Stair gate at night?

[tingalayo]

We live in a flat and moving to a house soon. My 3 year old is in a cot in our room still and she'll be in a bed in her own room after we move. In our flat we have a stair gate at the top of the stairs which lead to the front door, but we leave it open at night because I'm worried about access in case of fire. I don't really know what to do when we move. I want her to be able to leave her room and come into ours if she needs us so I don't think I want a gate on her bedroom door. I also wouldn't want a closed gate at the top of the stairs at night. But I also don't want her to come out of her room in the dark in an unfamiliar house and trip down the stairs, or go downstairs and do whatever she wants in the kitchen or whatever. Basically I have a 3 year old who has never had freedom or been apart from us when we're asleep and can't keep an eye on her and I have no idea how you're supposed to handle that. Is there an obvious solution I haven't thought of?

Why don't you want a stairgate at the top of the stairs? That's the obvious solution, and tbh the only way to keep her safe.

Chances of your house catching fire and both adults being suddenly unable to open a stair gate? Low.

Chances of your toddler waking up in s strange house in the dark and falling down the stairs while trying to find you? High.

Baby monitor that alerts on noisd and movement?

• noise

Agree with this. We have 4 yo and a 2 yo and we have a closed stairgate at the top of our stairs.

I'd keep her in your room for the first month or so anyway, even aside from the stair gate issue, it would be a lot of change all at once to be first time in own room in a strange place.

Once she's settled and use to those stairs I probably wouldn't bother with stair gates at all for a 3yo. We got rid of ours at around 2 because mine are climbers, and a fall from the top of the gate onto and down the stairs seemed more likely and more dangerous. They also thud down the stairs with the noise of a pack of elephants, so little chance of them sneaking down without waking me.

Stair gate at the top of the stairs is the obvious choice.
I don’t think the stair gate is going to impede your exit by more than a couple of seconds in the event of a fire. Surely you’ll use it so often you can open it automatically basically.

We’ve got a stair gate at the top of the stairs. it’s always closed. I don’t understand why you don’t want to do that.

We use a stairgate still because sometimes DD wakes up in the night and shuffles around like a zombie to get to our room and has to go past the top of the staircase, and I'd rather she didn't trip and fall while half asleep. Never really thought about the fire thing - it's easy to open so can't think it poses any additional risk really.

My DS is 3 and we haven't had a stair gate on the stairs since he was just gone 2. Health visitor agreed that over 2 they shouldn't really be used as they can be a climbing risk. He just walks from his room to ours in the night if he needs us, and I got a motion sensitive nightlight that I've plugged in outside his bedroom so he can see the way when it's dark.

We had stair gate at top and bottom of stairs and kept the top one closed (even when there wasn't a child in the house - force of habit!). Only closed bottom one if we were downstairs as the stairs came up from the living room.
It was never a problem at night, and if we ever had to go downstairs quickly eg for someone at the door you become very adept at opening them! Didn't want to risk DD falling down the stairs in the dark during the night if she'd got up for the loo etc.

We have a stair gate at the top of the stairs

Are they not a fire hazard then? I know doors can heat up and swell shut in a fire and assumed a stair gate would do the same especially because it's metal. Or be too hot to touch. And I know I wouldn't be able to climb over one quickly, I can't climb over the fence in the park and that's lower than my waist.

Is it more likely that your house catches fire, or your toddler gets confused in the dark?

I would just get rid off it. Ds has just turned 2, and he can climb over the gates in 5 seconds so I really don’t think they are that safe for a 3+ year old. They can just climb over and fall from even higher

Actually most baby gates say 0-24 months on them.

I think at 3+ years they need to me allowed to go up and down stairs at home tbh. They will encounter lots of stairs out and about and at others houses and they need to learn at some point to confidently use them.

Does your 3 year old not climb out of their cot already?

I'd never thought of her climbing over it, she's never tried that and doesn't climb out of her cot. She's definitely confident on stairs, when we stay at my parents house she goes up and down by herself as she pleases. I'm more worried about her stumbling down the stairs at night if she's confused and also what she might get up to if she decides to get up in the morning and go downstairs by herself while we're still sleeping, I've no idea what to expect!

Is your house especially high fire risk?! It's highly unlikely you'll have a fire but you can make sure you've got working smoke detectors on each floor - that'll wake you before the stair gate gets hot!

DD wasn't a climber and never showed any inclination to climb out of her cot or over a gate. She stayed in the cot until her third birthday and we left the stair gates up until around then too. We left the one across the study door until about 4.5!

We had one on my ds1 door till well over 3 and never took the one off the bottom of the stairs or kitchen because of having ds2. The ds1 at 4 has never tried to climb them so I'm not sure it's a given they can climb over them. I think you are massively over thinking the fire thing it's such a low chance and if there was one you would find a way to get through it. Never heard of ppl being stuck by a stair gate in a fire!!

I just don’t think if they are confident on the stairs that they will suddenly start stumbling around at night. They will just safely walk down the stairs like daytime, like a 5/7/10 year old would

fyi we are in a three story house. Ds has been going up and down fine since 18 ish months, but when he wakes at night he just shouts for us or walks into our bedroom. He’s never just got up and wandered downstairs alone.
we have nightlights from his bedroom alone hallway and to our room also which might work for you. Means the downstairs is very dark and they just don’t gravitate to them.

Im amazed 4 year olds haven’t opened and climbed the gates already! I always thought cots and gates were just really low as from standing age like 9/10+ months he could already pull up and topple the top on occasions. They need to invent cots that go to the ceiling… but I guess that’s just a cage.

I think if my stairgate was so hot to touch in a fire I would not be going down the stairs, I would be heading out the window instead!

A pressure fit one or even a wall fitted one is likely to come off the wall quickly with a good kick from an adult anyway.

We moved into our house, from a flat, when DD was 3. We didn’t bother with stair gates but did leave a light on the landing so if she does get up she can see where she’s going. At 3 I’d be much more worried about them climbing over them and getting hurt in the process than them being unable to navigate the stairs.

I think if my stairgate was so hot to touch in a fire I would not be going down the stairs, I would be heading out the window instead!

Exactly this

I was coming to say this!

We have a stair gate for our 3-year-old. He has no desire to climb over it as if he leaves his bed in the night he just wants to come and see me. My DH worries DS would fall down the stairs so it stays. I might get rid over the summer.

We have an emergency fire ladder upstairs so, if for any reason we couldn't get down the stairs, we have some way of getting out. But we also have excellent smoke alarms that beep at the smallest thing, so we'd hopefully be woken up long before the stair gate was impassable!