Returning/breastfeeding

[M24L]

I'm due to return to work a week after DDs 1st birthday. Currently still breastfeeding along with 3 meals and 2 snacks a day (2 weeks away from being 10 months old).

I'm returning part time but will be away from DD 2 full working days and half of a day.

I enjoy breastfeeding so much and persevered so hard to get to where we are as there was so many complications at the beginning.

At the moment DD basically still feeds on demand wether it be for comfort or actually feeding. She is probably having breast around 4-8 times a day just depending on the day and situation.

I tried to express and due to complications etc it just wasn't working for us and I was only ever able to get small amounts from the pump.

I'm just looking for some advice on what others done when returning to work? She will be 1 so could be introduced to cows milk but at the moment we are currently awaiting an assessment from a dietitian in regards to a cows milk allergy so not sure if that will be possible.

DD will be going to a childminder for the days I'm at work and I'm just really hoping to try and get her into a routine before she goes but struggling to establish a possible routine for when she tends to feed. As I said it is pretty much on demand only times that tend to be regular are nap times but she will still feed outwith nap times.

Sorry for the long post.

Join ‘breastfeeding yummy mummies’ group on Facebook. Cringe name for the group but amazing advice! Well done on bf for this long and I hope it goes well for you ❤️

At 1 she doesn't actually need it for nutrition so will be fine to go without it during the day and have cows milk or any allergy-suitable alternative. If she's dependent on BF to get to sleep you might want to think about changing that now, but the childminder will have ways round that too.

Don't worry that going back to work will mean BF needs to stop - you can feed her at either end of the day still, though you might find she wakes more to feed through the night.

I wouldn't worry about pumping for a 1yr old but you might find you need to hand express a little at work to relieve any engorgement.

Also, and probably most importantly, remember that SO MUCH will change in the next 2 months, it's a long time in the life of a baby. At 10m my DD was a boob fiend, by 12m she'd weaned herself completely with zero prompting from me.

At that age she doesn't need it on demand. Try and cut down to regular feeds at the same time every day. My 10mo get 2 strict (but long!) feeds and that's it - everything else is water and solids

@Perpop thank you but unfortunately I don't have a fb or any form of social media.

@MolliciousIntent she isn't dependent as such to get to sleep although it's me she is with the majority of the day so she does brestfeed to sleep but if DH is home and I'm out she will settle for him no problem. She only doesn't settle for him when I'm in the house and she can see me. At the moment she still wakes through the night anyway she goes down around 9ish and wakes between 1 and 4 then she sort of feeds on and off while co-sleeping until around 8am. I think I'm just worrying myself this is the first time I've BF and because it started during covid there wasn't much help so I've just sort of winged it from the start but don't want the childminder to have a time of it when I return to work. That's brilliant work from your DD, my oldest DD was the same in terms of formula she just stopped taking bottles herself but I just can't see DD2 stopping BF any time soon 🤣.

@Sbena how did you do the 2 strict feeds? DD has a sippy cup of water on demand and if she looks for BF I always offer her the water first just incase it's only because she's thirsty. She also has 3 regular meals and 2 snacks in between, sometimes a little bit more depending on her day. I do breakfast at half 8 and a snack around half 9 then she naps at 10 until half 11 then it's lunch at 12 another snack around half one then a nap at 2 until half 3 then we have tea around 5 and desert at 7 then it's bath and bed for 9.

You might find you can pump at a time when you’d normally be feeding. - so it’s possible ghat the pump won’t stimulate more milk production for you but it will help relieve engorgement for you. Ignore me of you’ve already tested this theory obviously!

I returned to work when DS was 9 months old & continued breastfeeding until he was 16 months.

I built up a freezer stash and expressed while at work. On the days we were together, he definitely fed more.

I will say that he was a totally different child at 9/10 months to 12/13 months when it came to eating. I stopped expressing and sending in milk at 13 months because he just didn’t need it in the day. He was eating enough, had a cup of milk or oat milk now and again and fed from me when we were together.

Plan for yourself when you're going to give her a full feed based on her needs eg breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper plus snacks. Give her milk at these times and just don't offer it outside of them. If she's unsettled then it's probably something other than hunger.

How often she actually needs feeding entirely depends on the baby. I'm quite lucky in that mine is very keen on solids, so last month I was able to drop his lunch feed by just not giving it to him and that was that. Planning on doing the same next month with his breakfast milk.

Maybe start with plenty of planned feeds and take your cue from your baby. It's usually fairly clear when she's ready to drop a feed. From what you've said it looks like she's a snacker! Mine used to be but the fewer feeds he has, the longer he spends on one session because he knows he won't get more for a while.

She should be fine with water and food while she's away from you- there's no need to pump or provide alternative milk for a one year old. (You might find you need/want to handexpress or pump a little for comfort).
You may find she tries to make up for your absence by feeding loads when you get home- but it will depend on the child...

There's also no need to limit feeds or have a routine about when exactly you breastfeed (unless you want to). Your daughter will adapt to the available options when you and breasts are there, and when you are not there.

