Finding speech delay really hard

[crazymuseummum]

Hi everyone. My DS2(and nearly 4 months) has a speech delay. He has maybe ten very indistinct words (chick, cheese, kick, pepper, peas, bye... along with noises like woof, brmm, roar). We've had a few speech therapy play sessions with our local University clinic, and have a referral in for NHS speech therapy but have been told there's a 3 year wait (!) in our area.

I know I shouldn't compare my experience to other parents, but I find it so hard seeing and hearing other two year olds stringing three and four words together, having full on conversations with their parents. I think my son's understanding is fine (hearing has been checked and is fine), but he obviously gets so frustrated that he can't tell me what he wants or what's wrong. He's bright and bubbly and engaged, but the tantrums when I can't understand his needs are epic. We do some Makaton, but his acquisition of new signs is rare.

Can anyone offer any advice, or tell me their story of speech delay that worked out OK? I'm just feeling very despondent today.

Thanks,
CMM

My eldest DS was exactly the same at that age but it does get better I promise. He's 7 now and doesn't ever stop talking. We did speech therapy through play at that age and I found it really helpful. Flash cards/pictures can help if he's struggling with communicating his needs, you could do a board with basic things like drink, food ect on. Just keep talking to him, it will come.

Teach yourself Makaton , and get some pecs boards .
My son has SN ( speech delay if you like) and it changed our lives . I watched your tube videos and my tumble . He is nearly 11 and still has limited speech so it comes in handy sometimes !

You can try to increase his words, by labeling everything ( with the word ). And extending his few words.

So get down at his level and label everything he touches. When he picks up a car, say "car." If he says car, say "red car" ( that the extending). Other examples could be "fast car" "broombroom car"

You can try choices such as hols out the items and says blue cup or red cup. It's not so much him the words, he'll probably just point or take it but it's feeding in the words to his memory bank. But it's the short simple sentence.

Try to cut down your sentence length so he can pull out the key words. So "Shoes on" instead of "please go and out your shoes on." It's just so he can learn the words, because he probably understands your long version already.

This was me last year.
Read a word 3 times;
Look at the bus,
The bus is going fast,
Bye bye bus.
SING. Nursery rhymes are amazing for them pick up words from.
My son didn't take to pec boards but know other kids they have worked great for.
Also, when your talking to him pause for abit to see if he replies, even if he makes a noise he's communicating with you.
Give him options, apple or banana?
Does your son go to nursery? This was also a game changer for us.

If you were to have posted this a year ago, I would have cried with you. All I wanted was to hear him say mammy.
It does come op, he has some words already which is amazing, my boy said none.
Now a year on, he chats on and sings all day.
Whilst we aren't at the stage of having a proper conversation like some of his peers I know it'll come.
As I said above nursery helped massively.

My DS (3 in July) can say 2 words. Mama & no. As well as animal noises. I hear you it's stressful! I cry most days so I have no advice but your not alone!

I hear you! My dd was chattering away by age 2. My son - had virtually no speech until he was three. He would learn a word and then forget it again too, which worried me no end. He got very frustrated

Now age 3 years and 5 months, I cannot shut him up! He narrates everything, has a good vocabulary, most of his consonant sounds come out clearly and he is talking in long sentences.

I was convinced he would not catch up - and he's not totally caught up compared to some of his very articulate friends but definitely enough.

ds also has a speech delay, the improvement from 2-4 has been great (but still not up to expected standard). It's hard and shit but i have realised how many other kids have the same issue, he will speak more and when he does it will be the most wonderful thing ever x

Nursery rhymes and familiar books are good for leaving a gap and hoping they say the word.

So you sing Twinkle twinkle little ..... ( big longer than usual gap count slowly to 10 in your head then add the word if they don't say it)

Baa baa black... ( sheep)

Ready steady ..... (go)

Books like dear zoo or my presents or there's various simple flap books like Spot ones or the Julia Donaldson acorn wood toddler ones. So you hope they name the item under the flap... leave a big pause. If they don't you name it.

