Best time for grandparents to visit new baby?

[trrk]

We're expecting our first child and pretty much our entire families live on the other side of the world about as far away as its possible to get. My parents are excited to meet their first grandchild and planning a visit to the UK (also with my sister + partner) which will last around 3 weeks. It will also be the first time we have been able to see them since before Covid. They can either come mid August when the baby will be 1 month old or mid-October at 3 months. Which option do you think I should encourage? The weather will be nicer for being outdoors in August but I'm worried it will be too soon to have people around constantly for 3 weeks if we are super sleep deprived or having problems with feeding etc. I tend to be pretty crap and zomblie like when sleep deprived so don't know if I'll appreciate them being there at all at that point. Hopefully they would provide some support at home and not expect us to cook for them etc but our flat is also pretty tiny and will be very cramped with so many people around if we are mostly at home at that point. They will be staying in an AirBnB but I imagine they will still want to spend lots of time at ours. Would the 3 month point be better as we hopefully might have a bit more of a routine and be able to get out of the house more or even go on a short trip together with them for some of the time?

When the baby is 6 years old, both of these options are too soon.

Likely pros and cons for either date!! Remember your family love you and I bet ime when dc arrives you will be dying to show it off!! August is a great month!!
Outdoor eating means less mess!!

I think it depends on your relationship with them. Many people want their mums around at the start to help with the early days. Do you have any support at the start? Is DH off on paternity leave? It's very tough doing it all yourself especially if you have birth injuries so the 1 month point might be better.

I was in exactly the same situation last year when I had DD. My in laws came at 3 months as I didn't want them around while I had my breasts out learning how to feed. My DM is here now 8 months after the birth. The first 3 months alone were a struggle and not ideal tbh.

This probably depends on a few things. How close are you to them? Do you like them? Will they help? Will they expect things of you like food?

Because if they are going to be helpful like bringing food for themselves and for you, understanding that you need to be at the center of things and being more than willing to go home to their Airbnb if you ask them to, going shopping for you etc, then having them around early could be to your advantage. If you think they are not up for that level of support and sensitivity though go for the later date.

When would they prefer to come? To be honest, it's impossible to predict how you and your baby will be at each of those stages, so it's hard to know which will be best for you. I had one baby who was hard work at one month, and one that was easy then, but harder at 3 months.

Would your family rather see the baby asap, or when it's more responsive and smiley?

I’d say 3 months, the baby will be a bit more interesting, they’ll be able to interact a bit more and you’ll probably be getting out and about a bit more. And might be glad of people to hold the baby while you get on with stuff.

At 1 month I was spending all day sitting on the sofa watching tv with the baby asleep on me, in between breastfeeding. I wouldn’t have wanted visitors at that point particularly.

But every baby and every one is different.

I would have killed for my mum to be staying nearby when DS was 1 month old! If your parents are supportive and helpful, I'd have them then, when the weather is nicer too so you can go out.

I think 3 months. If baby is late then they may only be a few weeks old at the earlier date.

Unless you need the support then 1 month.

If they are coming to help you with the baby, then 1 month. If they are coming for a nice family visit, do at the 3 month mark

3 months.

At 1 month old Ds was literally feeding on and off all day, and I wouldn’t have wanted him away from me.

At 3 months you can have time to establish life a bit more, and you will probably be more comfortable with letting family take baby for a short walk locally without you, and baby is more interactive with people ie more awake, can be played with more.

Also. If 1 month, if your baby is late (2 weeks potentially), or any hospital stay needed for any reason then you might have only been home a week

Depends on your relationship. Mine were waiting for me at the house when I left the hospital. I passed baby to them then collapsed upstairs to (finally) sleep! They helped me out a lot with nights in that first month when DP was working nights himself and baby was a colicky and I was struggling.

At 3 months you'll be more settled into a routine, plus there's sufficient time to recover before their visit if baby is overdue.

Depends how much support you'll get from them.

If they'll really be a huge help, then the sooner the better.

If you'll have to do things for them, then the later the better in my opinion.