At the moment I don't actually think she feeds due to hunger as it's always quick feeds, she does enjoy being BF when it's nap time which I suppose is a comfort for her but as stated previously she will go down for a nap for DH if I'm not present with just a gentle rock.

I just feel like I don't want the childminder to have to deal with a grumpy baby if she's looking to be BF but it isn't available.

I know it's a couple of months away and anything can change but just thought if there was anything I could implement now in the run up to her attending the childminder then we would have a couple of months to prepare.

I formula fed DD1 and returned to work when she was 6 months old and DH stayed at home so everything all just feels a bit new.

I returned to work 3 days a week when my DS was 14 months and still feeding on demand (he’s never had a bottle and I’ve never expressed, he’s also always fed to sleep for naps etc). He’s now 21 months and still feeds on demand! I just feed him before I drop him off then as soon as we got home he’ll ask to be fed. They adjust quickly and will be busy having lots of fun to distract them! Our childminder does offer a cup of milk but he doesn’t often drink it (you could try soya, oat milk, almond milk etc)

To add, I did nothing in the run up to returning to work. I “don’t offer don’t refuse” but DS loves breastfeeding so asks a lot! I was a little sore the first couple of days but it all settled down quickly

My son went to nursery at 9 months and we tried every bottle for months before to try to get him to have one at nursery but he wouldn't. I did two full days 6-6 and he coped fine. They attempted to give him my expressed milk but he didn't ever take it. So after a couple of weeks I didn't bother expressing. He carried on breastfeeding until he was 3. He usually wanted a feed as soon as he saw me, especially to start with but it was honestly so easy and I wish I hadn't worried so much about trying to force him to have a bottle!

I returned to work when DC2 was 6 months, but he breastfed until 22 months. I even did a fair bit of travel in there, 2-5 days away from home. I found he adjusted really easily, as did my body after a few weeks. I’d always have my pump with me in case I felt uncomfortable.

In the early days, I’d pump 2-3 times to relieve engorgement, then down to once a day, then I could actually go a few days without feeding or pumping but still not feel engorged and not struggle to BF when I got home (though DS obviously wasn’t relying on me for large quantities of milk by that stage!)

I found he’d adjust the size of his feed to meet his needs, based on what had happened during the day. So, weekends, he’d pretty much have milk when he wanted, probably 4-6 little feeds. On workdays, he’d tend to have one giant feed in the morning or evening. I didn’t have any “breastfeeding goals”, and I was ok with the idea of stopping, so we kind of just went with the flow, and it worked.

@LBB2020 this had made me feel so much better. This is the way my DD is she literally seeks the boob for any reason small feeds, long feeds, just a general drink after a meal, when she's tired or if she's hurt herself etc and I love the fact I'm her comfort so don't want her to lose that. I'll just continue on as we are and take it a day at a time, she is going to have some settle in days before going to the childminder for her full days so will see how she gets on for them.

@Cotswoldmama this was my worry also because I don't really want to give her a bottle at one but also didn't want her going without.

@UpToMyElbowsInDiapers thank you. I'm not sure how great my milk supply/production is so was quite worried if I was missing feeds that I would dry up as it was quite a task trying to establish a supply at the beginning. I had always said I only wanted to feed until she turned one but now that she's approaching 1 I'm not sure I'm ready to stop yet.

I could have written your posts word for word @M24L - my current situation is pretty much exactly the same as yours! This thread has made me feel so much better. I have been worrying about getting us both prepared for the dreaded day I have to leave her, but then worrying more about not having a clue how to prepare 😂

I don't have any valuable advice to offer, it's just comforting to know there are others in this similar predicament!

@clouddoveland it's such a horrible feeling isn't it. I am the same the stress and worry of trying to prepare and make sure everything is in place but not knowing what it is you need to do to prepare.

My DDs childminder had mentioned to me about putting a top or something belonging to me in her little bag for the days when she's at the childminders so she can still have some form of comfort and my scent. Not sure if that's something you had planned to do or not but it's a good idea and I'll be doing that for her.

Not to worry it's always helpful knowing your not alone in the situation and I hope some of the replies were able to help you a little as well.

I think my plan is to just go with the flow and take it a day at a time while DD is at the childminder. We will probably be worrying so much for absolutely nothing 💕

Hiya, my DD was BF on demand and not a massive eater. I went back to work when she was 10 months. She had food, water and formula offered during the day and didn't starve. I think she was too busy/distracted to think about BF when I wasn't there. She would feed a lot when I got home. I wouldn't worry about it too much. I didn't do much to prepare to be honest (she was going to GP not a child minder). Can you build up having some time away from your DC or KIT days to get used to it? The first few days will feel very strange but soon it'll be normal for you.

Also to add I had supply issues when she was tiny. Not been an issue when going back to work. You won't suddenly "dry up" and even if there is a bit less she'll probably just eat/drink more. I pumped a bit for comfort when I went back to work but stopped quite quickly and my boobs seemed to adjust.