Afraid of Well Women's Exam

[BabbitAndBink]

I've NC for this as I'm embarrassed though I don't really know why.

I had my first child about 1.5 years ago, and I haven't scheduled my Well Women's exam yet. The birth went ok, but the very worst part was the cervidil I was given to induce labor. I was told it would be like a tampon and I have never experienced worse pain in my life. The nurse had a splint on one of her fingers and I feel like she may have used the splinted hand to insert it, I was squealing like an animal and trying to get away from her while crying and apologizing. Thinking about it now makes me cry. Most of the birth is hazy for me but that part I remember. I wasn't offered any pain relief.

I have never had a pain-free pap smear although they always say "its just uncomfortable not painful" and I once had a doctor tell me sternly that I would have trouble giving birth if it bothered me that much. I'm also worried they stitched me up too tightly because I still have to always start really slow with intimacy with my husband (so sorry for tmi).

I feel terrified about the speculum. I'm still not using tampons because they frighten me now (not sure why sex is exempt from my fear). My heart races when I think about booking the appointment, I don't know how I could relax enough to.finish it. I can't take Xanax as I'm still breastfeeding.

Anyone else experience this and overcome it?

It’s important for your health that you attend these well woman app but also important for your health you seek help for the mental health issues the trauma has left you with. I’d call your gp/ nurse/ gyne and chat through everything you’ve said in your op. They will know how to help you best.

Definitely speak to the practice first. Tell them your problem and maybe with speaking to the GP about it to get some counselling. You have every right to feel how you do btw, it's just that it's a shame to still be suffering f if there's a way to reduce that suffering.

You're also not obliged to get Pap smears OP. I do and I think they're a good idea, but know that it's your choice. Personally, I hate them for other reasons. I do it though because I tell myself that if I don't and something gets missed that could have been picked up during them, then I'd then need more invasive interventions.

I think being left with a trauma that affects your whole life should be part of the well woman check tbh. You don't have to have a smear or any other vaginal procedure; you can refuse it and explain why.

How old are you? Smears are becoming less and less necessary as the generation who had HPV vaccination grows up. Why not ask whether HPV vaccination could reduce risks for you, if you haven't had it?

It's all normal. You need to stop over thinking. It took my body years to get back to normal

I had an extremely similar experience to you that left me with real issues involving internal examinations.

Things that have helped me are inserting the speculum myself, being extremely clear to the medical staff about my issues without feeling guilty for making a fuss (they understand ) and lately realising that I can pay for a swab to test for HPV which means if I test negative then no Pap smear is necessary at the time.

I do sympathise. Best of luck.

Thank you all so much for responding. I'm 33, I know it's silly to be afraid! I will ask about doing a swab instead, I do believe pap smears are really important, this just feels like a phobia or something, I know I'm not being rational. I do go to a midwifery group rather than an OB, and they are very respectful, I really shouldn't be afraid.

Sometimes fears aren’t rational @BabbitAndBink . Have a chat with them. I hope you get sorted.

You can call and explain that you had a traumatic birth and would like a double appointment. That way they can take their time. They’re desperate to swab us for their stats, so just ask for what you need xx

Hi OP - was all this triggered post birth or was it like that before too? You might have vaginismus. I'm by no means diagnosing, but the feelings you describe sound like exactly what happens to me, basically when anything needs to be inserted. In which case you are not being irrational at all, it's a very genuine but overlooked problem.

The fear is post birth, I have always found smears painful though I used to be be able to sort of force relaxation. I feel silly telling the midwifery team it's caused by birth trauma because I haven't said anything about since and I know (think?) the cervidil insertion is normal for most people?

It doesn’t really matter what happened during the birth on paper, you’ve come away (like a lot of us) with a trauma, and they should understand that. Even if you had the most straight forward birth imaginable it’s still a fairly traumatic experience and most births meet the threshold for triggering PTSD, it’s just how we process it.

You certainly will not be the first to have this issue post baby. When I mentioned it and asked for extra time they understood immediately, and I’ve mentioned it to friends since and they’ve all said that either they know someone else who found things like this hard or they themselves did.

are you in the UK? I feel like maybe you’re not?

No, I'm in the US. They schedule checkups at 6 weeks, 12 weeks and 1 year post birth, or at least my practice does. I guess I'm worried if I call it a trauma they'll think I'm trying to sue them or something, they really are a nice group though.