What am I doing wrong?

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Sleep deprivation is causing me to be extremely emotional so apologies if I seem dramatic

DD is 5mo as of tomorrow. The last month or month and a half she needs settling pretty much nearly every hour. To stop this I’ve been co sleeping (following lullaby trust guidelines) but she is waking for milk more than she did as a newborn??

I am drained. I’ve tried to settle repeatedly, she just hates her cot (bedside) all of a sudden I don’t know what to do

I tried her in the cot in her nursery because I thought she may need more space (I slept on the floor and would do if she took to it until 6mo) but she woke after an hour and wouldn’t go back In

we don’t particularly have a routine I didn’t want to be strict in one this early on as we attend a lot of baby groups and they’re different times so didn’t want a routine dictating if she could go to certain classes. do I need to try and put one in place?

i don’t know what to do this is my first baby I feel like a failure I’ve been up every hour the past 2 weeks I’m exhausted

Oh no - there really is nothing worse than sleep deprivation. You must be exhausted.

If cosleeping was getting you enough sleep (even if she now needs more milk), I would stick with that for now to spare you a sleep on the floor. I wouldn't be too worried about her needing more feeds - they do go in and out of little phases. Do what you need to maximise the sleep you both get.

I would say she's old enough for a rough routine. Within the next month or six weeks she will be showing signs of readiness to wean so there will naturally be more of a routine forming as she begins to eat a little around breakfast and lunch. Keep going to your classes for sanity, see if any pattern forms as you follow her lead on naps/eating and I think you will begin to see the routine forming.

Hang on in there. This torturous bit may well be a distant memory in the next fortnight. You're doing a good job!

All that to say... You're not doing anything wrong, you just have a baby!

You're doing nowt wrong. Babies are babies are babies. Most of them aren't sleeping very 'well' at 5mo. They go through phases. My 7 mo's sleep went haywire at the 5 month mark, before then he was sleeping well. Now he's up loads of times most nights and is currently having 3 night feeds when he was only having 1-2 between 3-5 months old. It is exhausting but it will all pass - I know this as I also have a nearly 4 yo. Altho she also wakes at least once most nights for the past year!

I agree you’re doing nothing wrong. Some children are good sleepers but others just aren’t. It’s luck of the draw. Safe cosleeping kept vaguely sane.

What’s her napping like?

about that age, DS kind of let us know he was ready for a routine. It’s not always ideal, but hé became more predictable and we got our evenings back. Some days it goes out of whack because we are late back from something or I want to go out for a whole day somewhere, but most days we try and stick to it as best we can and we always, always do bedtime wind down starting at 6 and he’s in bed at 7. Hé doesn’t sleep through, but the wake ups are getting much less frequent. So no you don’t ‘need’ to implement a routine, but if yours is falling into a rough kind of pattern I’d try and see if you can implement one at least on most days, personally.

My boy is a pretty good sleeper (nights only). He's had a couple of phases where he's up every SINGLE sleep cycle throughout the night.

It's a phase. You'll get through it!!!