My Ds really struggled with his speech, but he had some other issues too like glue ear and a throat issue, but once I got to grips with what to do he really started improving rapidly.

We also did private speech therapy, but it's hard to find someone for under school age, even more so for under 3. I would recommend it though. I really was speaking to him like an adult, before I made some changes to improve his speech by speaking at his level. Big learning curve for me. My DS was mute at nursery ( started him at 2 to hope he would start talking) They did loads to try and help him, and I'm sure it did, it just took him ages to actually speak.

He has just turned 6 and I would say he has caught up. We had him re- accessed and did do some more private therapy until recently. I would say that socially he's a bit behind ( shy), but I think not talking makes it very hard to make friends. I hope in the next year it will improve.

My DS1 was exactly the same.

We had several SaLT sessions via zoom and now at 3.6 he's vastly improved.

Advice from sessions:

Match and Add
Every word he says, repeat back and add a word. Cat. Yes, cat. Black cat.

Don't coach. Take the pressure off entirely, you will make it worse. Don't question. Just label.

Sound effects all the time. Splash. Zippppp. Crash. Smash.

Songs with sounds. Splish splash I was taking a bath.

Offer choices. Hold out a banana and an apple. Say banana, then apple. Don't ask the question just let him copy.

Play. On the floor. For a good amount of time each day. Let him lead. If he brings a car, play with the car. Describe what you are doing. Car going fast! Car fell off the table! Mummy drives the car!

Keep a list among family and add each new word. When they get to about 50, you should start to hear linked words.

It's so frustrating but he's tiny. It will come, you'd be surprised to hear mine had such a delay when you hear him waffling on now.

It's so tough. My son had a similar number of words at that age. He's always been very communicative but talking just wasn't something he seemed interested in. At 3 and a half he's saying so much more. We can have little conversations. He speech is still behind his peers but miles better. He had some epic tantrums which peaked just as his speech was starting to finally come, due to getting frustrated, but not he's really calmed. I'm really, really loving the stage he's now.

It's tough not to compare to others. My friend's son is 11 months younger and has beautiful speech and an insane vocabulary for a 2 year old. It's so hard not to compare but you have to try and tune out the development of others. We also focus on all his strengths. Physically he's always been so ahead. He's confident and adaptable and is amazing at problem solving. His nursery workers tell us how sunny and happy he is.

My DS had speech delay and for quite a few years struggled to find the right word especially if stressed. I was always quite chilled about it as he was my third and I guess you get used to kids having issues of some sort. DS is intelligent and I would say has a very sophisticated way of thinking. When relaxed he really surprises me with the complexity of his communication. His siblings are intelligent in a more conventional way. I think his speech delay may somehow have been connected to how he thinks. By that I mean unconventional - outside the box.

My advice is avail of the speech therapy and do as others have suggested but most importantly try and relax about it - easy to say I know.

Mine is slightly younger and has a speech delay, they only have three words and every time they learn a new word, they lose an old word so I am following this post with interest.

I would actually have a private hearing test done because the NHS passed my DD 3 times when she had near "deaf" hearing impairment in the high frequencies.

Young DC should be able to hear high frequencies at less than 20'decibels, NHS say below 40 is fine - it really isn't for learning speech.

Teach him baby sign language to reduce frustration and give him language skills ready for when his speech improves.

Model speech to him.

BBC 'tiny happy people' has some useful tips and tools (on Instagram and I think Facebook)

@crazymuseummum I could have literally written what you have. My DS is 2yrs 2months and also has major speech delay. He only says duck duck and then everything is aah, aah, or oh no, oh wow and ah huh. He says hhhh for dog and tries to whistle for a bird. Only a couple weeks ago he finally said mama and dada a few times. When he was 18 months he said truck and light but thats all stopped.

