4mo old has become too reliant on dummy

[Scottishbump85]

Let me start by saying I never wanted my baby to have a dummy in the first place, but here we are!

Anyway, for the past 2 nights she has been waking through the night and the only thing that will settle her is her dummy. The problem is every time it falls out she wakes and cries for it. This is a new thing, it previously never bothered her through the night and would often go to bed without it. I’m aware this could be the 4mo sleep regression and it might pass, but I’m also worried this is her start of a bad habit.

Anyone got any success stories of getting rid of the dummy through the night?

Also, just to add that she’s definitely nor hungry. That’s not the issue. She stopped night feeds at 13 weeks and doesn’t take her morning bottle until an hour after she’s up for the day!

Never heard of a baby stopping night feeds at 13 weeks and NEVER having one again. She could be having a growth spurt and be hungry. Things are going to change a lot over the next 2 years, you need to go with the flow-try not to be so rigid!
Ime taking the dummy away will have the same amount of stress for you as keeping it. But if you keep it- your baby won't be as stressed. At 4 months I'm guessing she's in your room, can't you have a side car cot so You can just roll over and pop it back in half asleep? Have a big pile of dummies in the cot so you're not having to find it in the dark.
They reduce SIDS risk as well so there's that positive.

And don't beat yourself up about your baby having a dummy. You're only bothered by other peoples opinions, which don't matter. Your babies happiness and development matters more. They are a great tool if only used for sleeping and carefully removed at the right stage in their development.

Thanks for the reply. I’m not actually worried what people think, it’s my broken sleep I’m worried about haha!

Yes she is still in our room in her Moses basket so it’s not like I have to go into another room but I struggle to get back to sleep and it seems as every time I’m just dozing off she’s awake again needing the dummy back!

i just don’t want this to be a continuous thing and was thinking it might be better to nip it in the bud now.

4 months??

Some babies need a dummy, some dont

Let her be. Are you sure shes not hungry?

@iex yes I’m pretty sure she’s not hungry. She doesn’t wake up hungry in the morning so surely she’d be inconsolable if she’d been hungry all night, no?

Ah, she's still so tiny. I'd let her have the dummy. Once she's a bit older, she'll be able to put it back in herself. DC has a glow in the dark one which helped massively. But I'm not super anti-dummies though. I would have thought she could have been hungry too, 14 weeks seems quite young to be night weaned. But seems like you're sure she isn't.

You either need to just take the dummy away now or get through this stage. My friend took her daughters away, had a difficult few nights and then never used it again. I had a difficult period popping it back in and now he does it himself and its fine.

I have to agree with others though that maybe she needs sometimg else. My LB slept through the night from 2-4 months so no night feeds then they started up again at this age. Continued night feeds until 13 months.

...have you tried feeding her?

Mum used to lay me face down so I couldn't spit my dummy out. But I'm fairly certain (as in 100%) that that's not a good idea.

She's hungry. Babies don't stop night feeds at 13 weeks unless they sleep through, which clearly she isn't doing. Give her some milk. Dummies are great for reducing the risk of SIDS so I couldn't worry about her having a dummy at this age.

If she's waking through the night and crying, she's hungry.

We had the same issue... it doesn't last forever, they get good at putting their dummy in surprisingly fast! You could try a dummy chain if you're happy with that, or sometimes we used to put a rolled up muslin by her face (she had her head on one side) so it didn't drop right out.
Dummies are a wonderful tool for sleep!

My first son started waking every 45mins for his dummy at 4 months -3 months later I took the dummy away. 1 horrible night and then the next night he slept 6 hours straight and then the next night 12 hours! Im not saying he never woke in the night again but it was amazing difference. When my second started doing the same at 4 months i thought no way am I waiting 3 months BUT as I was a lot less sleep deprived this time around i did it the gentle way described in the little ones programme which actually was pretty painless and we never looked back. I completely stopped using them in the day first though which i appreciate can be difficult. Now they are 4 and 2 im so glad i did it as friends had/ are having a nightmare getting them off toddlers. Good luck!

@Hallyup89 she was sleeping through with no waking up until 2 nights ago. I promise! Some babies do sleep through this young.

Many are commenting that she’s hungry. I’m really quite confident that she’s not. She wakes in the morning happy and won’t take her bottle straight away. I mean, I am happy to offer her milk to eliminate that, but I’m so sure it’s the dummy she’s after! Another thought is that she’s maybe outgrowing her Moses basket as I often hear her whacking her arms against the sides!

@Allaboutmilo can you tell me more about the gentle way please?

Ahhhhhhhhh I did exactly this at around 4 months old. I’m now nearly 30 and I’m pretty sure my mother still hasn’t fully forgiven me. 😂 She let it go on for a couple of weeks until the paediatrician told her to go cold turkey and Ferber me. It worked.

She put the fear of God into me and I never gave my DCs a dummy. That said, they all went through the usual waking-up-every-hour thing at 4 months anyway. I sleep trained the older two but kept one night feed until 7 months, and my third we night weaned at 5 months. I was late to night wean among most of my friends. Only on Mumsnet are kids expected to BF through the night until university 😂

You know your baby. If you really think she isn’t hungry, then try looking into different approaches for teaching her to self-sooth without the dummy. We did a gentle “ladder” approach with our older two, and Ferber with our youngest. I always mentally prepared myself for a traumatizing battle of wills, but actually sleep training was pretty much a non-event, and a huge sanity-saver!

As many people said to me...it's easier to remove a dummy than remove a thumb! Some babies are just very sucky and get a lot of comfort from it. This phase will pass and it won't be too long before she will be able to put it in herself and you won't have to do it for her.

At 4 months I'd also think she's outgrowing her Moses basket so I'd move to a bigger cot (still in your room obvs)

@UpToMyElbowsInDiapers had to laugh at the university comment 😂

@snowflake29 we don’t have space for her cot in our room 🥺

Can you sleep in her room? She really shouldn't be sleeping alone.

I removed the dummy at six months first two were never too bothered by then about it. Used only as a sleep aid for nighttime not as a way to shut child up 🙄 10month old using dummy now at night as I’ve struggled with sleep and routines having three. Going to bite the bullet soon and chuck them away! Baby will find another way to settle if you remove dummy.

I would move a four month old into own cot in own room with a baby monitor inless there is any worry over health.

@MolliciousIntent she isn’t! She’s still in our room for now.

@birdglasspen thanks! I’ll see how tonight goes and then make a plan I think 😬

Its quite long winded but first off get rid in the day and comfort in another way ie cuddle/rock/bounce etc.
then for sleep/naps i stopped giving the dummy just as they are getting sleepy and the whole time would rock and pat his bum. Then i would get rid of the dummy completely and rock and pat his bum. Then i would stand and hold while patting his bum. Then sit and hold while patting bum and then eventually in cot just patting bum. Once he was q bit older he would settle himself solo. It took about 2/3 weeks as i tried to make sure he was completely happy before moving on.
sounds a bit stupid but it worked for me. And was deff better than cold turkey that i did with my eldest where i was in with him for 3hours while he screamed his head off while i tried to console him. It worked too and i doubt he remembers it so no judgement if you go that route.