Watching cartoons at 4 months old

[josefinorving]

Hello everyone, so my partner has started putting our baby girl - 4 months old - in front of cartoons for part of the day when he minds her. Not all day probably 20 minutes here and there. I’ve heard this is damaging for the baby’s development - Any thoughts / experience?

20 minutes is fine.

If it’s only 20 minutes then I wouldn’t worry about that. We used to put in the night garden on in the evenings when ds was 4 months as he loved all the colours and noises.

It's not new. In the very late 50s/early 60s my grandma used to put my mum in front of the tv, she said a lot of the time it was the test card! As long as dc is getting plenty of interaction throughout the day, it is fine.

I put my 3.5m old in front of an episode of Peter rabbit in her bouncy chair while I get dressed and put the washing on in the morning. It's probably 15mins so despite not being keen on TV for young kids I don't have a problem with this. I make sure we also read some books in the morning and she gets some time under her play gym too.

I didn’t actively put on TV for mine until around 1 and even then it was mostly for travel. That said, if it’s to get something done like have a shower or whatever then I’d be completely fine with DH doing it. 2nd and subsequent kids likely see a lot more kids TV from birth because older siblings are watching it and it doesn’t seem to do them any harm. However, if it’s multiple times a day, whenever he looks after her, and you’re getting the feeling it’s too avoid interacting with her then obviously that’s different and I would be very annoyed.

What kind of cartoon? Something aimed at babies or something like South Park?

It's unnecessary and sad he can't be bothered to interact with her

You're right. It is damaging. The WHO are very clear about passive TV, which is what he's doing to your baby, before two is bad for them. He's either ignorant, lazy or selfish!

We didn't put TV on for our DS until he was 2years old, that was the recommended age at the time. I know this isn't possible or wanted for everyone, it was just our decision.

People say it’s fine but I’ve never done this with my 18month old. The world around them is interesting enough, watching what you’re doing. The people I know who do it use it to keep their baby from crying or from under their feet when doing cleaning or other chores. I put in bouncer and talked to them while doing it or in cot with toys - yeah they cried a bit but there is research showing it’s damaging for their brain development under 2yo, at that age they’re drawn into tracking faces and learning social interaction and their brain can’t disengage, get stuck like quicksand, when they’re meant to be practicing disengaging when tired or overwhelmed (and expressing this with normal behaviour like crying). It’s like adults losing awarenesss and time scrolling Instagram but much more so.

www.nct.org.uk/baby-toddler/games-and-play/screen-time-for-babies-and-toddlers-evidence

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-47026834

I think once there’s more research it’ll be like show we view smoking around children now, an invisible thing causing long term damage but once more is known there’ll be guidelines.

I noticed it even with the screensaver on the tv which is a rainbow bouncing around, dc couldn’t look away from following it when we spoke to them or they had their favourite snack in front of them so this firmed up my attitude until they’re at least 2. When they’re 2, I’ll start watching tv with them - I’m not anti tv just taking what the research says and what is known about their brain and social development at that age to heart.

Before people jump on me, this isn’t AIBU and I’m offering my viewpoint and approach in parenting.

I don't put on TV or cartoons for my baby but we do spend a lot of time in the living room where the TV is often on in the background.

Watching TV will never be viewed as bad as smoking.

I didn't put cartoons on specifically for the baby, buy my youngest effectively watched them from birth because they were on for the toddler. Actually she probably watched more cartoons in the early days then at any other time, as there was a hell of a lot of watching duggee while I fed the baby.

If he needs 20 minutes to make dinner, clean up or even just have occasional brakes from the baby, I think it's fine. Babies are hard work and he's just doing what he needs to do to manage. It only really becomes a problem if it's on all the time and becomes the default way of entertaining her.

My second was watching CBeebies from a day old because I had a 2 year old to entertain as well.

It's fine, but I suspect the TV isn't the real issue here?

I was surprised this comment wasn't further up!

I let my 10 month old watch about 1hr of tv in the day. I am, of course, a lazy, selfish and ignorant mother! I will be calling social services on myself as soon as possible

Exactly, if you have more than one

My dd loved a nursery rhyme video I bought for her

I used to watch tv when feeding her or read if possible

I think once there’s more research it’ll be like show we view smoking around children now, an invisible thing causing long term damage but once more is known there’ll be guidelines.

What a ridiculous thing to say.
There are already guidelines and a huge amount of research and in no way is considered on a par with smoking. The research also talks about what else is happening during the day. A small amount of screen time is absolutely fine as long as there is plenty of other interaction happening.

People are so dramatic, comparing watching twenty minutes a day to breathing in cigarette smoke. Mine used to watch the bouncing fruit on YouTube for ten minutes while I had a shower. It’s alright say your child was happy watching you do things, mine used to scream. My husband was deployed so it was the only way I could shower.

She is nearly two now, already meets the speech expectations of a three year old, can identify all of the shapes and accurately draw simple ones and is very good at interacting with other children and adults. As a surprise to not one person, ten minutes of tv a day when she was little hasn’t melted her brain.

For when she is a little older - 70% of children who watch 30 minutes of subtitled tv a week are good readers compared to 34% of children who don’t turnonthesubtitles.org

My DD was 1 when DS was born, she was allowed 1 hour of cartoons in the morning while I got myself (and them) ready for the day and do the dishes, so DS mostly ended up watching cartoons too from birth! I think it's only bad if it's used as a replacement for actual parenting, but if it's while you get a job done, or get yourself sorted, then you do what you need to do. Having that time in the morning, allows me time to get myself sorted and overall makes me a better mom for the rest of the day as I don't feel rushed and stressed.

I'm always intrigued as to what people who have no screens before 2 (or whatever) do all day/night with a newborn. I spent a lot of time sat on the sofa too knackered to read and so the TV would be on, particularly in the night when DS was awake and I needed to watch something to keep myself awake too. DS didn't watch cartoons though mainly because I made him watch endless episodes of Masterchef Australia 🤷🏻‍♀️

Damaging and completely unnecessary, baby can be entertained by little toys or someone actually talking/interacting with them.

Damaging to a baby's development.

You won't find any irrefutable proof of this. You will have people who tell you it's madness to say such a thing, and people who tell you it's common sense to say such a thing.

You will find studies that support both sides (as with every topic imaginable) and you will find a consensus view.

It's up to you which you find most convincing.

There are many things that are "bad" as well, foods, habits.... and again you will not find agreement.

But even something that is bad, for a short time, or in small quantity, is going to cause such minimal damage that worrying about it would be unnecessary stress. I think "20 mins here and there" is such a case.

When it comes to co-parenting you definitely want to pick your battles. If your child is safe and happy (not in immediate danger of harm, and happy in herself) then not only will your partner probably not listen to you, but professional bodies would consider you as being controlling over your ex's time with the child.

You'll just have to let him parent how he wants as long as he keeps her safe. And if you think it's bad to be in front of the telly then you can certainly mitigate any damage by having no telly at home.

There really is no reason a child NEEDS to sit in front of a screen for long periods.

We had screens but my baby always seemed to be doing something else at the same time. She doesn't sit entranced and I think that's a good thing. Now she's older she still always plays as well as having something on in the background.

I am purposefully saving up box sets and stuff to watch when I'm trapped under the sofa under DD2, who arrives next month!

Perhaps they need to get on with something so it is helpful at times