Breastfeeding …avoid comfort sucking

[Sausage222]

Does this exist?

I want to breastfeed but I don’t want a baby who uses me as a comforter. I know it’s going to take a strain on my mental health. I already plan on mix feeding (one evening feed) so I’ve got that option if I want to go out etc.

any tips? Am I being naive? Or would you recommend formula feeding from the get go?

You can hear babies swallow when they are breastfeeding. I didn't know this at first but it does mean you can tell if they're actively feeding or just comfort sucking. Now I know, I pay attention to it!

Don't be afraid to buy some dummies!!

When mine weren't actively feeding I just popped a dummy in if I didn't want them suckling there for ages.
I know lots say this could reduce your supply but I never had any problems in this regard. I also mix fed from birth with all of mine.

Yes I think naive - (I definitely was naive about breastfeeding until I tried- I think its hard not to be). I'd suggest trying it and seeing how you get on and feel. What will work depends on your baby- some will want to be close to you more than others (formula fed babies might also not want to be put down)

Breastfeeding can feel like the most amazing thing in the world - it releases happy hormones - and there are lots of studies that show it can have a positive impact on a mother's mental health (at least if its going well)

I'd also try not to frame it as the baby 'using you as a comforter' it's more a baby instinctively seeking the familiarity and comfort of its mothers scent where its mammal instincts tell it is the safest place...

It's not always a bad thing OP, DD has one bottle during the night and then a dummy so we can share nights but I know if she doesn't settle that a few minutes on the boob will knock her out, it's tiring but very handy during the night!

You can tell when they stop drinking and are just suckling, and then you can pop in a dummy instead. A tiny baby is going to use you as a comforter as you are all they know. I wouldn't say it's a reason not to breastfeed....

Thanks - all helpful replies!

Honestly if you BF it doesn't matter what the question is, the answer is BM.

Hungry, thirsty, ill, tired, anxious, sleepy? All BM. It's both annoying and incredibly helpful. I travelled all over with DD (transatlantic etc) and needed nothing because I had boobs.

DD also had a dummy.

Yes it is a thing. Dummies help.

I would say you don't need to decide now, just see how things go and if you don't want to continue breastfeeding then that's fine. I didn't plan on breastfeeding but when he was born I decided to give it a go and it was brilliant. My baby never cluster fed or used me as a dummy but he was a slow feeder (compared to some), it would take him 50 minutes per feed for the first few months and he fed every 3 hours like clockwork 24/7. After around 4 months he got a lot faster.

A lot of babies won't take a dummy btw, mine never did.

My first baby comfort fed a lot, my second only does to settle at night. They are so different! Try it and see how you get on, it can be difficult/painful to start with but once you get past the early days it is dead easy! Some babies won't take a dummy.

With ds1 who was never happy without something in his mouth (and I had shredded nipples so coudnt tolerate comfort sucking in the early days) I used to let him suck my finger because I was bizarrely anti dummies (fool).

With ds2 I introduced a dummy from v early on although he rejected it for his thumb as soon as he was able.

Both were feeding well and gaining weight and my supply was very robust. If any of these aren't the case then you'd want to be careful you weren't restricting feeds.

In the first couple of months what you are calling comfort sucking can be an important mechanism to increase your supply, ditto cluster feeding when they feed frequently in the evening. I tried more set feeding this time with my 3rd - finished? Off you come then! But found she wasn’t putting enough weight on so I stopped that.
however with my first I didn’t know how to take him off the boob so I fed him each time until he popped off himself, this meant I’d be there for hours. I am a bit more capable now and do pop them off after they’ve had a decent feed (slide a finger into their mouth to pop the suction and ease nipple out)

Yep I think you are pretty naive, half the point of breastfeeding is the comfort element. But even with bottle feeding, it takes forever - they don’t just drink the bottle and they are done, they mess about, latch off and on, fall asleep and wake up… Everything with babies takes way longer than it ought to, you just have to embrace it.

Mix feeding is useful though - DH did the 6am feed and nappy before he went to work, so I got a straight stretch of sleep between 3am-9am. Saved my sanity, and had no impact on my supply.

Agree with a pp that they are so different - wait and see what yours is like. My second just wasn't sucky. He just came off the breast when he had had enough milk.

Depends on the baby really. I would recommend bf-ing, but OH BOY you do get used as a dummy