Do I Just need eyes in the back of my head

[pollyRae16]

Can't leave DS1 with DD (8 weeks) for even a second . She's already been tipped out of her Moses basket onto the floor and now tonight he's trod on her face whilst I was changing her nappy and trying to get him ready for bed.
I'm filled with constant fear and anxiety. Does it get better 😩

Moses basket wise, can you wedge the Moses basket between say the wall and sofa arm? That way you have somewhere downstairs to put them in when your in room, but toddler can’t tip it accidentally

fyi I only have a 2 year old. He’s wild, and would definitely have done the same being curious.

Completely normal. We have a toddler who is now 2.10 and 9 month twins - so 2.1 when twins were born.

He's learned, but we've had to be careful because the twins can't be in a sling, or only one at a time. Toddler has very occasionally tried to post wooden cars or posh toys over the bars of the cot.

Our answer has been playpen and nursery for toddler so he gets barging time. We bought big cots secondhand and put them in key rooms. The babies sit in bouncy chairs in the cots or are able to move around in them so develop their strength without being on the floor. A second hand jumparoo has been another good respite for babies while the toddler rampages.

Honestly it sounds normal with that age - big one thinks the baby is a new toy!
But agree with others, toddler can't be trusted, not because they're evil, they just gave no common sense.

I’d say this is normal for an excitable 2.5yo as my DS was similar when DD was a newborn. He was 2.5 when she was born and he used to do things like stomp around near her head and once he head butted her when he was bouncing his head excitedly to go in for a kiss. None of this was deliberately trying to hurt her, he was just acting like an excited puppy.

our DS is 3.5 now and is far better around her but I can’t really leave them alone for long as the other day he wanted to pick her up but went to do it by her neck! It wasn’t deliberate in the slightest, he was just trying to pick her up like we do but being clumsy about it (we definitely don’t pick her up around the neck).

Just keep explaining and role modelling how to be gentle with her and hopefully it will sink in with time.

also, try and get him involved as much as possible with baby so he feels involved. We constantly tell DS how much the baby loves him and I think this helps him feel gentle towards her.

it will get easier but it’s all a work in progress!

First of all you need a playpen where you can put your toddler as needed. I know they are old fashioned but they are useful.
Secondly, he is clearly jealous which is natural. How would you feel if your DH brought home another woman and said’ we are all going to live together but I still love you’?
Remember its healthy that he feels he can express his jealousy but you need to explain that soon the baby will be able to play with him and will look up to him as a big brother.
Find time to spend with him on his own.
This will pass and they will be best of friends.

I think playpen for baby not toddler, my 2 year old climbs out cot or over stair gates so a playpen wouldn’t contain him. It’s more so baby can lie around without accidentally being trod on

It sounds normal to me. In the early couple of months I didn't really leave my two together alone for more than about 60 seconds at a time and DC1 was 3 and a quarter. I definitely couldn't have left them alone together if she was 2.5, at 3+ she understands much better how to be gentle, that baby is small and fragile etc but at 2.5 that kind of understanding is very limited and also they have very little impulse control as well, as well as less communication skills. Really don't leave them alone together at all.

You've had some good suggestions already like baby in sling a lot - we did this a lot in the first 3 months. Moses basket if you have a stand you could carry her around in it if you have to go into another room. Baby could also sleep in a travel cot or playpen in the day so DC1 can't get to them - although could in theory throw toys in at them or whatever so still one to watch. Eldest could be kept away from baby via baby gates/playpens (the gated type)/closed and locked doors temporarily if needs be, or try and take DC1 with you any time you need to leave the room e.g. to go to the bathroom etc. It will get easier.

I had a just turned 2 year old when my second son was born and yes you need eyes in the back of your head. I was one of those whose oldest tried to pinch the baby etc etc and yes sometimes I do think it was malicious. Do I believe him to not be normal? No, of course not. This type of behaviour is very common amongst siblings and can continue for a while, anyone who has not experienced this from the older child is very lucky in my opinion. You need a playpen for when baby is older. It will all change again when youngest becomes mobile. I used to have to take one with me to toilet.

Sending hugs it is tough i I had the same age gap and like other suggested we had the baby seat on the Tripp trapp which made it a lot easier. Also give it a couple of months and it gets easier too. Absolutely nothing wrong with you eldest they just don't always understand the consequences of what they are doing at that age