He also has awful tantrums multiple times a day trying to express his little self. He understands everything we say. Ive asked for help from the GP, and HV. He had a hearing test done that is clear so ive been told no other help now until his 2 and a half yr review which i found out yesterday from the HV is now nearer to 2yrs 9 months.

Its so frustrating and I completely know what youre going through. I've been asking him to show me and point to what he wants etc and then say what that is for example he points to a cup. I say cup, youd like a cup. Would you like a drink? And he now says ah huh. So i ask him say please and he claps his hands. All ive been told is to constantly repeat each thing so the words go into his brain.
Hes so smart and clever in figuring things out but he just wont talk.

All I can say is what ive been told, not to worry and he will start talking when hes ready. Easier said than done esp when so many other kids as you say speak in 2-3 words and he doesnt. Sorry I cant offer much help but sympathise with you on this.

i didnt want to read all the previous posts so sorry if I’m repeating anything!

have you considered trying sign language classes? I currently attend one that’s for babies/toddlers and includes singing, signing and play. It might help your son to be able to get across what he wants / needs without talking, whilst he is still mastering his language skills. It’s not a quick fix but could be of benefit in the interim.

This was my DD, she's now nearly 5 and although still under SALT it is now just her pronunciation of some words and sounds and she needs to improve on. I can't shut her up now!
Does your DS go to nursery? If not I would strongly recommend some form of early years education as it does help a lot.

i’m sorry that you’re experiencing this. We realised there was an issue with our DS when he was 2. Found out there was a long waiting list so had a private assessment at 27 months. An assessment picked up loads of atypical issues. Not making eye contact, no mimicking, definite speech disorder. Was incomprehensible. Didn’t imitate signing either. Ruled out autism but he really confused the speech therapist. Would sometimes be a lot clearer. But was told the big regressions weren’t normal. Definite speech disorder. Have spent over 1k on sessions in the past year. Have had to borrow money.

He turned 3 two weeks ago. Started talking clearly and normally a month before his first birthday… his NHS assessment is on Monday, a year after being on the waiting list (I’ve heard they will not assess before 3 now). I am expecting them to say he doesn’t even have a delay. I had heard the age between 2.5 and 3 is huge for speech but I was too frightened to wait and see. Please don’t despair. The 2-2.5 was a terrorising time. You become acutely aware of the difference.

I would check back in and confirm the 3 year time frame with the NHS. Did they mean in 3 years time or after the age of 3. In the meantime, Could you get a private assessment? If you can I would not feel you need to rush into one, unless it would help you to be doing something more tangible. The SLT was great at helping me to adapt to more appropriate ways communicating with my DS and it definitely helped. But I don’t think it changed the outcome. I think he had his own developmental path to follow and was always going to start talking at this point.

I am so sorry you’re going through this experience and I hope that my experience can give you some hope. It is rarely a long term issue.

Oh goodness, thank you for your really kind replies, everyone! It's heartening to know I'm not the only one up to experience this (these things can often feel that way, which I know is silly).

Lots of the advice you've all given is familiar, I guess it's just a case of putting it in to practice as much as we possibly can, and trying to make a conscious effort without getting stressed about it?!

Helpfully, my sister is an SLT. We don't live near her, so with the pandemic and stuff, she's been keen not to intervene too much when she sees so little of my son. But we're moving closer in a few weeks time, so he's gonna be getting lots of 1-on-1 Auntie time!

Thanks, everyone xx

My son has a speech delay and I have found it so difficult to find the relevant information I needed in order to help him, it took me a long time to understand what we could do at home to help support his speech development. To help others I have been creating a mobile app called Pippin to help parents of speech delayed children access information about how they can help speech development at home and track their child's speech progress. I am working with a few different specialists to create the content, the app is still in development but if you would like to know when it launches then please signup on my website: pippinspeech.com/

@ivfbabymomma1 Hello, some update?