Should I be trying to 'declingify' my one year old??

[PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt]

She's dreadful - I can't leave the room and if I do, I can just about manage a quick wazz but there are shouts and screams and all sorts. I can't cook / make her any kind of meal without her sitting on my hip and she wants me to play with her constantly. She's been like this for months.

Should I be training her to be able to play on her own or something or should I be giving her my undivided attention to build her trust and confidence?

She's only 12 months old - that's only 52 weeks! Go with it - she'll grow out of it. If you try and train her to be more independent, it's probably take exactly the same amount of time as it would take just to live with it until she moves on to the next phase...!

I am about to have a year off with my (not yet here) baby. If she is very clingy how do you suggest I prepare her for child care when she is about 1 year old? I can't afford to be a SAHM for any longer than that, but I don't want to make her all unhappy.

My dd has also been like this for months. 23 of them. She's now 23 months old .

Will she play happily without you when you're out at toddler groups? My dd is generally very independent at those, so we go a lot!

Seriously, my dd has got a lot better since she was 12 months old, but still has to grow out of some of it. I would wait for her to grow out of it, but encourage any independence that she shows.

Is she walking yet? That helped a lot with dd too (she was an early walker).

I would also recommend a funpod (much to the disgust of most MNers ) to ease the kitchen problems.

oh god my 10 month old DS is like this - a great shock to me as DD is resolutely unclingy, and generally couldn't give a monkeys whether I'm there or not

is he going to be like this for the forseeable then?

cut my finger open on a tin of lentils the other night because I was trying to make dinner with one hand

(now there's a Mumsnet accident)

Agree seeker although sympathies as I was going to say 'it's all a phase...' but see you have been experiencing this for some time so although it is a phase, I don't want you to throw your keyboard at me.

Tried any strategies like toys in corner of kitchen, nursery rhymes on (or you singing) while you cook so you are nearby?

Know someone with similarly clingy toddler (almost 2) but she has been in and out of this phase and eventually gets comfortable in toddler groups, creche etc, but takes time.

Think of all the things you are learning to do one-handed, it's a great skill...

It's definitely a phase, this exact form willprobably not last long, but she will want you close for a while (she's supposed to you're her mum!).

My DS1 was very clingy, now at 6 he's much too grown up to be seen with Mum and insists I leave him at the school gate and watch him go into class from there.

Mine is one next week and he's quite clingy too. I use a door bouncer in the kitchen and manage to get a few things done but some days I cook dinner while he has a daytime nap and then I can just heat it up later.

Actually I have come to realise this is a great way to do it, there is something very satisfying about just putting dinner in the oven at that time of day when you're knackered. Obviously it doesn't work for all food.

DD wasn't like this but ds1 was. I try to accept that this is how he needs to be atm but it's hard some days. I do all sorts of ridiculous things when he's with dh or dcs like leaping past the doorway or ducking when he comes past as once he sees me thats it for whatever job I'm doing that requires hands.

It is very hard when lo's are like this, but the reason they are like this is because they do not have the capacity to understand that you are going to come back.

Therefore trying to unclingify them will not work and only make their insecurities worse - because they were right all along, you have left them and you're not coming back - iyswim!

Thank you for all your replies and it's FAB to know that I'm not the only one and that also I'm fine to be going with the flow. It's very reassuring!!!!!