Teaching a preschooler about road safety

[detachablehoof]

My 3yo DD is not very good at doing what she is told 😑and this scares me when we walk to /from nursery. It's a short walk and mostly quiet/safe residential roads but we do have to cross over a main road. I insist on her holding my hand when we cross, but it always seems to be a fight, and she has suddenly sat down on the road a couple of times because she's cross I won't let go of her. She also likes to run / scoot ahead of me on the pavement which I don't mind but I don't like her to go too far ahead, and she won't always stop when I ask her to. It seems like the more fuss I make the more she pushes the boundaries (not just with the school run!) and I'd like some advice on how to teach her about road safety in an age appropriate way.

She's a bright kid and articulate, she knows what I want her to do.... just seems to be going through a patch of enjoying being awkward for a reaction! Doesn't help that I'm pregnant and not very good at running after her.

She would probably take more notice of a video or a story book if anyone can recommend one.

You need to hold her hand. Not just crossing, the whole way. It's absolutely not worth the risk. You wouldn't let an excitable puppy off the lead in the same situation would you? Because there's an utter lack of impulse control and road sense, and a constant instinctive drive to test boundaries. You need to be the parent and be in control in this situation. She can choose, she holds your hands or she wears baby reins/goes in a buggy, but it's a straight choice between those options, and if she refuses to make a choice it's either the buggy or you carry her.

I used toddler reins with both my DDs, and also (from very young) got them involved in making road safety decisions. “Tell mummy if there’s a car coming” “Is this a safe place to cross, can we see clearly here?” “Let’s look both ways, and you tell me if it’s clear.” Etc, etc, until good kerb drill became a habit. I think they enjoyed being asked to assess the traffic, and to be given responsibility for deciding on when we crossed, rather than me just ordering them across. I always had the final say, of course, but rarely needed to stop them.

With that dynamic I would absolutely not let her scoot or run. I’d be tempted to stick her back in a pram until she could be trusted to hold your hand.

If she won’t hold your hand, reins or you hold her hood.

With DD she LOVES rules and justice so what worked was calling crossing on the red man “being sneaky” and “cheating” and she gets absolutely furious if anyone tries.

She also loves the spinny button for blind people on the base of pedestrian crossing buttons and will happily wait to cross while holding it.

I taught mine to walk sensibly by allowing them short periods of not holding my hand but they had to do exactly as I said. If they didn't do as they were told then they had to hold my hand again for the rest of the journey then we'd try again the next time. One chance only.

Tbh at 3 I would be holding hands near any roads. My 4yo is now allowed to not hold my hand when we are walking next to quiet roads (has to hold my hand near busier roads or when crossing) but he has to stay beside me. This is only fairly recently though and after proving that he understands that roads are dangerous and that he will do as he's told. At 3 he was only allowed to walk without holding hands or go ahead of me on footpaths that aren't near any roads.

Thanks all - some good tips and perspective!
If we take a slightly longer route we could use a traffic light pedestrian crossing over the only busy road, so I think I'll try that as of tomorrow!

She goes in the pram if she can't behave, no debate. Try again next week, remind her, give her one chance and then turn round, go back and stick her in the pram.