19:46

ChaosMoon · 28/05/2022 19:44

Come to think of it, we held Dad's Naming Day at 3 months. Slightly smaller, but we all had a great time.

I think people are getting very caught up with the name and this being weirdly negative about the principle. But it really is little different to a christening.

It bears no resemblance to a christening

Doginthewindow · 28/05/2022 19:49

Besides from that it sounds bonkers, do you think it is a good idea to pass a baby around amongst 60 people, with the rs virus being so common?

FlibbertyGibbitt · 28/05/2022 19:51

First three months are cotton wool months, so you’ll be catering, setting up, tidying up , no drinking, I’d say no. Let him sort it if he wants but does everything

roarfeckingroarr · 28/05/2022 19:53

I did this - a champagne party with canapés and all the cheese/pate I couldn't eat during pregnancy. It was like a baby shower but once baby's here - and you can actually enjoy yourself rather than sitting uncomfortably, feeling a bit scared of what's to come. It was lovely - and people bought (unrequested) gifts!

User3568975431146 · 28/05/2022 19:54

That is completely bonkers!! Whatever next!

MajorCarolDanvers · 28/05/2022 19:54

Sounds like a christening but without the christening.

We did ours at 4 months.

Christening in church followed buffet in local hotel for about 60 people.

scrivette · 28/05/2022 19:56

When DS1 was about 2 weeks I sort of did this. It was summer so I invited DH's side of the family (about 20) over on the same day so they could all be here on one day rather than coming over in drinks and drabs over the next few weeks. It worked really well.

TheSnowyOwl · 28/05/2022 19:58

Must admit I’ve never heard of a meet and greet but suppose I can see the similarities to a christening.

Three month olds are easy. You’ll see many people recommending it as one of the best ages for foreign travel and with good reason.

Just get some caterers in and book a housekeeping company so if you don’t feel up to hosting, you can get someone else to set up the rooms and clean them afterwards.

DockOTheBay · 28/05/2022 19:59

Meet and greet is a weird term, it sounds like the baby will be sitting on a throne as people come by and shake his hand one by one.

However, I think the idea of a celebration of the babys birth without being a religious Christening is a good idea. Like the party bit of a christening without the ceremonial bit.

Luredbyapomegranate · 28/05/2022 19:59

It’s insane.

Is he a Real Hpusewives fan or something?? It’s worse than a baby shower and that’s saying something. Don’t inflict this on your friends and family, they will likely come if it’s your first, but they will hate it.

CorpusCallosum · 28/05/2022 19:59

I've heard this kind of thing called a sip and see which in principle is a nice idea. Although, there's absolutely no need to plan it or spread the word to guests until after the baby is here and you see what you're dealing with.

DockOTheBay · 28/05/2022 20:01

At least a christening there is a point to it
I would argue that a christening is entirely pointless

AliceW89 · 28/05/2022 20:02

I don’t think the idea is awful. I would have been a state if my DH had organised it for us - my mental health was in the gutter at 3 months PP and DS had only just stopped screaming at every waking minute. But I appreciate that’s not everyone’s experience. My main issue is you hosting 60 people in your house (I assume by house you mean massive garden with a marquee unless you live in a mansion?). I would definitely hire somewhere that sorts out all the logistics that you can literally just turn up to. Having it at home sounds like such a stress.

ProclivityForPyrotechnics · 28/05/2022 20:02

This is a joke right? You want your baby to meet it's family at 6 months old?

Johnnysgirl · 28/05/2022 20:06

DockOTheBay · 28/05/2022 20:01

At least a christening there is a point to it
I would argue that a christening is entirely pointless

Your argument is both pointless and distasteful. Is there any bloody need?

Babyboomtastic · 28/05/2022 20:12

We did this when my first was 3 weeks old.

It was smaller (about 30 people came), and we had afternoon tea type food and then a bbq for those that stayed into the evening. I think it lasted about 10 hours in the end and went on well into the evening - our choice obviously.

