shit, shit shit !! only just started childminding and just found out im pregnant,we are totally broke please help me

[babiesrangels]

im really scared dh is gonna go mad, we cannot afford another baby ive only just managed to get my first mindee

will i be able to claim maternity or anything?

shit shit shit

haven't told dh yet, thats why ive name changed

we have one dd 4 years old.and we are quite broke

oh i really hope someone is up, ive gone into a blind panic

this was not planned

stop panicking.........altho I appreciate that right now you are.

and breath!!!!

you can childmind and be able to have a baby.....and altho maternity rights may have changed in recent memory you should still be able to claim something as long as you are working for 28wks before you start maternity leave.

am sure someone here will be able to advise on money etc while childminding....if need e do over to the childminding/nanny boards for some advise.

Hi babiesrangels

Can't help with the maternity pay situ but hopefully someone will be along in a minute.

I'm sure dh will not go mad, I thought the same when expecting no 3 and he was actually pretty pleased with himself after getting over the initial shock - now she's here wouldn't have it any other way.

Although babies can be expensive, being loved is far more important to them than anything you could give materially.

As I said to someone else recently, if there is anything you need, you can't afford there are plenty of us mn'ers who will be quite happy to raid our lofts/garages for you.

If you just need to chat, fire away!

the thing is i had a mc recently which was also unplanned but i was v happy dh not so

hes gonna think ive done it on purpose.but i havent

to be totally honest i think he will only worry about money

dont worry turn off your pc now and talk to your dh

loads of childminders childmind with their own baby and your own son should be at school by the time baby arrives and your mindee (dont know how old) will be settled by the time you have baby

is there any childminders near you?

some childminders are happy to help with mat cover and holidays we have 3-4 childminders near me that we all help out so parents are left without childcare

Sorry to hear about m/c.

If dh does say anything you really should point out the basic facts - it takes two!!!

We were pretty broke when I was expecting too (esp with no 1) but friends and family rally round and usually come up with buggies/cots and things that aren't any use to them any more.

Tbh it does sound as if you are more worried about dh's reaction than you are about the money side of things.

Hey Babies,

Cant offer advice on maternity etc. but I remember going into blind panic when I found out I was pregnant again (VERY unexpected)

I now cannot imagine my life without him!!

Do what I did and go and take a look at your daughter and then ask yourself how something so gorgeous could be bad.
You may not have loads of money but YOU WILL cope, you will probably have a lot of stuff from dd1 and you can get loads of good 2nd hand stuff now.

You will be ok to childmind for months yet, it may be a bit harder than you have planned but you will at least get some money behind you and can go back to it after baby is born.
Why do you think DH will go mad??

Look at it this way hun, of all the shitty things that could happen, is this the worst ??

I really hope you dont get yourself too worked up over this, I remember thinking how the hell will I cope with another one but he is a little star and I feel daft forworrying now. Ive been fairly broke since I had 1st son 10 years ago, they have drained every spare penny I have but I borrowed most of the things that babies need for first few months and got some bargains from internet that cost half the price they do in shops so it can be done.

Do you want this baby? If you are undecided then try to sleep on it and see how you feel in the morning but tell DH, he may surprise you. Good luck hun

im only worried about money and i know dh main worry will be money although after the mc we said we will wait awhile

ive just though its funny what ive changed my name to isnt it,quite telling i suppose like the first thing that came into my head

shit ive really gotta go and talk to dh im gonna try and tell him

good point about everyone railing around and borrowing things

As cantseemyfeet said, maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised after talking to dh.

Good luck, will be thinking of you.

you can cm through preg have a break and the go back your older one will soon be 5 which enables you to have 2 mindees and your baby (unless its triplets........joke) it will be fine

i got pg with out first not long after dh and i had moved into a rented place together i was 19 dh was 21 (not ideal) but we got over it and loved him to bits then when ds was 5mths old i got pg again (very ) but again we coped now 10yrs on we have 2 wonderful children
like i said no time is ever good to have a child their is always something that needs doing

Okay, I can understand where you are, and I really wiswh I could help.

2 years ago,last nov 2005 i found out i was pregnant, i had 2 DS's aged 2 and 3 and had just started childminding and i had a nightmare worrying about how i would tell my mindee how i was pregnant - especially as i didn't want to continue to childminding after i had had my 3rd baby - but it was fine and they were actually lovely about it all... I now have a beautiful 1 year old DD.

AND luckily on a money perspective I found out that I had paid enough n i contibutions to qualify for statutory maternity pay (I had started paying before I had actually started cminding )-
if you can, please ring your benefits office and get the low down on your entitlement as it could make a massive difference. Hope this helps

told dh about 3am last night, as i couldn't sleep, he was suprised and yes like i thought said he was worried about money.
although i did notice he kept smiling all the time

im glad ive told him,just need to win the lotto now !

ill post back on here tomorrow as i do not want him to see i posted this on MN 1st, hes having a wash atm as we got up late

If you are registered self employed, which I guess you must be as a childminder, and were working for at least a week before your last period (that is 26 weeks before the 15th week before your due date if that makes sense) you will get maternity allowance.

It's flat rate - about £104 a week or thereabouts. You don't get the six weeks at 90% of earnings though. You get that for up to nine months if you are not working.

Congratulations!