Toddler haircut refusal - please help!

[Grace198]

I am utterly desperate and hoping someone may have a tip that I haven't yet tried.
My 2 yr old son refuses to have his hair cut. As soon as we even touch his hair, he screams, flaps his arms around his head and pulls away. There is no pain or discomfort, he is the same with cutting nails etc.
We have tried desensitising him to scissors, using them around the house, 'silent' hair clippers, giving him a treat to eat, access to an iPad, putting toys in his hands. I can't even cut it while he sleeps without him waking up immediately.
I've tried taking him to the hairdresser's but they refused to cut his hair as without pinning him down, they couldn't cut it safely. I'd happily leave it long but it's very straight and hangs directly in his eyes and ears. It drives him mad and we've had many a scratch and poked eye from him trying to brush it out his face. Please tell me there is a magic solution!

I should add we have tried to tie it up or put a head band on, but he will fight us away when we try and pull it out the minute it's done.

I would try to snip his fringe when he is asleep.

My DS1 and DS2 to a lesser extent were the same. With DS1 I ended up doing little bits myself when he was asleep. For DS2 there was a particular barber at our local place who was prepared to persevere. He really earned his money, poor man. We still go back to him now.

Hm, mine eventually allowed it for the promise of chocolate buttons (which were on the table in front of h8m throughout soo could keep reminding him. We also gave h8m an iPad and DH full attention whilst I snipped. I did have to dole out a few buttons during the cut as well and did it as quick as possible. Basically a few hurried snips. Repeat every couple of weeks to build acceptance and because you can't manage a whole cut at once :-(

I thought I was winning by taking him for regular cuts from baby age, but covid ruined it and I doubt I will get him back to a real hairdresser now til he is eight or so!

DS was like this. We tried all these things and then I cut his fringe while he was sleeping. Eventually my mum cut it with clippers really slowly through the day with the promise of chocolate/lolly ices/ whatever else we could think of. It really was a complete nightmare, to give you hope though he's 3.5 now and actively pulls a chair into the kitchen at my mums and asks for a hair cut😂 he started associating it with doing things he liked, we would say 'once you get a haircut you can have a disco bath to wash the hair off' a disco bath being a normal bath with his projector light and glow sticks😂 or once you've had your hair cut we can go to the park. Now he's not a bit bothered by it. Also it massively helped him seeing my dad get his hair cut by my mum, he saw it didn't hurt and wasn't scary.

is there some kind of hat he might wear, or bandana with superman insignia or similar.
any kind of headgear might help as a way in to the zone.
it might help keep hair tidy, but even if not, worth a try.
present it as something of interest, not to do with the hair issue.

So essentially you're trying to force him to allow something he doesn't consent to? We're not cutting our 2.5 yo old's hair until he tell us he wants it done. Why is it even essential at that age??

I have a 3 year old (suspected ASD) who won’t have his hair cut. He won’t have the scissors near him. I cut it in his sleep.

We're not cutting our 2.5 yo old's hair until he tell us he wants it done. Why is it even essential at that age??

We have to cut his hair as otherwise it gets in his eyes. Its fairly dangerous to not be able to see! Plus it causes irritation.

Not sure if you have one in your area but my friend uses a barber that specialises in cutting the hair of people with sensory issues. He brings them in on the first visit and doesn’t touch them, just talks to them, let’s them watch a hair cut and hold the clippers and gets them involved then slowly builds up to cutting hair but makes it fun and always stops when they have had enough and brings them back for a tidy up cut a few days later

So essentially you're trying to force him to allow something he doesn't consent to? We're not cutting our 2.5 yo old's hair until he tell us he wants it done. Why is it even essential at that age??

Goodness gracious.
What if your child didn't want their teeth brushed? Or to have a bath?

Just let it grow and tie it in a pony tail, lots of boys have long hair these days.

Would having him see someone else getting their hair cut help? My son at that age would watch DH clipper his own hair and be happy to follow suit.

I remember my little brother refusing to have his hair cut when he was small. We got around it by saying that we'd take the hair outside and give it to the birds to make their nests. Could you have a talk about what the birds are up to at the moment, and how they like to have lovely soft things to put inside to keep their eggs warm. Lay it on as thickly as you like. No idea if it would work at all, but it worked like a charm for DB.

We have a barber who specialises in doing hair for neurodiverse & difficult children in Sheffield, you need to look for one. My ds had a bad experience at a hairdressers when he was small & he still hates having his hair cut at 18.

DD is 2.5 and refuses to have her hair cut. It's very long at the front and it gets in her eyes. She used to refuse to have clips or ties in, so spent a lot of time with her hair in her eyes. When it started to bother her, she started to let us clip it back. We just waited for her to be ready. It seems like a small thing, but giving little people bodily autonomy where we can is very important IMO.

Have you got anywhere nearby that is set up specially for children? One of mine will only tolerate having his hair cut at a special children's salon where he can sit in a car shaped seat to have it done. It's half an hour away which is a bit of a pain but after what I did to his hair in lockdown it's worth it!