I organised it and baked for it (newborn in sling) and had a fantastic time. My husband and parents thought I was being overly optimistic but it was really very fine.

I'd been housebound for most of my pregnancy with severe SPD, and so being able to catch up on lost time with friends was wonderful.

I think it's too much of you had a gender reveal thing, followed by a baby shower, followed by this and then a christening, so it depends on what if anything you've done/planning to do.

Ps: I was more rested at 3 weeks into parenthood than at a year. In hindsight the first 3 months were definitely the easiest time for us to do it.

GettingItOutThere · 28/05/2022 20:18

honestly it sounds like hell. I am not into babies being passed around and thats exactly what will happen. All 60 people snotting over your child
no thanks.

let the people who want to meet your child meet him/her inthe first few months

Lowkeyloopy · 28/05/2022 20:19

I’m sorry OP, this really made me laugh! I have a 3 month old and would no sooner do this than fly to the moon.

There are obvs a few factors here - what your baby is like, what you’re like and what you’re willing to put up with and have your baby put up with.

My DS is a happy, chirpy boy who sleeps well at night so I’m lucky not to be suffering from too much sleep deprivation. I could probably find the time to plan something like this if I could be arsed. But I’d probably have to neglect the laundry, pumping, washing up and other household tasks my DS requires. Or my DH would plan it all and not help out with laundry etc and I’d just resent him for spending so much time on an event that our DS will get absolutely nothing from - zilch.

Also at 3 months DS has just discovered how interesting the world is and doesn’t like napping. The world is super stimulating and he will take it all in and then not manage to sleep and get cranky. Not his fault - that’s just being a baby. But when we have visitors round when he’s missed a nap or is due a nap, that’s quite stressful as they’re expecting a playful and gorgeous baby to coo over and play with, but they might get an overtired baby arching his back in their arms and shouting in their faces. You have no control over what kind of baby you will have and what mood they will be in that day and there’s no magic button you can press to make them nap at this age. Their wake windows are around 2 hours max, then they get overtired. Tbh I’m picturing you sitting in a corner feeding the baby as the only way to calm them down, and adjusting their noise cancelling headphones while your DH catches up with all his pals.

As much as it can be overwhelming having lots of visitors in the earlier days, that is definitely the time to do it. They bring you food (!) and the baby is so sleepy as a newborn it can be passed around easily even when asleep, and they’re asleep most of the time and don’t care about lights and noise. They also haven’t quite worked out the difference between parents and strangers yet so aren’t capable of getting clingy. Also not ideal at a party where you want them to be handed around.

I love and enjoy my 3 month old so much (and he’s a “good” baby!) but this would still be my idea of hell. But if you do it, good luck and I hope it goes well!

SparkyBlue · 28/05/2022 20:20

I assume if you are having this then you aren't having a christening and party so this is the same type of thing really.

MassiveSalad22 · 28/05/2022 20:23

I think it’s a nice idea. A ‘sip n see’ it’s called in the states, I think.

3 months is fine. My baby is not quite 2 months and it’s a totally chilled time. Perfectly capable of chatting for a day :) although it will be overwhelming for your baby if it’s passed around all day, so I wouldn’t allow that. We moved house when my first was 7 weeks old, it’s really fine, it’s not like life stops and you’ll be incapable of anything else. Obviously some people are and have terrible complications but chances are it will all be good.

Beseen22 · 28/05/2022 20:49

I threw a sip and see for my SIL. She had a really tough time with her first and really struggled feeding because she is very private and everytime someone would turn up at the house to visit the baby they would stay for hours and she didn't want to feed in front of them. So I arranged a small morning party when her second was about 6 weeks old. We had pastries and procesco and fruit. She absolutey loved it and she could give an invite to all the aunties and her mums friends that were desperate to meet the baby to take all the pressure off at first. It was just ladies though, don't suppose it makes major difference.

MintyMoocow · 28/05/2022 20:52

Just christen the kid while you are at it.

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